I'm just sayin'...

Oh, goodie. Just what my clogged-with-crap Twitter feed needs: more spamtastic Spam!  Announced in a press release last night, GameSpot and Raptr are partnering up to make their services more obnoxious then ever!

Gentlemen, this could very well break the internet as we know it.  Follow me after the jump.

First, the gods (and Al Gore) made the Internet from a series of pipes.  The gods looked down, and it was swell.

On the second day, the gods created MySpace and Facebook, so lowly peons could keep track friends and family on the Internet.  The gods looked down and smiled on what they had created.

On the third day, the trickster Internet god equivalent of Loki came down and started screwing with things.   His ass created Twitter, which opened a floodgate.  People who believed themselves important now had an outlet to announce every fart and bowel movement.  Hooray?

By day sixteen or so, things had really gone down the toilet, and now we have spam vomiting games like Spymaster and programs like Raptr that regularly bombard the poor users of the Internet non-stop.

While Raptr sounded like a good idea at first, giving people the heads up that their friends are playing video games, and that they should jump on and play with them, it has since spiraled into wave, after nauseating wave, of people announcing every trophy, every level gained, and every friggin’ time they turned on a console. Multiply that by eleventeen billion Twitter users, and you can see why things might get cluttered quickly.

Now we’re looking at the next evolution of annoying.  Apparently, the union of GameSpot and Raptr will involve GameSpot “using social data and technology” from Raptr to create “applications” that let “gamers personalize their gaming experience and easily connect with friends and peers”.

In other words, GameSpot and Raptr will be able to hunt you down and beat you about the head and neck with announcement after spam-a-licious announcement that little Billy is playing Backyard Football and would like someone to play with.  Now he scored a touchdown!  Now he’s playing with Little Tom Brady!  He just scored an achievement for three sacks in one game!  Now he’s…and so on, and so forth.

This bloody ritual will take place some time in early 2010, at which time, you should probably start just unplugging your computer from the internet all together and get fairly intimate with Minesweeper.