Y’know, it can be hard finding a story in some things. At the moment, Ubisoft’s press conference has been going for 20 minutes and there’s been no games. Just James Cameron talking. A lot.

But I think Pillowfort and I can summarise it so far pretty well using the magic of Google Mail chat.

[Yves Guillemot, the extremely French CEO of Ubisoft, takes the stage]
Yamster: REALEETAAY, AYEBRID

Pillowfort: that had better be the header for this; ubi shows off realeetayyy

Yamster: an ayebrid of fantasee and realeetaay?

Pillowfort: fuck, yes; I mean, faaak yeees

Yamster: CONFLOOENCE

Yamster: this is nearly as good as whasshisname from Quantic Dream

Pillowfort: we’ve got two hours of this, dawg

Yamster: In Fahrenheit [Indigo Prophecy in the States] you will face many consequaaaances

Yamster: You will need to have good reflaaaxes in some dangerous situations

Pillowfort: also it was said like “farrnightt”

Yamster: an indush-tree!

Pillowfort: so, that’s an article

Pillowfort: “Ubi: Unsurprisingly french”

Pillowfort: highbreed technologeeez

Yamster: anteeeceepayed

Pillowfort: haha another avatar

Yamster: JAMES CAMRON

Pillowfort: DEEVLOPING

Yamster: FULL SHUCKLE

Pillowfort: this is really mean, but god damn, he’s so french

Yamster: DEEVLOPING

Pillowfort: earnie ball is the guitar strings I use
Pillowfort: have they… actually said anything yet?
Pillowfort: “E3 09 Ubisoft is a deeevloper capable of highbreed technologeeez

Yamster: okay there’s james cameron; sorry, james AMRON

Pillowfort: E3 09: James Cameron says some stuff
Pillowfort: E3 09: James Cameron ruins the plot of his movie
Pillowfort: “we still have seven months to go, and I am here talking to you, videogame people.”

Pillowfort: THERE ARE SO MANY FRENCH PEOPLE BACK STAGE. I’M A LITTLE SCARED.

We at SarcasticGamer.com would like to point out that we take French people, Ubisoft and James Cameron extremely seriously at all times. And James Cameron has not stopped talking about his stupid movie for the past 10 minutes.

We’ll continue to bring the real news of E3 to you as it happens.

Popularity: 1% [?]