A map for a harmless video game, or is there something more evil going on?

With the record shattering sales of Shadow Complex, selling almost 200,000 copies in the first week alone, Orson Scott Card was interviewed from his Nevada ranch on Monday on how he was handling his unexpected success.

“I am elated,” Card stated while standing over a large schematic, rubbing his hands together, “because with the new funding, I can now begin the next phase for the destruction of San Francisco!”  When questioned as to what he was talking about, Card responded with, “Why San Francisco?  Because it is the headquarters of the gays, that’s why. “

Prior to the release of Shadow Complex, there was a great deal of controversy over the fact that Chair based the game over the Orson Scott Card novel “Empire”.  Card’s views against homosexuality and same sex marriage are controversial at best, and he became a member of the board of directors of the National Organization for Marriage in 2009, a group that seeks to prevent the legalization of same-sex marriage.   Many people thought that spending money to purchase Shadow Complex would be putting money in the pocket of this well-known homophobe…

“…and they would be right!” Card guffawed, “Thanks to the number of sales of the game that I made, I now have the funding to purchase the underground base to launch my invasion of San Francisco!  I want to thank each and every person out there reading this interview that with their purchase of Shadow Complex, they have done their part in helping wiping the scourge of homosexuality off of the Earth!”

When asked about revenue numbers, Card didn’t give out specifics: “I haven’t confirmed with my accountant yet, but based on my cut of the sales, I should be all ready to start building by the end of the year!  Tell those fairies to hold on to their rainbow flags, because Uncle Orson is a comin’ for ‘em!”

Following this interview, Card learned that he would be receiving a .05% royalty for every copy of Shadow Complex sold, which roughly came out to Card earning less than one cent per copy sold.

Card was not pleased with the new development.

“Aw, come on.  That’s not even two grand!  That’s not even going to buy me a single AX-7 Omega Gaybasher surface-to-surface missile for one robot bipedal walker!   Damnit!  My plans are foiled!”  Card said, twirling his handlebar mustache from behind his black cape.

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