First, as one of the few, the proud, and the sneaky to have played this game to the finish before the unwashed masses have gotten the chance to sully it with their grimy little paws, let me be absolutely crystal effin’ clear about how I feel:

Nyaaaaaaahhhhh, nyaaaaaaaaah.

Oh yeah baby, I’m rubbin’ it in.

Feels good.

Mmmmm, yeah.

*ahem*

Check out the full review, embargo be damned, after the jump!

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With GTA IV’s April 29th release date fast approaching, gamer anticipation and media coverage has already reached Halo 3 levels. The game seems primed to break previous sales records and give the anti-gaming establishment yet another far flung reason to hate on our chosen entertainment medium. The only major concern gamers have about the title is EA’s impending offer to acquire Take-Two. While EA’s purchase of the company would not directly harm the already finished game, EA fearing gamers are already wary of what the future may hold, for one of the most successful and popular franchises of all time.

Luckily, Take-Two shareholders have yet to buckle to EA pressure.

Find out all the details after the jump!

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Close friends of Take Two indicate that they believe Take Two is pregnant, and that they believe that EA is the father.

CLOSE FRIEND: Take Two’s always had this emotional issue where she was worried about what people thought and if she was as good as EA. I think EA took advantage of that, and tried to screw her through the floor.

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It’s a recession here in the US of A and that means belt-tightening times for many Americans. Less money for frivolous expenditures like say… video games and consoles. It also means that the value of companies that sell those games can take quite a dip, if forecast revenues don’t measure up to reality. This isn’t a bad situation to be in if you’ve been saving trillions of pennies to buy one of those companies. You get where I’m going with this? Hang in there… (more…)