“Go to hell.”

For months, publisher and developer Electronic Arts has been pounding that line into our skulls in an effort to promote Visceral Games’ Dante’s Inferno.  Similar to Dead Space, the controversial third-person action game has been the beneficiary of some serious marketing muscle.  The absurd promotional campaign has been highly entertaining, and EA deserves a blue ribbon for some truly brilliant advertising tactics.  Mass: We Pray was certainly a highlight, let’s not forget the fake E3 Christian protest, the lewd “Sin to Win” contest, or the $200 checks mailed to various media outlets.  I just wish I had received a Dante’s Inferno holiday ornament; it would have made a nice addition to my sizable collection of tree decorations.

With launch quickly approaching, EA is preparing for one final pre-release push.  On Feb. 7, the publisher and developer will unleash its debut Super Bowl commercial, a 30-second spot for Dante’s Inferno set to air during the fourth quarter. For EA, it would certainly suck if the championship game is a blowout and everyone stops watching at halftime.  Not to go off topic, but I think the Colts are going to cruise. I’m actually rooting for the Saints, but the defense is a bit shaky, and the offensive struggles against the Vikings give me reason for pause. Regardless, I’ll be chomping buffalo wings and assailing my liver with copious amounts of alcohol, so it should be fun either way. I only hope that EA can cap its brilliant pre-launch shenanigans with a stellar trailer.  I need something to get me juiced for Dante’s Inferno, because the demo sure as hell didn’t do the job.

If EA really wants to make a big splash, the company could:

• Sacrifice a lamb at the 50-yard line of Sun Life Stadium
• Toss severed limbs from a blimp
• Hoard all of the ketchup for a ceremonial blood fountain
• Distribute delicious skull-shaped sugar cookies with razors baked inside
• Offer free abortions in the male restroom of concourse B
• Set a Guinness World Record for acts of arson in a single city on a single night
• Have CEO John Riccitiello streak during The Who’s halftime performance with the chorus of The Devil Went Down to Georgia branded on his chest
• Arrange a tailgate luau headlined by Cannibal Corpse and Lamb of God
• Cry over spilled milk
• Reenact the famous Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom scene in which Mola Ram rips that dude’s heart out. For added effect, EA could replace Mola Ram with Kano from Mortal Kombat
• Openly declare that Hello Kitty is Polynesian propaganda
• Replace the kosher hot dogs with strips of bacon arranged in pitchfork formations
• Hold a one-zombie parade with the decayed body of Michael Jackson
• Perform an exorcism on Activision Blizzard CEO Bobby “Balance Sheet” Kotick
• Disprove electricity. Good luck.
• Murder everyone in attendance, sending them to hell

Image credit: Electronic Arts

Source: Electronic Arts

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