Not being content with earlier this year comparing Warcraft with cocaine use, the Swedish Youth Care Foundation (Stiftelsen Ungdomsvård) today told newspapers that computer gaming addiction, particularly to Warcraft, has reached ‘pandemic’ proportions. I think I speak for us all when I say our money was on zombie-ism (if that’s not a word it SHOULD be) being the next worldwide apocalypse virus, but cant win ‘em all.

“This is a huge hidden problem in a lot of countries and it doesn’t get the same kind of attention because it takes place largely behind closed doors rather than out in public.” said Sven Rollenhagen, spokesman for the YCF, a typically untrustworthy Swedish personage assembled from washed hair, low cholesterol, and shiningly clean genitalia.

A spokesman for the H1N1 Virus could not be found for comment. Undoubtedly the Influenza ‘A’ virus subtype (real name Hemagglutinin-1 Neuraminidase-1) is relieved that public attention will be easing off. The media and World Health Organization will doubtlessly now turn to Warcraft as the next doomsday pathogen du jour. The switch could not have come at a better time for H1N1 given that Routers today reported the first related death in Mozambique, suggesting an upcoming breakthrough tour of the developing world.

The YCF spokesman said that since its last internationally publicized burst of crazy talk, it has received a ‘large number’ of inquires from social service agencies, schools, parent groups, and religious organizations – all without doing a shred of marketing. Yet again it is proven beyond all doubt that yodeling gibberish and horseshit from a mountain top will get you listened to faster than reasoned discourse every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

“If you extrapolate from the number of calls we received or simply from the millions of games that are sold around the world each year, you start to see how big the pool of potential addicts is. I believe we’re dealing with a problem of pandemic proportions.” gibbered Rollenhagen.

As part of its response to the swelling pandemic tide , the YCF now has versions of their website, Game Over Stockholm (www.spelfritt.se) in four different languages. On this site users can gain valuable information about public safety issues, such as : Has site proprietor Love Bergström played both Baldur’s Gate 1 and 2? Does he work out? Does he have a girlfriend? This and a treasure trove of other critical updates (ie – Love, in fact, does not eat junk food) will surely provide every bit as useful as bulk buying cling-film in event of a biological weapon detonating.

In what may be the bitterest irony of all, Mr. Rollenhagen hopes to use the expanded website to avoid an “incredible waste of resources”.

http://www.thelocal.se/22110/20090916/