Sometimes I run across photos that don’t need to be heavily Photoshopped to be funny. Sometimes they’re perfectly funny the way they are. Today is one of those days as the first photo leaks of Jake Gyllenhaal as the Prince of Persia. We all know video game movies have a tendency to, well… stink. Now, it appears that we have visual proof… (more…)

Man, Ubisoft are great at delaying things. Just a few days ago they announced that Sam Fisher’s next outing is delayed until next year (Ubisoft say the game’s doing great so I’m personally blaming Michael Ironside) and even just a couple of days ago said that the next installment of Brothers in Arms is being held off for a month until the end of September.

As if to maintain a consistent record of delaying things, Ubisoft have said that Tom Clancy’s HAWX will now be held off until next year as well. There, there, Dave.

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While my buddies, Doc and Dave are galavanting around Los Angeles, I was stuck here… playing Haze. I played it all the way through. I may be the only person at Sarcasticgamer.com that did play it all the way through. Well, here’s some breaking news: Haze sucks. Sucky, suck, suck, sucks.

Oh my god, Haze sucks. Let me count the ways, after the jump.

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Dave got some time with Prince of Persia, and reports in true Dave style on his in-depth impressions of Prince of Persia.

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Dave had a pilot epiphany as we got to see and play the multiplayer side of Tom Clancy’s Hawx. Dear God Dave.

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Reality shows have become a permanent fixture of American life. Everywhere you turn, it seems there is always another show trying to feed off the success of MTV’s “Real World” or CBS’ “Survivor.”

While reality televisions shows are extremely popular, they have yet to fully penetrate the realm of video games. There might be a few titles here and there, but the industry hasn’t seen the market saturation that currently makes television nearly unwatchable. However, I don’t expect it to stay this way forever. At least if Ubisoft has anything to say about it.

Hit the jump for Ubisoft’s next hot game. (more…)

As we reported on last week, a source very close to the Splinter Cell: Conviction project told us that Michael Ironside would not be back as Sam Fisher, marking the first change ever for the famous gun-toting agent.

This “rumor” took another small step towards getting its fact wings this morning as our source tells us, the issue at hand was an age-old problem. According to our source… (more…)

While we might be one of the tiniest gaming outlets on the Internet, we do have “people” all over the place, and one of those “people” brought us a very juicy tidbit this morning.

Word on the street is that Ubisoft has quietly axed Michael Ironside (Sam Fisher) from the voice cast of the next Splinter Cell installment, Splinter Cell: Conviction. According to our source, Ironside himself doesn’t even know this yet.

We can only speculate regarding the reason for this alleged impending dismissal. Voice guys are some of the easiest talent to work with, because you just bring them in, have them read their lines, and pay them. The latter step in the process could be the issue at hand, but there’s no way of knowing for sure, and I would be pretty floored to get a statement back from Ubisoft saying, “We couldn’t afford him.”

We emailed Ubisoft’s PR, and as of press time, we have… (more…)

Ubisoft has announced they are teaming with Allen Carr to bring Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking to a Nintendo DS near you. Yes, you read that right… replace that cigarette in your hand with a Nintendo DS in one hand and a stylus in the other and you’re halfway to quitting (and seriously, those things reek when set ablaze!) I don’t expect this move will go unanswered from the opposing team. Those tobacco moguls have a TON of money to blow on public image. They’ll probably spin this whole thing into some stylish grass-roots campaign of defiance. (more…)

Pop Quiz: What should you do if you make a game that breaks records and sets the bar so high that it will take another entire development cycle for game-makers to catch up? If you’re Activision’s marketing director David Tyler, you brag your ass off. Speaking of the enormous success of Call of Duty 4, Tyler spoke to trade magazine MCV, including some words that were probably not too well-received at EA or Ubisoft. (more…)

Can you feel it, console lovers? Can you feel the cold hard sting of yet another successful game treating its PC users to bonus content?

Ubisoft’s latest announcement for Assassin’s Creed PC details four bonus investigatory missions, as well as adding ‘Directors Cut’ to the title. The company thought about changing the subtitle to (more…)

Thought Crysis was too much for your dusty budget eMachine? Assassin’s Creed has come to steal the processor-melting crown, with it’s unbelievable system requirements:

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In light of the recent blurb from Electronic Gaming Monthly, Ubisoft has made the decision to fight back. Why pay off the real journalists when you can just create your own media source?

“Everyone knows gaming companies bribe news sources with information in exchange for a…more favorable viewpoint, ” said an Ubisoft PR Representative, “in this case we’ll just be cutting out the middleman.”

The print magazine will feature (more…)