No, the game’s title is not a crude reference to anyone’s sexual prowess in the bedroom.  It’s actually a cleverly designed PSP title by XSeed, where you play across a series of 30-second-long mini games spoofing Japanese role playing games like Dragon Warrior or Final Fantasy (the original NES version).  Think of it as the “Warioware” of role-playing games, with it’s tongue firmly stuck in it’s 8-bit graphical cheek.

I’m going to try and describe this to you, but it’s a game that breaks a lot of genres, so I’ll do the best I can.

Hero 30:
If you’ve heard anything about the game already, you’ve probably heard the main premise of the game.  You’re a hero who’s trying to defeat the Ultimate Dark Lord (yes, that is his name), who has a spell to destroy the world.  The spell takes 30 seconds to cast, hence the title of the game.  The key is that shortly after starting the game, you meet the “Time Goddess”, who, for a little bit of coin, can turn back the clock and give you a fresh 30 seconds.  Even at its longest, a level of the “Hero 30” style gameplay lasts a whopping 2-3 minutes at most, with 30 total levels.  This style is most reminiscent of Dragon Warrior, with your warrior grinding levels and crossing an overland map, completing quests in a frantic pace.

The circle is the level of power you possess to summon helper demons...and yes, that is an umbrella the Evil Lord is carrying.

Evil Lord 30:
Following the game’s silly timeline, the next 30 levels take place 100 years in the future, where you take on the role of an Evil Lord trying to cast a spell to break the curse on his beloved wife Millenia, who has been turned into a bat.  The gameplay is nothing like the “Hero 30” section, this time, you summon demons to defeat enemies and boss characters around you in under 30 seconds, focusing on a rock-paper-scissors type of game (shooters beat melee, runners beat shooters, melee beat runners).  The Time Goddess is also present, turning back the 30 second clock, but you purchase spell upgrades with coins as well, so you have to be cognizant of saving money.

Pew pew pew!

Princess 30:
A side-scrolling shooter, you take on the role of a Princess another 100 years in the future, leaving your castle to hunt for a variety of cures for your ailing father, the King.  You are held aloft on a chair and surrounded by a cloud of soldiers, able to fire a flurry of arrows with a magic crossbow in all four cardinal directions as your move around the screen.

Knight 30:
Unlocked only after beating all 3 previous gameplay styles, you take on the role of a knight escorting around a sage, who is trying to gather the forces of the previous three heroes (hero, princess, evil lord).  Along the way, they are beset by hordes of enemy forces, and your job as the knight is to protect the sage for 30 seconds until he casts an enemy decimating spell.

While people might immediately classify this as an RPG, it’s more of a fast paced puzzle game.  Each level has a quirk that keeps you from just blazing through it, and you have to figure out how to best deal with that problem so you can proceed, but there is really nothing in the game that is too hard to figure out.

The game’s storyline is a bit on the absurd side, but if you play in the order you are supposed to, it lays out a rather decent tale from start to finish, even with characters named as generically Japanese as the “Ultimate Evil Lord”.  The game breaks the fourth wall frequently as it pokes fun at itself and role playing genre, involving the player in a lot of the inside jokes.  A perfect example is during the Hero 30 section, where each level boss gets more and more goofy, to the point where the game even tells you that “it’s running out of ideas for boss fights” when you’re forced to fight a giant pile of rocks.

Much like SmellyPirate, I spent a lot of time in the bathroom playing this game, and found myself spending a lot longer than I had intended.  The levels are so short, it gets very easy to find yourself saying, “Okay, I’ll just get to the next level and then stop”, only to find that you’ve been sitting there for 45 minutes and your butt is going numb.

It ended up taking over 10 hours to get through the whole single player campaign, and I had a pretty decent time with it.  It does have replayability as well, giving you not only an ad hoc multiplayer, but the ability to go back and redo levels you’ve completed for faster times and in-game titles based on performance.

As far as video games in general go, I can say it ranks among some of the more unique titles I’ve ever played.  It’s not going to blow you away with the gameplay, but it’s pick-up-and-play feeling is perfect for the PSP, and you’ll find yourself with an unexpected smile on your face every now and again.

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