Name: Eoco Country: The land of crumpets, where tea precipitation and monocle hail are quite common. Some say that (from above) this magical place has the appearance of an asparagus-colored patchwork quilt. Others do not. What do you do on the site? When not hastily answering emails, or alienating the Sarcastic Gamer readership with sesquipedalian posts, Eoco edits all articles that go on the site (along with his co-editor, Yamster) and writes about himself in the third person at every opportunity. He has a bothersome habit of starting new 'regular' columns that are in nowayregular, and wrote the Sarcastic Gamer 'About' page. Oh, and he adores parentheses (seriously, he loves them!) Consoles Owned: Xbox 360, Playstation 3, Wii, Playstation 2, Nintendo DS, Playstation Portable, iPhone Introduce yourself, go! Wow, this question certainly puts me under a lot of pressure! Why did it feel the need to employ such discourteous interrogating techniques like a monosyllabic 'go' and stern exclamation mark? Personified punctuation aside, I am a video game and gadget nerd who spends his time regretting the vast amount of internet browsing he did the previous day. I still remember cheat codes to games I haven't owned for years, and am currently engaged in an achievement war that can only be described as unhealthy. I also look like an elf. What do you do in your freetime? When not doing the things mentioned above, you will most likely find me in the corner of a room at a 'social event' craning my neck for a power outlet, at which I can continue the things mentioned above. Hook slide? Yes. Very yes.
Not really! We just used that overly controversial headline, that doesn’t really relate to this article in any meaningful sense (despite the veritable surplus of reputation-ruining exclamation points!), to … well, in all honesty, it was mainly just so we could use that exclamation point gag. Which wasn’t really a gag now we think about [...]
Whilst trudging one of the Eurogamer Expo’s many well-carpeted corridors (seriously, these carpets are plush!), we passed a screen showing Avatar: The Game in three dee! Fascinated by the large, JVC, coruscating display we decided to wander over in hope of having our minds utterly blown. As we carried out the aforementioned wandering, we heard [...]
Modern shooters position you, the player, in one of two positions: inside the poor protagonists orbital bone, or so far away from the aforementioned orbital bone that every bone in the human (or otherwise) body can be seen. These two positions are commonly referred to as ‘first’ and ‘third’ person perspectives. Now I don’t know [...]
The bounty of fun, little games found upon the ethereal e-shelves of the Xbox Live Arcade are, uh, fun and little. Most relish the opportunity to slump down in front of their Xbox 360, after a hard day’s work, and unwind with a relaxing bout of their favorite Arcade title. Whether it’s Feeding Frenzy, or [...]
The answer to that question was “no”. Well, not quite a ‘no no’ if you no (hah!) what I mean. More of a ‘yes no’. Or a ‘no yes’. A ‘yo’ or ‘nes’ if deplorable portmanteau words were to be used. Pathetic nomenclature-related jokes aside, Microsoft have got a cracking deal for you eager Xbox [...]
Sometimes the things that happen behind the scenes, here at Sarcastic gamer, are pretty interesting… Okay, so they’re not that interesting, but they are funny… Fine, they’re not particularly funny either, but they are … a form of content? Yeah, that’ll do! After a number of not-interesting-or-funny emails, it was suggested that we should [...]
Everyday for the next, uh … how many staff do we have, again? Right, there are twenty-one of these staff bio-things, so that means this will run for, erm, twenty-one days? No, wait, that’s including weekends. Well, without weekends, it would be … carry the two, add five … more than six days! Eureka! Yes, [...]
Name: Eoco