"Breaking news! Godzilla attacks Tokyo!"
I’m sure there are people who hadn’t even put their wallets away after buying a DSi or new PSP when the “next gen” version of the damn thing was announced. With last week’s announcement of the great-for-grandma’s-glaucoma DSi XXXXXL, roughly the size of a netbook with a stlyus that could be used to stake vampires, you have to wonder just what Nintendo’s portable division was thinking.
But then it seems that those folks are drinking from the same well that the developers over at Sony’s handheld division are drinking from with their latest release, the PSP Go! Let’s take a look at both systems and mock them, shall we?
DSi XL:
- In the Land of the Rising Sun, they’ve decided to stop going smaller, instead going the good ol’ fashion American way and making their next handheld as big as humanely possible. It is 50% larger than the DSi, and almost twice as big as the DS Lite. Okay, maybe not, but I don’t feel like doing math right now.
- Well, apparently they’re not making enough money from the Wii anymore, so they’ve decided to play stupid like Sony does when pricing new hardware; looks like it will cost $22o-ish when it launches here in the States for Q1 2010.
- A full inch larger screen, but still same resolution graphics! That’s right, kids! You can now play 64-bit games like they were meant to be played: huddled around a four inch screen like your freezing to death in a blizzard, using the LED screen for warmth!
- Oh, goodie! It comes with two brain training games and a dictionary already installed on the hard drive? Well, you can’t say Nintendo doesn’t give out anything for free, now can ya?
- Colors: The Japanese version will launch in three colors: Wine Red, Dark Brown, and Hemorrhoid Cream White. Okay, I’m just joking about the Dark Brown.
- The DSi with it’s fancy camera and silly downloadable calculators was announced this time last year. So just over a year before the next one launches; isn’t that a bit…soon? Someone get the Left4Dead 2 protesters over here, we’ve got a new banner to rally behind!
PSP Go:
- Well, it’s old terrain, but let’s kick around in the mud for a bit.
- No UMD (Unviersal Media Disk) drive, and no UMD turn-in program. I now have a very decorative coffee table that I super-hot glue gunned all my old UMDs to the top of. Very “frat boy house” chic.
- $249. Of course, they apparently weren’t talking with the folks over at Sony’s main office, because this came out just about the same time the price drop for the PS3 Slim came out. Really? Is there even a choice if you have $300 and could only buy one? Hey, there’s still a recession going on: quit making me stop and think about buying new plastic crap.
- Ironically, much like the Nintendo Wii, no one is playing their PSP. Well, except for PacManPolarBear, and we all know what that’s about…I mean, amirite?
- In it’s first week, Sony sold 1000 units. One thousand. Good for you, world, for not taking any of Sony’s nonsense.
I’m sure there are plusses and minuses on each side of the fence for this one, but I’m interested in hearing what the rest of the community has to say. Which is why I wrote this in the first place: which system is more stupid-er than the other, because for the most part, they both are pretty ignorant.
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First, FUNNY ARTICLE! I loved it.
2nd: Sony was dumber… ok, so the DSi XLL is useless as an update, but at least they are not taking features away from the DSi. It’s the DSi’s Lite (or is it now concidered the new Phat? I dont know).
Ok, this is terrible. Enough is enough. Nintendo needs to either make a new system, or get out of the running. Why would any person with over 100 IQ fall for this? I will personally kill anyone who already has a DS that buys the XXL
…or at least doesnt have a DSi. That way, you can actually argue new features and more power under the hood (and soon games the regular DS cant play).
Nintendo takes this one. I mean, lets exagerrate the already crappy graphics by blowing them up a bit more. There is no juice under this piece of crap that is the king of all shovelware, period.
Sony isn’t far behind although with the tard pack overpriced hand cramp still no goddamn second analog stick slider brick. Hell even Sony fanboys wish they would at least use the shovel for some content to play on this fricken thing.
I didn’t have a PSP, bought a PSP Go, and am thoroughly enjoying it. Having all my games around all the time is quite nice, and the load times are incredibly fast. It could have been cheaper, I suppose, but I’m not complaining.
if u look from a game point of yes its stupid . how ever anyone notice that it allready been touted as a ebook reader . i bet books will appear in the ds soon
DSi XL is for people with bad eyesight. They don’t see the stretch caused by the lack of increase in resolution. It is not for the general public, stop imagining that everything was made for you.
Personally, I’m offended by your claim that the DSi XL is “stupid” because it’s really my only chance to play DS games, as my vision is always getting worse.
HI THERE YOU ARE RIGHT NINTENDO XXL EVEN AT THE SIZE OF NETBOOK WILL HAVE STILL 133 MHZ CPU 16 MB OF RAM AND 256 MB OF MEMORY AND AT $220 FOR JUST $30 MORE AT $250 YOU GET A PSP GO BRIGHTER SCREEN BETTER GAMES A 480 MHZ CPU BY FCC WITH SOFTWARE UPDATE 64 MB OF RAM AND 16 GB OF FLASH MEMORY WITH A MICRO SD CARD UP TOO 16 GB YOU CAN TOP 32 GB I USE MY PSP GO MORE THEN DSI
DSiXL isn’t worth it. Bigger screens? Gimmicky. Nintendo knows they’re failing. That’s why you get the Brain Age games pre-installed, BO-RING. PSPgo is worth your dollar. It comes with Rock Band: Unplugged and has a bigger selection of downloadable titles.
Honestly, bot SUCK!!!,The Ds Is So large and same graphics? OMG the sux.But it would be good for ppl with bad vision.I Mean Nintendo arent doing any progress they need more games (although i prefer Nintendo) But i say that Nintedo need to Push a little.
about the PSP,i heard that u cant install games on it and u cant use PSP normal games on it!! this sux.
for Nintendo they need to push a little and Sony……make your PSP a little bigger and cheeper ok?
Dont talk bad of the new dsi, it is very good… psp go sucks… im spainish so i dont talk english so im gonna talk spanish…. la nueva dsi es la mejor portatil qué iegou a nuestro mundo vosotros no sabem distinguir nada so lo sabem gozar sus ignorantes
For those who want to upgrade, both of these craps suck.
For new buyers, PSP go is goooood.
The slide design makes it quite portable.
And the dsi XXL?? its xtra xtra large lol.
though i support nintendo usually, this is veryyyyyyy baaaad.
cuz of the same resolution and no ability to play movies. I wish there are some technical upgrades that improve tha graphics.
What a ripoff! Last Christmas I updated my 5 year old original DS to a DSi system, and was pleased with the brighter screen and how it was more like a wii. I also love the camera, flipnote studio, web browser and more. The colors on the DSi are nice, but these new XL ones, two words, OH EW! They look like something my cat puked up. Why pay more for a heavier system you will drop, thats less portable and comes with some brain games worth like 2 bucks in the DSi store? Seriously Nintendo? I am disappointed with them, usually their systems are great! I think I’m gonna stick with the pink DSi
They both kind of suck. I’m a little more for the psp go because of how big the nintendo dsi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll is. Im usually for nintendo but now im for sony. at least for now.