What a complete piece of garbage game. From the moment I began to play Batman: Arkham Asylum I began to feel an overwhelming sense of Deja Vu… And then it hit me. This was just like that time I ate poop. It was an accident. Someone else’s.
Over the weekend I read that Batman got into the Guiness Book of World Records for being awesome or some crap. WHOOPTEEFRICKINDOO!
Just because a bunch of wannabe’s who see themselves as the interactive equivalent of Roger Ebert, with hands malformed in the shape of gaming controllers, are finally getting to live out their fantasy of being a superhero who’s only super power is being insanely wealthy, doesn’t mean you have to pollute my world with pages upon pages of fallatiotic (yeah Ijust made that word up.. bring it) drivel likening Batman Arkham Asylum to the second coming! (Third coming if you’re Mormon.)
Game Informer gave Batman a 9-point-super and IGN gave Eidos a pretty good knobbing as well. Why? Because the game is really the best thing ever made? NO. Because every OTHER Batman game sucked ass and this one ROCKS in comparison.
Put this game up against real achievements in gaming arts, like Call of Duty 3 and Destroy All Humans 2 and then let’s see you look me in the eye and tell me it’s the best game ever made. You can’t. Because that would make you a liar.
Officially, I’m afraid I’m gonna pee on the parade of many a comic book fanboy and classify Batman: Arkham Asylum in the company of other disappointing games like Call of Duty 4 and Metal Gear Solid 4.
Don’t worry. If you hate the game as much as I do, the comments section of THIS article is a place of free speech, where you can speak out and tell everyone how you REALLY feel about shovelware like this.
(AUTHOR’S NOTE: I reserve the right to update/change this review after I purchase the game and play it on Thursday.)
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lol, nice one!
Rofl best review ever
Man, you had me up until CoD3. The whole time reading it, I was thinking “oh god, this isn’t going to be good.” LOL! Nice one, Doc!
Wtf is this? This is not even a review of the game, just a review of the game’s exposure. Holy shit, Batman, what amateurish bullshit.
If this is your only talent as a journalist, going in the opposite direction of everybody else, maybe you should stop attempt playing video games.
Raider you do relise that this is a parody article if you had read the title of the site you may have relised that
Haha, Doc you got Raider sooooooo bad.
Nice one.
hahahahah raider u fool. best review ever. cod3 is the best game ever and nothing will ever beat it lol
Looks like Doc caught a little fishy!
o nom nom nom
Fishy tasted good!
Doc, you are such a terrible journalist. I mean, have you even PLAYED the game…
Oh, wait, it says here at the bottom of the article that you have not. Hmmm…someone couldn’t be bothered to READ the whole piece, I guess!
wait wait…. if this is being sarcastic? whats that say about Destroy All Humans 2. I effin loved that game. Try it High, and you will believe thats there is no greater satisfaction then sucking people’s brains out with a ray-gun.
Im just sayin’
lol
I don’t think Doc can really review this game unless he’s finished it. Did you even finish the game, Doc???
LOL that’s why I love this site
Thursday? You need to play it on my 360 here in Seattle, Doc?
Ha ha! Raider called Doc a “journalist”!!! I love it when silly stuff like that happens…
Doc…journalist.
I fail to see the connection here…
I love seeing fanboys (Raider) go all up in arms! Pro-tip: Try reading the article the whole way through next time Apparently he missed the memo that this was a JOKE! Oh yeah, PS3 is way better than the 360…
lol Raider… nice work Doc! is the 4:th sentence true? [D]igester (i can make up words to)[O]f [C]rap…
Cod3 is epic awesome 1337ness in a jar!!!! How could u say that!!!!!
best SG review EVER rofl
Umm… Your wrong about COD 4 and MGS 4. They were good to play.
Good stuff, at first i was like wtf
man you will love the game
Welcome to the fish tank Phantom.
nom nom nom.
Raider and Phantom sitting in a tree F-A-I-L-I-N-G!!
….
oh I see what you did thur.
very nice.
Wow! What a load of Crap! This article is obviously bias toward WWII games and open world alien invasion sims!!! I can’t believe the editors of this site allow such garbage to be posted, the Founder/Director of this site should fire every single one of you!!! I’m so angry that someone could write such filth about the 2nd coming of Christ that IS BMAA. Anyone who doesn’t agree with me should be hauled away to the MAD HOUSE!!!
*Poster’s Note: I reserve the right to edit/change this comment upon reading the Author’s note.
Best Review… Ever…
I <3 The Fish Tank!
Now we have two fishies in the… Okay, what happened to the fishies? They were in the tank a minutes ago!