Sarcastic Gamer has been given an inside exclusive on a Left4Dead2 story of momentous importance and significance. Sure to shock the gaming world, this news is so fresh we do not even have pictures to prove it has happened. You are just going to have to rely on something thin on the ground in these modern days of evil globe conquering Internets – that of trust.

Trust, that we at Sarcastic Gamer would not lie to you — except every Friday, where we do Fiction Friday, oh and every time we talk about Frawlz’s known whereabouts, and, um, the fact we haven’t told you that Doc has been replaced by an evil cyborg from the future, oh and also that time I told Rothbart I really did have an Atari 2000 rather than admitting a typing mistake — apart from THOSE times, we would never, EVER lie to you…well…unless we had to for some reason… But now is not one of those times!

For all the hair raising (or trimming) truths better buzz on over to the next page…

It gives Sarcastic Gamer no pleasure to announce the following news; Chet Falisneik…er…Fallonisnek…um… Feliszeki… Felonski…Chet from Valve, has parted company with a long time friend and mainstay of the industry. When asked why he had chosen, what seemed like an odd time, to make this ‘clean shave’ (and would be an even odder time to be jobless) Chet from Valve was quoted as saying:

“I always do it backwards have one during the summer… I am not very smart.”

When asked what he most looked forward to now he was facing the world alone he commented;

“ahhh wind on my face!”

A strange decision from the famously bearded developer…

“Thanks but I am now non-bearded…”

What?! Wait a second! You have shaved your beard!?!

“Yes!”

And not leaving Valve?

“Why the hell would I leave Valve? They’re great, make great games.”

Good point, well made…er guys…do we even have a news story here? Go with the beard angle!?! Oh right…ahem!

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, THE most famous beard in the video game industry is no more and has been Left4dead in the wastebasket like last nights rotting zombie brains remains.

Spookily enough, this news breaks just as this reporter is, in fact, growing a beard (to raise awareness for prostate cancer as part of Movember – sorry couldn’t quite bring myself to grow a mustache, my beards embarrassing enough) There is no truth to the rumors that this new beard growth is some sort of new furry zombie (or werezombie) infection passed on by recent contact with Chet from Valve, that he has now somehow freed himself from.

However, it may just be enough to help Chet from Valve out run the impending zombie horde descending upon on us — or at least out run me…right, where did I put that cricket bat? Grab what ever you can people…THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING!

Great thanks to the mighty Chet Faliszek for the quotes and exclusive beard trimming news…more beards news at ten.

And standby for news of an exclusive Left4Dead2 Competition coming soon…