Public Service Announcement: Microsoft Plans on Breaking Your Hard Drive

October 19th, 2009 · 23 Comments

In an upcoming Dashboard update for the 360, Microsoft has intimated that they plan on cracking down on unauthorized memory units and hard drives by rendering them inoperable once the update is applied.
Okay, not exactly like the pic, but pretty close.

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Tags: Editorial · News · Xbox 360

Slapping Jack Thomspon in the Face with an Atari 2600!

October 6th, 2009 · 8 Comments

YES! Just when you thought the man was out, he’s back! Jack Thompson!  He’s BACK!  To humor and delight us all with his quasi-legal antics!  Remember that time when he blamed pedophilia on playing too much Virtua Fighter and then tried to sue Sega?
Okay, maybe that didn’t happen.  But if you’re into video games at [...]

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Tags: Editorial · News

When Media Whores Collide!

May 15th, 2009 · 4 Comments

Disbarred Florida attorney and video gaming anti-Christ Jack Thompson has been hired on as a legal consultant to assist in drawing up litigation for the legal department of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).
Will there be enough room for both megalomaniacal egos to fit in one article? The world will find out [...]

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Tags: Feature · Parody News

ScrewAttack announces OctoMom for SGC!

April 3rd, 2009 · 8 Comments

This morning, ScrewAttack.com announced yet another massive addition to its lineup of speakers at this year’s ScrewAttack Gaming Convention, slated for this July in Dallas.  While earlier reports of Jack Thompson’s planned appearance have sparked controversy among some, today’s announcement comes as a massive shock.
“We’ve reached a deal with OctoMom for a debate with a [...]

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Tags: Parody News

Screwattack promotes Jack Thompson to sell Convention tickets…

April 2nd, 2009 · 53 Comments

Jack Thompson is the boogeyman of the video games industry.  At least, that’s how he’d like to be known, just ask him.  Now that he’s no longer a member of the Florida State Bar, he’s become an Internet tourist attraction. The worst part is that we, as video gamers, have supported websites that have used [...]

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Tags: News

A Jackhole Thompson gaming bill a good thing?

March 4th, 2009 · 5 Comments

The last few years have seen all sorts of bills put forward to tackle the issue of violent video games and their sale to young children. Almost all of which were heavy handed, ignorant and unlawful attempts by people who know nothing about video games to control, who were merely seeking re-election attention, what we [...]

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Tags: News

Sales up, crime down; now who’s in the wrong?

January 15th, 2009 · 5 Comments

You wonder where the morons that attack games get their figures from. “Crime is up,” they say, “and it’s because of them video games.” We’ve had our favourite ex-lawyer (you know the one) attach every M-rated game under the sun to some crime or another, and Congressman Joe Baca is currently proposting that games be [...]

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Tags: News

Don’t stick a fork in Jack@#$ Thompson’s career just yet

January 5th, 2009 · 4 Comments

Jack Thompson just won’t go away. Jack, like a lingering fecal nugget, refuses to be flushed. I would blame game bloggers, who constantly write about his outlandish shenanigans, but I refuse to point the finger at myself or my associates. Therefore, I will continue to deflect blame as I post yet another article about the [...]

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Tags: News

Top 100 – #24 Jack Thompson Bids Farewell To His Legal Career

December 30th, 2008 · 4 Comments

It had to happen sooner or later. Following a career of mishaps, exaggerations and numerous failed lawsuits, Jack Thompson’s time had run out. Earlier this year, he was officially disbarred by the State of Florida from practicing law. Hallelfrickingujah, praise be, he had it coming.

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Tags: News

Welcome to the unemployment line, Jack.

July 10th, 2008 · 7 Comments

You may well remember sometime last month that Jack Thompson was in a poor old state as his career looked to be on hold for ten years. In the case of Thompson vs. The Florida Bar, the Bar recommended that Thompson be given an “enhanced disbarment,” which, if upheld would essentially ban him from practicing [...]

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Tags: News

Rockstar President named in Jack Thompsons will?

June 6th, 2008 · 8 Comments

MIAMI, FLORDA – In a shocking change of heart, Jack Thompson’s PA announced earlier this week that the game-hating attorney had modified his will to leave everything to the president of Rockstar Games and his dog. The entirety of Thompson’s fortune, or whatever is left following the payment of legal fees for every failed court [...]

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Tags: Parody News

That lawyer from Florida, you know, the one we all dislike… a lot… is screwed

June 5th, 2008 · 12 Comments

A Kotaku reader present at Jackhole’s disciplinary hearing in Florida today reported that the lawyer stormed out of his own hearing, remarking that the judge “did not have the authority to hear his case.”
The case of Thompson versus the Florida Bar (the state-wide organisation of lawyers and attorneys) looks set to end in favor of [...]

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Tags: News

Jack Thompson’s letter to Rockstar Chief’s MOTHER

April 25th, 2008 · 29 Comments

Good morning. It’s Fiction Friday. I wish this were fiction, but it’s true as far as I can gather from CVG.
Apparently, Jack Thompson has sent another one of his famous “Letters” to none other than the MOTHER of Rockstar Chief, Strauss Zelnick. On the paper, which was reported to have been doused heavily in Aqua [...]

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Tags: News · PlayStation 3 · Xbox 360