I got this from a new friend of the show, Chuck.  Aparrently Chuck had a little time on his hands and decided to animate some SG podcast in the Half-Life world.  Too funny.  I especially like the “Lono” character model.

Ah super hero toys. I remember the days of the Secret Wars action figures and batman toys. And that was just last week! Ba dum dum. Anyway, a couple of days ago, one toy in particular caught my eye, but not in a good way.

Who thinks this stuff up and how the hell did it ever make it to a toy store?

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Rothbart vs. Lono

Rothbart: Great single player games are a dying breed…and I’m pissed!

If you look at the big releases as of late, you might notice more and more of them seem to be pushing (or focusing entirely) on the multiplayer aspect; be it online multiplayer on the 360 or local multiplayer on the Wii. Even some of the highest profile PS3 games that have been single player have been released with disclaimers along the lines of “We wanted to focus first and foremost on the single player in this game, we’ll pursue multiplayer in our next title”. So I ask, why?! Why should releasing a top-notch single player game need any form of disclaimer or apology? There were several high profile games this year that were single player only such as BioShock, Ratchet & Clank Future, Heavenly Sword, Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, and Assassin’s Creed, just to name a few. One of the key features I love about these single player experiences is that I know I’m absolutely never going to run into smack talking 12 year-olds ruining any immersion or escape the game might bring to my otherwise reality-based life.

More Rothbart v. Lono, after the jump!

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Why the hell did I spend sixty bucks on Halo 3, when I could have used the money to buy the Orange Box? What the heck was Bungie doing for three years?

I’ve been playing Half-Life2: Episode 2 for three days straight. Mind you, this is only one fifth of the game, but in my humble opinion, it is my single player game of the year…so far. Yep, better than Bioshock and it makes Halo 3 look like Perfect Dark Zero. What the heck was Bungie doing for three years? (more…)

I’m a huge Half-Life fan. If you’ve listened to our podcasts, I’ve pretty much compared every shooter we’ve ever talked about to either Half-Life or Half-Life 2. I believe that Half-Life 2 is the greatest pc shooter ever. The original Half-Life was great in it’s own right. It spawned Team Fortress, Counterstrike and basically the whole mod movement. Half-Life 2 not only improved on the original in terms of gameplay with the introduction of the gravity gun, which is still copied ad nauseum, but it improved on the narrative as well.  Then came Half-Life 2: Episode 1, which was also great for what it was, but now…

Enter Half-Life2: Episode 2. On the PC, er, I mean the Xbox 360.

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On Saturday, I was catching up on my tivo’d Heroes episodes, when I heard the mail slot by my front door open. Like a Pavlovian Dog, as soon as I heard that mail slot sound, I shut down the tv and raced to the mailbox. I was salivating like the big bad wolf going to a pig roast! Sure enough, my white and orange mailer arrived. It wasn’t a red ryder BB gun, but it was the next best thing: The Orange Box! It’s safe to say that I spent the rest of my free time that day playing Team Fortress 2.

Team Fortress 2: What I love and hate about the game after the jump.

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By Lono

Well, the Crysis system requirements came out this week and boy, oh boy, I could not care less. Did ya see those reqirements? Excuse me while I call MIT to see if I can borrow their super computer. Anyone know the phone number for Deep blue? This game would make my current rig melt. To China.

I don’t want to go to China.

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by Doc and Lono
SOURCE: CVG; Joystiq

The Good News:

Kane and Lynch, the multiplatform release due in late November, has revealed what sounds like more fun than a weekend in Amsterdam. It’s a new multiplayer concept called “Fragile Alliance.”

Imagine, you’re doing a bank heist with up to 8 other players. The GOAL is to get out of the bank with as much money as possible. You’ll need your teammates to pull off the job, but you also want their money. So, you know you’re going to have to take out the others, but the question is … when? Blast your pals to kingdom come too soon, and you’ll be tagged as a traitor and will certainly be cut to ribbons in a hail of gunfire from your fellow teammates. Plus you’ll be outgunned when the cops show up. Wait too long to do the job, and you’re likely to take a slug to the spleen while your teammate escapes with YOUR loot. Decisions, decisions….

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By Lono

Breaking news! This just in from Sarcastic Gamer News! We have a HUGE Exclusive that nobody else has, because it’s exclusively exclusive to Sarcastic Gamer.

Guess What?

Bungie just left Microsoft. BAM! I’m just putting it right out there for you. Digest it. Swish that around in your mouth like fresh Hooch on a Friday night in the Dorms… They’re gone.

Yeah, um so they left Microsoft. So, that’s huge right? It’s like a big deal or something. Right?

Because…..

Oh yeah, Halo 3 is so huge right now. Huge! That means that if Bungie is leaving Microsoft, then it’s huge news because Bungie made Halo, just in case you didn’t know. They. Made. Halo. So, then this news must be huge! Huge! Huh?

Why?

I dunno. Do you? Unless you own stock in Bungie, or work for Bungie, this isn’t gonna change your life, contrary to what most gaming news outlets would have you believe.

Don’t believe the hype.

Bungie still basically works for Microsoft. Bungie will still publish their games through Microsoft Game Studios and Microsoft still holds the “long term publishing rights” to Bungie games. The only thing that’s gonna change, if anything, is that Microsoft will unleash Halo Armageddon on everyone. You’ll see more Halo games coming out for the 360 than Naruto games for the DS!

You thought Nintendo was milking Mario? Just wait for the Microsoft/Halo onslaught to begin. A Halo onslaught will make Microsoft’s game division profitable. Microsoft will make sure of it. There’s gonna be a Halo 4, Halo 5, Halo 6, spin-off games, Halo Wars 2 through 10, Halo cartoons, more of Halo everything. Microsoft is gonna milk this sacred cow for all its worth. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a bunch of Cortana games.

Cortana’s Extreme Volleyball anyone?

In the meantime, Bungie’s going to go… make something… not Halo related? That sounds cool. I guess? Gamers, forget all of this crap and go back to finding that last skull that gets you the ninja helmet in Halo. Dang, that skull is hard to find.

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by Lono

Something is coming to Sarcastic Gamer. It’s gonna debut on Wednesday.

It will be big.

Find out more tomorrow at 11am cst!!!

by Dave

Lono has decided that the rest of Sarcasticgamer is holding him back and is keeping him from reaching his full potential.

Like Michael Jackson, Phil Collins and Chechnya before him, he has decided to leave the group. We wish him the very best as the new sole founder of ThisIsLono.com, your only source for “All Lono All The Time.”

Doc commented, “Meh, one monkey doesn’t stop the show, somehow we will survive in world without Lono.”

Next week will be our first official week that has 99% less Lono.

What will we do without Halo bashing, “the bottom line”, and Lono’s promotional tour? We’re not sure yet, but we’ll get by.

Sarcasticgamer.com will be holding open tryouts for Lono’s replacement starting on Wednesday of next week. Remember you have to be active on the forums, edit everyone’s articles, write your own articles, set up Sarcastic Gaming Nights, be knowledgeable for the podcast, do the SG Podcast, do other site’s podcasts, and be the biggest A-hole in the world… all for free. Actually, you’ll need to help pay for stuff, too.

Are you America’s Next Top Lono? Go to the forums and get some.

by Lono

In Sarcastic Gamer News this week…

Nintendo’s Stock hit an all time high today! In celebration, Nintendo bought Japan. Literally. Claiming that they’ve “owned” Japan for some time, Nintendo put its money where its mouth is and bought Japan out right for 3 trillion dollars in a blockbuster deal. As a result, Nintendo immediately changed the name of the country to the Mushroom Kingdom and renamed it’s Prime Minister, Koopa.

In other news….

The Tri-Star Leger Newspaper in Rock Island, Illinois uncovered quite the discovery. It seems that Brock Brockerson of Rock Island is the sole owner of the last unbroken Xbox 360. The Microsoft made gaming console went through a rash of repair work as the summer heated up, but the consoles failed to cool off. After a long search for the only pristine Xbox 360 in the USA, Brockerson came forward with his startling tale.

“I just got it a week ago, so I’m expecting the worst. The good news is that during that time, I’ve already beaten Halo 3! Dang that game was short.”

Across the globe….

Sony cancels Christmas! A French gaming magazine indicated this week that Sony was set to unveil a “Big Bang” style announcement on October 12th. Since that time, speculation has surrounded the pricing of their current next-generation gaming console the PS3. Under the weight of gamers’ anticipation, Sony released their official statement early and said:

“At this point, with GTA IV, Unreal Tournament III and the delays of dozens of other titles, Sony has decided to postpone all gaming titles until after Christmas.”

This announcement came as a shock to one gaming analyst, “What! That is bull$#!t! Great, just great…. Another three months of Motorstorm.”

That’s it for this week in Sarcastic Gamer News. Next week:

• Bungie joins Nintendo to make the next Diddy Kong Racing game for the Wii.
• Psychonauts to be remade for the next generation of consoles and once again, no one will buy it!
• Shock! Madden to release a Madden Football in 2009!

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by Lono

Friday night at 10 pm cst is the night for another Halo 3 edition of Sarcastic Gaming Night. This week we have a special treat for you. Doc will be hosting the match on a very special map called “Sandblast” that Doc and Dave made that is a lot of fragging fun.

You know the drill. If you want to play, put your gamertag in the post. Posts without gamertags will not be considered.

If you signed up to play last week and didn’t show, well, you’ll be at the end of the line. Sorry guys.

Lets race to the sniper rifle on Friday!

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