As a tri-console owner, meaning that I own an Xbox 360, PS3, and a Wii, I feel like I’m getting the best of every world. For those that haven’t picked up a “next-gen” console or “current-gen” for all of you “gen” snobs, you may want to know what the heck you’re getting yourself into.

So, here I am to save the day. Click the jump to learn everything you’ll ever need to know about being an Xbox 360 owner. Check back next week so I can prepare you for your Sony and Nintendo Experiences.

Enjoy!

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Reggie Fils-Aime’s secret stock of Wii’s was located early this morning by an elite group of Soccer Moms. The Fils-Aime compound was full of life as authorities raided his Wii fortress. They discovered millions of brand new Wiis in an underground lair beneath the estate in a hollowed out volcano in an island off the coast of Japan. (more…)

Last week, I was a party to what amounted to EA bashing on Episode 12. I could have stuck up for the company when Lono called EA the right hand of doom or whatever it was, but I didn’t.

Why? Well it’s kinda like parachute pants and cabbage patch dolls. Bashing Electronic Arts is the cool thing to do. My partners in crime here at Sarcastic Gamer, myself included, are all guilty of what essentially amounts to a dog pile onto one of the largest video game publishers and developers in the history of the medium.

Peruse a few gaming sites, including Sarcastic Gamer, and you’ll find a lot of EA bashing. From the frame rate on Madden for the PS3, to the recent acquisition of Bioware and Pandemic. People love to throw rocks at the biggest target in gaming. The Question is whether all of this harsh criticism is really deserved? (more…)

by Lono

Remember Michael Vick? One time prodigy at the Quarterback position for the Atlanta Falcons? Ran really fast. Was a fifty percent passer. First Quarterback to rush for 1,000 yards in a season. Took team to the NFC Championship in his second year. Oh yeah, he ran really fast.

No? Me neither.

Apparently EA has issued an update to Madden ‘08 that includes a roster update that effectively wipes Vick from the Falcons. Too bad for Atlanta fans. He was the only reason to play as that team at all and I’m sure Madden fans will miss his scampering antics….

Wait. No scratch that last thought. He killed a bunch of dogs with his bare hands. He ran a dog breeding business that was nothing more than a front to obtain dogs to kill in a shadowy arena in the backwoods for a couple of extra bucks that he didn’t need. Vick was and still is a piece of crap.

Good Riddance. For once, EA did something morally right. Besides, I still have Vince Young, so I’m all good.

Want to attempt to defend keeping Vick in the game? Take a moment and join the Sarcastic Gamer forums and sound off, but prepare to be flamed!!! Already a member? Discuss this topic now.

By Dave

EA games have announced that they added a few new unlockable features in Madden ’08. These are in addition to the superb graphics and excellent game play that no one else can match because EA owns the NFL gaming rights. This year they have used the rights to the fullest to give the Maddenites a more realistic NFL experience. New in ’08:

• Streaking Fans.
• Maternity suits
• Divorce Court
• Dog Fighting
• Strip Clubs
• Murder (only at strip clubs)
• Assault (again, only at strip clubs)
• Drugs (once again… well you know… strip clubs)
• The triumphant return of drunken Pat Summeral!

EA hopes that all who buy this game love it for its realism and not for its attempted monopoly of the sports gaming industry, but if you buy All-Star Football 2K8, they hope you die in a fiery car crash.

EA Games… It’s In The Game!

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Photo and Commentary by Lono all rights reserved

SOURCE: Maxconsole.net

Even if you live under a rock, you know that Madden ‘08 shipped on Tuesday, for every console ever made, including the Atari 2600. And yes, that version sucks. What you may not know is that the versions released on the PS3 and Xbox 360 are quite different.

You see, the PS3 version sucks, while the 360 version sucks a little less.

EA Sports attempted to explain the suckiness to Maxconsole.net. Rob M., an EA Sports senior technical support director said that they’ve just had more time with the 360 and that they have only been developing games for the PS3 for over a year. As for the PS3 he said:

“The differences in the overall knowledge of the hardware is vastly different for both consoles and, as is the case with newer technology, it is very difficult to get it right the first time.”

Um, didn’t they put out a Madden ‘07 for the PS3…. a year ago? So this would be the second try? Just askin…

That’s a tough pill to swallow for PS3 owners who generally bought the system because the specs were better than the 360, among other reasons.

How does EA Sports feel about your decision not to purchase the inferior PS3 version? The same guy said:

“If you choose not to purchase the game, it is a choice I fully understand and respect. “

So basically he said, why do I give a crap which copy you buy, as long as you buy a copy? He knows that the game will sell, regardless of how sucky it is, because of fanboys. Yeah, I said it.

EA Sports, your explanation sucks, your PS3 game sucks and you suck. Sucky, suck, suck, suck!

Want to let EA Sports know how much they suck? Head over to our FORUMS and sound off!Please note that it may take up to 15 minutes for a new article to arrive on the forums

Commentary by Matt Schmidt

You may have seen these new commercials springing up on testosterone channels such as ESPN, SpikeTV, G4TV, and Oxygen, detailing macho men and their quests to become the ultimate Madden football champion. If you haven’t, there is always the official Maddenite website.

It was once my life goal to master superstar mode and quarterback vision. Now, with the release of Madden ’08, I get to have key “weapon” players, and use these weapons (in addition to their lacking counterparts) to build up virtual achievements in my virtual “Trophy Room”. One can only dream of being able to virtually spit-shine my “Greatest Player Ever” plaque.

But how do YOU become a Maddenite? Follow these three simple steps.

1. Memorize the date August 14th release date. Etch it forever into your skull. Every August 14th thereafter, you must sacrifice a small mammal.
2. Get racially diverse friends. Racially diverse meaning Caucasian or African American. You *can* have Asian friends, but it’s similar to Y being a vowel. Use sparingly.



3. Buy the game for all 9 platforms it’s being released on. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen 2008 on a Gamecube.

Now, who’s up to run the virtual 40-yard dash with me?

Are you a Maddenite? Head over to our FORUMS and tell us why, god, why!

Photo and Commentary by Lono
all rights reserved
SOURCE: Gamasutra

EA’s CEO John Riccitiello, in a teleconference with shareholders, discussed rival football game All-Pro Football 2K8. As you may know, All-Pro Football 2K8 is the first football game produced by Take Two’s 2K Sports since 2005, when EA secured an exclusivity agreement with the NFL. In a bold move, Take Two made exclusive deals with recently retired players such as Jerry Rice and Troy Aikmen among others, to be included in the game.Specifically, Riccitiello stated:

“When you’ve got a competitor like Take-Two on the sports side, and they launch a football title using some of the industry legends, you want to make sure that ends up being a blip and is not repeatable, because we like to defend our franchises aggressively.”

He then said that their plan was to go to every Wal-Mart in the country and draw frowny faces on every All-Pro Football game in stock!

Defend your franchise aggressively? What is this guy talking about? They’ve put out the same game every year since the graphics went 3D twenty freaking years ago. Save your hit stick and quarterback vision comments, fanboys….

I haven’t played a good football video game since 2k5 and until something changes, IMO, EA is just defending mediocrity.

Tell us how much Madden “rulez” on our FORUMS!

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