GT5 disappoints due to being “only a racing game”

November 23rd, 2010 at 3:00 pm · 70 Comments

Game journalists from all ends of the blogosphere today expressed their disdain at brand new racing title Gran Turismo 5 being simply a videogame about driving cars, rather than the second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ as was initially predicted. Across Twitter many of the greatest gaming journos lamented that the most-anticipated racer of 2010 was in fact…just a racer.

Gran Turismo 5, which launches in the UK and US tomorrow, is already in the hands of many gaming writers across the world, who are toiling endlessly to ensure they have reviews of the game written up for 8am tomorrow morning, when the embargo of game coverage lifts.

However, this has not stopped some writers from voicing their personal opinions of the game on microblogging social site Twitter, with the majority of Tweets criticising every last minor fault with the game such as loading times and the lack of multiplayer due to the servers not actually being live.

One anonymous tipster went as far as to say that the game’s mere inclusion of just 1000 cars is not enough, nor is the positively life-sapping GT Mode, featuring countless races, driving challenges and in-depth car porn Photo Mode.

Frankly, our tipster has a point. Who are development team Polyphony Digital to deliver merely a racing game after four years which probably does a ridiculously good job of simulating driving your average gearhead’s fantasy garage while looking bedazzlingly pretty and consuming the life of anyone who dares to try out the GT Mode?

In the end, GT5 evidently hasn’t done enough to please the gaming writer elite. It should make us breakfast, dispense compliments on our choices of tie and come with several real cars to be good enough.

I mean, it’s not like we overhyped it or anything.

Gran Turismo 5 will be reviewed by Sarcastic Gamer by the end of the weekend.




Related posts:

  1. A Guide To Smack Talk, Featuring WRC
  2. Which Racing game will you buy this Christmas?
  3. E3 09 Hands On: Gran Turismo PSP
  4. Gran Turismo TV includes Desperate Housewives
  5. WRC in Gran Turismo 5? Nobody told these guys.

Tags: ·
Categories: Editorial · Fiction Friday · PlayStation 3

  • Richienorfolk

    Personally I think the inclusion of a zombie mode would have kept everyone happy.

    • http://www.sarcasticgamer.com Yamster

      Should have featured Ayrton Senna and Colin McRae for maximum effect.

      • Dr4qul4

        Yeah.. zombie ones…

    • Zohaib

      HAHAHAHAHAH I AGREE……
      Bloody idiots……….. this is a racers paradise

    • http://GameReviewingCompany Game Reviewer

      Clearly this game was lacking in many of its features. To start off with, where was Nolan North? Uncharted 2 had him, and look what happened with that game (Metacritic is the measure of all things). Now others have already lamented the lack of a zombie mode, but I’ll take that complaint one step further and ask you a question. Where was the first-person shooter mode? And guns? First person shooters are really fun and popular, and every game should include a shooter type, even sports and racing games. First person shooters sell. Anyway, my greatest personal complaint, as Mr. Game Reviewer, is that, despite the fact that this game has fantastic graphics, is very fun to play, has a thousand cars and a robust online component, and is almost impossible to fully explore without dedicating your entire existence to it, this game failed in a way that nearly every game today fails-it didn’t create a new genre. People, hundreds of games get released every year, but what we really need are hundreds of new genres. In 2010, it takes more than a beautiful game that is fun to play to please me; I require a new genre with EVERY game I purchase. Honestly, how lazy are these developers? Do they really think that by releasing a game in which you simply drive a car as fast as possible and try to finish before other racers is enough to earn my hard earned cash (well, the potential purchaser’s hard earned cash, since I received a review copy and actually got paid to play the game)? Do they think I will agree to play any worthless piece of garbage that fails to address the American Dream in modern day Liberty City? Do they think that I will play a game not developed by Valve or Team ICO? The answer to all of those questions, for any reasonable, hardcore, TRUE gamer is an unequivocal no. GT5 is one of 2010?s worst games, and quite possibly one of the greatest disappointments of my entire life.

      Game Reviewing Website score: 8/10

  • http://forums.sarcasticgamer.com/member.php?u=11123 way2bored

    I feel it doesn’t have enough dinosaurs. That’s the major problem here.

  • Ass

    As expected from this mediocre website. Check gamespot or Game Informer. Why dont that idiot pig go and review twinkies?

    • http://YAHOO link

      because twinkies are not a game, and this IS a gaming website, you bloody idiot.

  • wtfwtfwtf

    You aren’t cool for writing a smart ass article.

    Also, I really wish Gran Turismo 5 had inaccurate guns and explosions which you magically survive during the story mode, along with terribly scripted AI and half-assed online. You know? Like Call of Doody.

  • Rudero

    I, personally, was expecting more of a tomb raider/call of duty. Very disappointed that this racing sim is merely a racing sim. Especially a racing sim full of eye candy and tons of content to go through. What was Sony thinking. Really!

  • http://twitter.com/kyree_kero Kero

    I think it’s coming out too soon. Delay it until 2011.

  • Tongas

    NEED MORE BOOBIES!!!!

    • http://YAHOO link

      HEARTILY AGREE!

  • ayzade

    Only a racing game?
    what did you expect, that GT5 fly you to the moon?
    yeah its a game, but a verry good game in my point of view

    • http://www.sarcasticgamer.com Yamster

      Welcome to Sarcastic Gamer.

    • http://YAHOO link

      I think that after five years of development, it SHOULD fly you to the moon.

  • Tom Ato

    Ever wonder why so many Gay – Box 360 fangirls spend all their time typing nonsense of the Internet? Because the 360 doesn’t have any exclusive games worth playing to keep them entertained.

    Forza is a last – gen pile of garbage that is nothing but a poorly – done copycat of Gran Turismo, which is why Gran Turismo always sells more.

    REAL gamers aren’t stupid, it doesn’t matter what a bunch of socially awkward, inbred morons rant about on Twitter, it won’t stop Gran Turismo from easily selling more than double what last – gen gayness like Forza 3 sold.

    • that guy

      I lol’ed

      • drfox

        i crapped my self

    • Kalem

      What the fuck is this shit? This website isn’t for 12 year olds. You might want to try IGN, or maybe GameFAQs.

  • 0_0

    I feel that the main character just wasn’t believable and it should of added the ability to steal opponents cars during the race. Also wheres the race streaks i want to drop predator missiles on my opponents. A Gran Turismo game with just racing is just pathetic.

  • C-LOVE

    WOW all gaming journalists that dont kno ne thing about cars plz save ur opinion because u live at home in ur moms basement u dont have a car all u do is play video games and write about them because u think we care wat u have to say about a game that we have been dieing to get, u dont kno how a 1967 mustang rides and accelerates, or a Ferrari f50 can put u in the back of ur seat holding on for dear life never mind some of the nices Porsche’s like the gt3 are amazing, i just got this game first thing i did was to see how a car like that handled because i have driven these cars n gt5 is dead on its the game of the year by far

    • Professor

      Hook, line, and…?

      • C-HATE

        Seriously… what a fish…

  • Nitram

    Here the thing everyone that reviews these games now a days has their own opinion about the what it should have could have been. But we have turned into a age where PEOPLE aren’t happy with anything. If something comes out on the scene it has to be just like what there are use to playing. And when a game is just like another game it gets bash. Yeah everyone is right GT5 took a long time to reappear but its hear. What about games that have been in development for 10 years or more example Duke Nukem Forever, Diablo 3, Starcraft 2.
    I’m mean come on folks lets think about it. Then you have games live Call of Duty which is the same thing every year and everyone runs faithfully and buys their stuff and its full of bugs and needs patches, but not only that but you have so called gamers using LAG Switches to cheat.

    This isn’t a rant it’s just a i opener for some of these so called gamers and reviewers. That want to say a game is bad cause it doesn’t have what they want in it. Only thing I can say about that is …. DEVELOP YOUR OWN GAME … But then again if it was that easy everyone would be developing games.

    I will be getting GT5 personally and I will enjoy it. Best thing is to play it for yourself and judge it.

  • http://forums.sarcasticgamer.com/member.php?u=11123 way2bored

    I love everyone who took this article serious. It’s clearly listed in the “parody news” section. If you believe this piece is truly degrading GT5 then you seriously need to learn to read.

  • http://www.coolestpeopleintheplanet.com

    I shall vomit all over this article… *vomits* ha ha ha ha ha. But no, seriously, so it took them four years *cough* nobody cares about this game anymore anyway *cough* I forgot *spits* about the GT series after reading the twenty-billionth article about *spits* it being delayed and instead focused on games I knew would come out before a console generations half-life.

    *vomits all over article*

  • http://www.airbornegamer.com/ Adam

    WTF is with so many gamers bitching about the fucking article. You know the website is called “Sarcastic Gamer” Right?

  • Mark

    6 years for a game no better than any Forza, laff

    • wtfwtfwtf

      4 years dumb shit.

      • Mark

        more tears bitch

  • Steve O’

    Nice article Yamster, some people can’t understand the SARCASTIC part of sarcastic gamer…
    Well on my opinion, I HAS TO BE JESUS CHRIST COMING TO EARTH AGAIN in the time people waited for this most played Gran Turismo 4 on the ps2, or like me , YES I played FORZA too, loved the GT series but 4 years is too much. Nice job PS3 make me play on your little brother.

  • Dom

    AMEN TO THIS ARTICLE. Game critics complain about the game being too realistic, “undriveable” by NFS and Grid standards. Seriously.

  • http://yahoo.com hatmoza

    I dunno. My biggest complaint was GT5 was too linear. Kind of on rails.

  • Sanzee

    HAHAHAHA! Loved the “not being the second coming of Jesus Christ” part. That was good, guys!

  • r0gue

    “…simply a videogame about driving cars, rather than the second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ as was initially predicted”

    Rotfl…classic line!

  • http://iandgoodall.com Ian

    I’ve seen it being played where I work and yes, I can confirm it does indeed resemble ‘just another’ racing game. There were no giant enemy crabs or real historical Japanese battles to speak of. What a waste of time. You would think Sony would have learned!

  • The Spartan Don

    I heard that this is GT4.5. I won’t be purchasing this game after reading this informative article. Thanks for saving me £40 Yamster ;)

  • that guy

    The truth is this game could never live up to the hype and it seems it hasn’t. I’m just a little shocked to read reviews that say this game seems to lack polish. GOD DAMN! What the fuck has taken them so long to get it out the door? It should be polished to a fucking mirrored sheen by now.

    At the end of the day though it’s just another racing game. It may have more bells and whistles and other BS that 90% of gamers don’t understand or care about, but it’s still just a racing game.

  • FORZA 3 BEST RACING SIM

    Forza 3 has WON!

    8 out 10′s for gt5 means I’ll stick with Forza 3.

    Metacritic score for Forza3 = 92
    Metacritic score for GT5 = 86

    I’m not buying gt5… there’s no point.

    • aleraiders

      without GT…there would be no forza

      • drfox

        you r right
        but now Forza is already here , then why GT sucked
        BTW i hated Forza

  • Simon

    Really .. i never trusted critics’ reviews. I prefer looking at user ratings to see how good a game is .

  • timewarp

    I love how some people still seem to think this is a serious article. Yamster gave us enough clues so I can’t see why anyone would fall for this.

  • http://www.sarcasticgamer.com MightyMutt

    Hold on! This game DOESN’T make my breakfast?! That is BS man, this game has been in development for 5 years!!!!

    “Forza 3 has WON!
    8 out 10?s for gt5 means I’ll stick with Forza 3.
    Metacritic score for Forza3 = 92
    Metacritic score for GT5 = 86
    I’m not buying gt5… there’s no point.”

    I really do not understand the thought process behind one game being ever so slightly better than another meaning that you will not want to play any other game = / Are you still playing Pong? Did you not play CoD BlOps just because Halo:Reach got a good review? If the Metacritic score for GT5 rises will you stop playing Forza? = / There is room for more than one type of game in each genre.

  • Shoe Horn O’ Plenty

    Man GT5 is a disappointment if its only a racing simulator. It should have had Sweet Tooth and Mario thrown in as unlock able characters and missiles and banana peels as weapons. That GT5 would have gotten 50 out of 10 stars.

  • greyfoxNL

    Brilliant article :)

    I agree this game is way overhyped, it could never live up to the expectations

  • http://twitter.com/jacobdyer Jacob Dyer

    my name is jacob dyer and i live in bristol. it is fantastic. i sound like barnaby bear. i like barnaby bear. one time he went to france. i went to france. but some kid burnt my neck. i didnt like it.

  • soulrebel

    My God, there are some f*cking brain donors on this comment section.

  • http://www.No.com RinseWashRepeat

    GT5 is terrible. The story made no sense and the voice acting was terrible. It also took me ages to get served a drink at the launch party.

    1/10

  • Mark’s Momma

    The only people who own a 360 are those whose families are too poor to afford a PS3. Lifetime Forza sales = 7.5 million. Lifetime GT sales = 55 million. Xbox 360 exclusives are nothing but mediocre, throwaway garbage and are not worth buying, sales prove that. I like how 360 spastics are citing Metacritic scores as a measure of quality, that must mean that Uncharted 2 is better than any last – gen garbage like Galo or Flopza then because it’s Metacritic score makes those games look like they were designed for morons!

    It’s Mark’s Momma, Mark’s Momma.
    You never really know what she’s gonna do next.
    It’s Mark’s Momma, Mark’s Momma.
    Giggidy, giggidy, giggidy, giggidy, let’s have sex!

    • that guy

      Mark’s Momma, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

    • drfox

      Gt is being released since Ps1 ??!!!!
      GT has 5 parts now + prolouge ??!!
      GT was released in the most selling console in history .. PS2 ???

      thats like comparing COD series overall sales to batlefield to prove its a better Game

    • Kalem

      You’re an idiot.

      ‘Nuff said.

  • aleraiders

    fuck all this…..NFS: Hot Pursuit for GOTY!

  • Lady Gaga

    OMG! Well at least there is a boss fight at the end of the track……right?

  • Lucid Dreamer

    Screw this site, screw Jesus, screw xbox fangays, screw forza…
    PS3>Hitler>Sh!t>Xbox 360

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19NYstwdKcw&feature=related

  • http://www.sarcasticgamer.com Ala Douche

    Very nice Yammy. I wasn’t expecting so many idiotic responses of people who either only read the title or are just THAT stupid (I mean, if Timewarp picks up on the satire, ANYONE should be able to).

    Very well done.

    • timewarp

      I reckon they all saw a title that didn’t praise GT5 and didn’t bother to read the article. It’s what most fanboys seem to do.

      And on a smaller note I didn’t think I came across that bad when it came to jokes.

  • http://www.vgevo.com pOOpInFLames

    Why do you all take reviews so damn serious?
    It’s just another dude or dudettes opinion.
    Buy or (as most of you can) rent the games you like. Games are so expencive where i live,and we have no rental service. Still I feel like theres not all that much complaining here.
    I KNOW what kind of games I like to play and there are not many games I regret buying.
    You don’t have to agree with everybody else,but people are allowed to have an opinion.
    Stop beeing sheep and always follow your so called leaders. Be somebody,not just another asshat!

    Great article Yamster :)

  • Razorlution

    This is what happens when casual journalists play and review a simulation game. If this was reviewed by a race fan, and by that, I dont mean your general Burnout fan.

    This is not a problem with just racing games but all genres.

    • that guy

      So games should only be reviewed by people who are sure to like them? That’s one the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. There are millions of PS3 owners out there who aren’t hardcore sim racing fans, I’m sure they would appreciate a review that will let them know if the game is still enjoyable for the average gamer. So both points of view are very valid.

  • http://GameReviewingWebsite Game Reviewer

    Clearly this game was lacking in many of its features. To start off with, where was Nolan North? Uncharted 2 had him, and look what happened with that game (Metacritic is the measure of all things). Now others have already lamented the lack of a zombie mode, but I’ll take that complaint one step further and ask you a question. Where was the first-person shooter mode? And guns? First person shooters are really fun and popular, and every game should include a shooter type, even sports and racing games. First person shooters sell. Anyway, my greatest personal complaint, as Mr. Game Reviewer, is that, despite the fact that this game has fantastic graphics, is very fun to play, has a thousand cars and a robust online component, and is almost impossible to fully explore without dedicating your entire existence to it, this game failed in a way that nearly every game today fails-it didn’t create a new genre. People, hundreds of games get released every year, but what we really need are hundreds of new genres. In 2010, it takes more than a beautiful game that is fun to play to please me; I require a new genre with EVERY game I purchase. Honestly, how lazy are these developers? Do they really think that by releasing a game in which you simply drive a car as fast as possible and try to finish before other racers is enough to earn my hard earned cash (well, the potential purchaser’s hard earned cash, since I received a review copy and actually got paid to play the game)? Do they think I will agree to play any worthless piece of garbage that fails to address the American Dream in modern day Liberty City? Do they think that I will play a game not developed by Valve or Team ICO? The answer to all of those questions, for any reasonable, hardcore, TRUE gamer is an unequivocal no. GT5 is one of 2010′s worst games, and quite possibly one of the greatest disappointments of my entire life.

    Game Reviewing Website score: 8/10

    • Dogtaro

      Again?
      You are quite retarded…
      And this might be the most comments I’ve ever seen!

    • http://www.sarcasticgamer.com Yamster

      I love you, Games Reviewer.

  • http://www.sarcasticgamer.com UndeadDoGPoop

    Mark’s Momma, don’t play an elitist fucktard when you don’t have the education to back it up. We’re all so glad you are better than all of the poor families of the world because you can afford a slightly different gaming console. You waste the world’s oxygen.

  • Trolololol Trol.

    All this game needs is the exact same engine as last time, hundreds of bugs and and self driving mode called VATS. That’d get some good reviews.

  • timewarp

    [IMG]http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i206/badwolf6556/algore-3354.jpg[/IMG]

    • timewarp

      picture fail >_<

  • Mark’s Momma

    How can I waste the world’s oxygen? I have a PS3 gaming system, meaning I am in the most oxygen – deserving class of all.

    It’s 360 losers who don’t have any exclusives that waste the world’s oxygen, you all know this to be true.

    It’s Mark’s Momma, Mark’s Momma.
    You never really know what, she’s gonna do next.
    It’s Mark’s Momma, Mark’s Momma.
    Giggidy, giggidy, giggidy, giggidy, let’s have sex!