I got this from a new friend of the show, Chuck.  Aparrently Chuck had a little time on his hands and decided to animate some SG podcast in the Half-Life world.  Too funny.  I especially like the “Lono” character model.

After the blistering success of E for All, the gaming convention created to help bring an E3-style event back to the everyday Joe, IDG World Expo ended weeks of speculation with two announcements. First, they’ve set the date of next year’s E for All event, August 28-30, 2008.

“We saw more than 18, 000 gaming enthusiasts, which is a fantastic number for a first-year event,” said event organizer Greg Oshman. “Especially when you consider the fact that there wasn’t really anything there to see. No Microsoft, No Sony. Just people walking around an empty expo center. If they’ll come out for that? Shoot! Imagine if we actually got exhibitors!”

Then, Oshman made it official, confirming the rumor that IDG would also bring a gaming convention to the southern United States.

“Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, West Virginia, all of these states are grossly under-represented at gaming conventions. So, we’re proud to announce a revolutionary new event, designed specifically for these proud southerners.” (more…)

by Doc and Lono
SOURCE: CVG; Joystiq

The Good News:

Kane and Lynch, the multiplatform release due in late November, has revealed what sounds like more fun than a weekend in Amsterdam. It’s a new multiplayer concept called “Fragile Alliance.”

Imagine, you’re doing a bank heist with up to 8 other players. The GOAL is to get out of the bank with as much money as possible. You’ll need your teammates to pull off the job, but you also want their money. So, you know you’re going to have to take out the others, but the question is … when? Blast your pals to kingdom come too soon, and you’ll be tagged as a traitor and will certainly be cut to ribbons in a hail of gunfire from your fellow teammates. Plus you’ll be outgunned when the cops show up. Wait too long to do the job, and you’re likely to take a slug to the spleen while your teammate escapes with YOUR loot. Decisions, decisions….

(more…)

by Doc

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By all measures, our most popular parody song to date has to be “How You Killed Your Brand”, a parody of The Fray’s “How To Save A Life.” Having enflamed more than 2 million Ps3 users worldwide by way of various fan-created videos, we’ve decided that its time for an officially-sanctioned SarcasticGamer.com production.

This song was written at a time when the PS3 was going through one of its several “rough patches.” While some of its chief complaints have been addressed since then, it’s still a timeless reminder of what a wacky ride Sony has had with it’s Next Gen console.

We’ve must admit, we’re pretty proud of the work done by our very own MFreakinJ. He’s raised the bar to a whole new level with this production. We feel…. all official and stuff. GREAT JOB MJ!

Ladies and Gentleman, without further ado, the official Sarcastic Gamer parody video, for How To Kill Your Brand. Starring M Freakin J, and sung by Jeromy “Doc” Adams.

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by Jeromy “Doc” Adams

Gamers live a rough life. Many of us juggle full time jobs, kids, wives, and home maintenance, while constantly in search of time to get our game on. The last thing on anybody’s mind is food. I’ve found myself in a near glucose-deprived coma from gaming too long without sustenance.

The Sarcastic Gamer Cookbook is full of easy, fast recipes that you can whip up in under 5 minutes. With easy concoctions like these, you’ll be back in front of the TV before you miss a single frag, with enough energy to game the night away.

Doc’s Peanut Butter Frag Bananas

Ingredients:

1/2 cup of Peanut butter
1 hot dog bun
Lots of Sugar
An apple

Mix the peanut butter with sugar until it’s not sticky anymore. Open the hot dog bun and spread the mixture into the crease. Peel a banana and stick it on top of the Peanut butter mixture. Eat all at once, or in segments, while waiting for respawn. Beverage HIGHLY recommended.

Tastes Great with:
Halo 3
Rainbow 6 Vegas
Resistance: Fall of Man

Not ideal for:
Driving Games
Games that require lots of talking

Do you have a favorite gaming snack? Send it to us! If we use your recipe, you’ll be entered to win a quarterly drawing for a free t-shirt.

Sarcastic Gamer Cookbook Rules:

• Your recipe must contain no more than 4 ingredients, and must be easily prepared within 5 minutes.
• It can contain ZERO retarded ingredients like “lemon zest” or “ground cumin”. Use stuff that most people have laying around the house.
• Gamers must be able to eat your creation with one hand. (sorry soups are out)
• Any recipes submitted become the property of Sarcastic Gamer.
• Give your recipe a creative gaming-related name.
• You must include a photo of your little treat.

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Ready to share your recipe ideas? Collaborate on our forums.

by Doc

Required Reading:
Kountdown to Katamari 21 days
Kountdown to Katamari 19 days
Kountdown to Katamari 11 days

A week from today, I’m going to get “sick.” I’ll be calling in to work, reporting some strange stomach bug. I will throw granola bars and pudding at my kids to make them leave me alone. That morning, you won’t find me playing some lame FPS with 90 zillion possible game modes. I won’t be guiding an Italian plumber past evil koopahs.

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by Doc

In yet another round of litigious angst, gaming opponent and sue-happy attorney Jack Thompson, has filed a lawsuit against Valve, claiming that the “Orange Box” misleads parents and endangers children. I caught up with Thompson via telephone, earlier today.

The so-called “Orange Box” is so generic and unassuming, that it masks the violence and filth that lies beneath. Parents might mistake it for a children’s game. I mean it looks like MS Word. What we are seeking is an injunction against Valve, a full recall, and a package that isn’t so….. damned boring.

Thompson went on to tell me, that if I didn’t like it, I could “go perform an anatomically impossible task upon myself.” Our Sarcastic Gamer attorneys have been placed on high alert.

Who should Jack sue next? Tell him on our forums. Not a member? Take just a moment and join now!

“We’re not going to lie to you”, “The Bottom Line is” In this episode Lono talked about:

• Lono Congratulates WiC winners
• Keeping up with Lono
• Lono’s take on the Nintendo shortages
• Lono and the gang on cheating in games
• Lono loves Halo Jesus
• Lono was there when Alex discussed fighting games
• One minute of uninterrupted Lono (several actually)
• Lono vs Dave on Princess Bride
• One minute of uninterrupted Dave (No Lono, sorry)
• Lono’s appearance in a big new video
• Thank you’s (from everyone and Lono)
• Lono likes “Dave Take Us Out”
• Dave takes a cheap shot at Lono.

We’d prefer to have you SUBSCRIBE to our podcast! Download the mp3 RIGHT HERE.

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by Doc

Namco Bandai, woke up this morning to some news that they were not expecting. The ESRB, the entity tasked with rating video games for consumers consumption in the US, has issued an AO rating for Beautiful Katamari.

Morgan Hedberg, spokeswoman for the ESRB:

We cannot in good conscience issue any rating for this title, except an AO. Most people think that just because there’s no violence or neck-hole humping, that a game is automatically safe for children. But after searching this game from top to bottom, and finding literally zero redeeming value, we decided that AO was the only possible way to go. I mean, how can we look at ourselves in the mirror, knowing we unleashed such an empty title on children. If we can keep just one child from playing this game and thinking that its the best that gaming has to offer, we’ve done our job.

Did they even listen to the Soundtrack? I mean seriously, it’s not just about rolling a ball around a poorly rendered environment. It’s about rolling a ball around a poorly rendered environment with GREAT SOUND! Gaw!

We were well prepared for this turn of events. We understand the ESRB’s position, and while we do not agree with it, we have decided to implement our backup plan, and add “math” to the game. In the Gold version, players are presented with a math problem, and then challenged to roll around our poorly rendered environments until they find the correct answer. It will take us about 5 minutes to add to the game, so there will be no delay in release.

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If the tension in the gaming community got any thicker, we’d all be breathing Porterhouse steaks. We’re almost within 10 days of the release of Beautiful Katamari for the Xbox 360. Personally, it’s getting hard to concentrate on anything anymore. Yesterday, I made a tape ball and rolled up all of the pens and paper clips on my desk. My wife says I’m very 2D lately. The kids are getting sick of playing “Steamroller.”

A fellow member of the “Katamari Nation” told me that CNN was doing a story about video games last night. I tuned in, because I was sure that they would show some exclusive new footage of BK, or an expose’ on the brilliant games being developed at Namco Bandai. Sadly, it was some lame filler piece about Halo 3 and how it has sold more copies than anything else in … blah blah blah.

Halo fans all over the world are going to get a real wakeup call on October 15th, when Beautiful Katamari descends upon us all. Who in their right mind is going to be flying Hornet VTOL’s and designing their own exciting levels in the Forge, when instead they could be rolling a ball through more than 5 different 2D environments with good sound.

I went into Gamestop last night to check on my pre-order. I just wanted to make sure they didn’t lose it. The jerk behind the counter acted like I was from outer space.

“For the 5th time, YES! We have your preorder, paid in full,” he practically shouted at me. I thought maybe he was just having a bad day, so I let that slide. “Besides, nobody else is ordering the game, so you really didn’t have to pre-order at all.”

That did it. I lit into him like Lindsay Lohan in a room full of heroin. I informed him that he was obviously not following gaming at all. I also told him that many Beautiful Katamari fans are out with a cold, and will be in to pre-order their copies as soon as they feel better.

Then I caught him in a lie. “Is there a collector’s edition of the game, or any special bundle?” I asked.

“No dude. It’s just a game,” he replied.

“Are you sure there isn’t a bundle or something? Maybe a nice tin with a ball in it?” I pressed him like I was starring in “The Closer.” He cracked.

“No man… Oh yeah I forgot. There’s the DOUBLE edition, where you get two copies of the game,” he admitted. Why was he hiding this from me?

“How much?” I asked.

“It’s only 40 bucks more,” he answered.

So needless to say I pre-ordered the double edition of Beautiful Katamari, and left Gamestop feeling victorious. I just don’t get these people that continue to try and deny the impact that Beautiful Katamari is going to have on gaming! I mean, what the hell? Do you know of any OTHER gaming franchises that give you so much ball rolling in one title? No.

—–EDIT: The bastard at Gamestop just called. As it turns out he was not being honest with me about the Beautiful Katamari:Double Edition. Frickin jerk. Turns out it’s actually a TRIPLE edition. I told the little punk that I’d be by the store after work to drop off another 40 bucks. The nerve of some people.

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by Doc

Everybody on Bloombury Lane has had enough of their neighbor, Fred Fuller, and his Nintendo Wii. It seems that ever since the 40 year old Fuller, bought the apparatus at a local Gamestop, he’s been hounding his neighbors to come over and play. Frustrated Resident, Chad Gooding:

At first it was cool, we’d all get drunk and go Wii bowling over at Fred’s. But now, every time we’re sitting in the driveway, having a beer, Fred’s like ‘Hey Let’s go to my house and play some Wii.’ It’s annoying as sh**.

Fellow resident, Ricky Green, shared the sentiment.

I just want to say to him, ‘Dude! You’ve got a Wii. We get it. So what? Not everything we do has to involve your Wii.’ But you know, I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Oblivious to the negative feedback, Fuller was more than happy to show me his setup.

I’m like the most popular dude on the street. Me and my broes just like kickin it and drinkin a cold one while we bowl. I practically have force them to leave. they love it so much.

Fuller went on to say that after an evening of beverages and Wii bowling, his neighbors are just totally worn out.

I barely even see those guys for weeks after an all night session. They are such wusses!

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by Jeromy “Doc” Adams

Inspired by: CNN

Rampant cheating on PC games is turning off more gamers than a Rosie O’Donnell swimsuit calendar. It’s why I stopped playing most PC games in the first place. Before you start looking for my golden halo, I have to confess something that I have carried around for years.

I have cheated at video games.

There, I said it. Guilty, your honor. I feel whole again.

Back when CounterStrike ruled my life, I was plagued with (gasp) dial-up for several months due to some geographic issues. My ping SUCKED. I was getting pwnd at every turn. I wasn’t having fun. Then I discovered the magic of Aimbot. It’s a month of my life that I’m not too proud of, but it was mad fun. I cheated and I griefed. When PunkBuster caught up with my Aimbot, I tried to play without it, and realized I was even worse than when I started using it. Even when my Internet situation got ironed out, I still couldn’t play anymore. I had RUINED Counterstrike for myself. What’s worse, is that I probably ruined it for several other people in the process. I swore off cheating, and without realizing it, began my departure from PC Gaming.

Enter PS2. My PS2 was a dream come true for me. I loved that freaking console. One of my favorite games to play online was Tribes: Aerial Assault (one of the most under rated PS2 games ever in my humble opinion). I’m a Tribes fan from way back, and it was so nice to finally have the game on a relatively cheat-free console. Right? Sort of.

The problem with playing games on the PS2 versus the Xbox at the time, was that any doofus with a 2400 band modem and a network adapter could play online. In Tribes:AA, a bad ping actually equaled a BETTER score. You literally warped all over the place, in the eyes of those with good connections, an impossible target at times.

Was it cheating? Probably not. But it was still unfair, frustrating, and a turn-off. Sony’s hands-off “free love” attitude to online gaming was admirable, but unproductive. It still is.

Enter Xbox-Live. With the simple mandate that everyone have at least a DSL connection, the aforementioned issue with bad pings, faded to just an occasional annoyance. Cheating was vanquished forever. Right?

It depends on how you define cheating. If you define it as screwing with code or software to give yourself an unfair advantage, okay. But there’s another form of cheating, that is a bit more innocent at first glance, but can have equally devastating consequences to a game’s online playability.

Glitching…… is cheating.

Ever played Battlefield 2: Modern Combat (BF2) on Xbox (original)? If you played online for any amount of time, you most likely ran up on one of the rocket-surgeons who had discovered the wide array of glitches, that allowed players to fall through the map, or into walls. They then became invisible to other players, impervious to attack (the walls shielded them) but they could see out and FIRE out. It became rampant. My favorite game was ruined. Just as much by the people that glitched, as by Electronic Arts’ refusal to address the issue.

Unless they literally did not EVER play their own game online, there is no way that they didn’t know about the problem. It was freaking everywhere.

So why did they choose to ignore the cheating and bring us yet another map pack, full of exploitable desks? (inside joke for BF2 players)

I submit to you that console developers undervalue the effect that cheating has on their franchises.

While PC developers like Blizzard, spend a lot of money and manpower, trying to keep their games as cheat-free as possible, console developers seem to have a “fire and forget” attitude. Patching games is expensive, time consuming, and not really profitable in a direct sense. Blizzard’s World of Warcraft makes money on monthly subscriptions, so they have an incentive to keep players happy.

But there is an incentive for console developers as well. It’s called reputation. Street cred. “Your good name.”

Bungie is notoriously wonderful about supporting their games after release. Seems like they were still fixing things with Halo 2, well into the Halo 3 development cycle. They listen, and openly communicate with their players. The result is obvious. $170 MILLION dollars on the first day of Halo3’s release.

People buy from Bungie, because they TRUST Bungie. They know that by buying a Bungie title, they are assured a quality product, with support and upgrades for the full life cycle of the game. They were, whether consciously or not, buying BUNGIE.

I’m not beating up on EA here. I know from talking to many of their people how committed they are to bringing the best games possible to fruition. They aren’t “evil people,” but BF2 was the biggest heartbreak of my console life thus far.

I am happy to say that the incidence of glitching on the next gen consoles seems to be waning. With the exception of the occasional goober on R6:Vegas, who learned to climb the rail and get on top of the roof on the Calypso Casino, I really haven’t seen as much glitching.

With that said, there are still sound principles that more developers should adopt.

If you make a game, support that game after it goes gold. Patch it. Get involved. Find out what’s going wrong in online play, and fix it. Penalize cheaters. Make cheating as risky as possible. Ban consoles. Make a name for yourself as a game provider that KEEPS PROVIDING long-after the game has moved to the “Platinum Hits” status.

Developers should realize, or be made to realize with your gaming dollar, that the gaming experience does not end at the moment I plop down my 70 dollars for a new game

It ends when I stop playing that game.

Developers should recognize yet another form of cheating. When you ignore the cheating, YOU become the cheater.

Now some questions for you.

1. Have you seen a reduction in cheating with the newer consoles?
2. Are you a PC Gamer who’s had it with cheating?
3. Do you think it’s a non-issue?
4. What publisher/developers do you think do the best job of supporting their titles after release? The worst?

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