In a ‘time’ where everyone suavely skitters about in swish suits, and a punctilious observance of punctuality is considered an endearing trait, portable chronometers (wrist-mounted or otherwise) have never been more important. It is with that in mind, that we present Horrorlogical: a column that takes a look at supposed clock-based video game ‘horrors’, and dispels the mythology surrounding their uselessness. Horrorlogical rises above the sarcasm and attempted wit that too often accompanies video game clock commentary and brings you all the tick-tocking facts in an unbiased and objective manner. Let’s begin then, shall we?

Released just this week, Photo Clock is the latest time keeping sensation for the Nintendo DSi. Taking utility and fun, then mashing them together into one pleasantly functional paste type thing, Photo Clock hopes to win your heart with a true gaggle of features, spanning the entire breadth of the clock functionality spectrum. Join me after the jump, to take a gander (what is with this avian vernacular?) through exactly what makes Photo Clock worth your 200 DSi Points.

Photo Clock boasts analog and digital clock options, both of which replicate their respective real time counterparts excellently. The hand physics on the analog clock are perfect. As the time changes, each hand glides sublimely to its next location (accompanied by a majestic ‘tick’), soaring over the peal white clock face in the same delicate way that a young faun might stumble slightly upon first encountering crisp morning ice on a winter’s day. The attention to detail is outstanding, with hands moving slightly past the correct position before snapping brusquely back in a way that screams “I am a clock and I am going to tell you the time!”

The digital clock is similarly meritorious, dispensing with the cold, clinical brooding that oft accompanies such time tellers, and instead replacing it with a beautiful coruscating display.  Just gazing at the clock’s pulchritude conveys a sense of warmth, and will bring the smell of freshly baked walnuts to the forefront of any child’s mind. The digital clock, especially, has a certain je ne sais quoi, but perhaps the feverish anticipation that accompanies each and every sixty second countdown to the next minute is what makes this clock so unique.

Beauty, though, is not the only ingredient in the oh-so-good Photo Clock pie. Other components include utility’s best friend, functionality. If in need of arising from slumber, a shrill wake up call is provided for in the form of an alarm. With the ability to assign each of the three available alarms  a sound created in the Nintendo DSi sound creator, the possibilities are literally endless! Music-concoction-aphobes will be aptly catered for by the “preset ring”, which resonates in one’s ears just like the soft clucking of a Painted Bush-quail. There’s also a snooze function!

The clock can be set either from the Nintendo DSi’s internal clock, or by offsetting the time to whichever crazy hour you desire. Wish to think you’re ‘partying it up’ in the early hours of the morning, when actually dusk is just descending? Photo Clock has you covered!

Photo Clock’s real party trick, however, I have yet to discuss. In the words of the Nintendo press release, this functionality allows you to “experience all the enjoyment of a photo album while ensuring you won’t lose track of the time.” Yes, Photo Clock lets you display all your 0.3M photos on the top screen, in a static or slideshow format.

I have always condoned the viewing of family photos, but I do insist that it is done in a safe environment…and that includes knowing what time it is. Imagine you place a sumptuous sausage under a fiery grill and, while waiting for the cylindrical nourishment to reach sizzle point, you decide to peruse some nostalgia-infused photos. You quickly loose track of time, causing the ‘banger’ to bang in a violent explosion, setting your house on fire and killing your cat.

Such an eventuality is not possible with Photo Clock, where you always know what time it is.

Photo Clock, then, is well worth your 200 Nintendo DSi Points. It provides elegance, safety and functionality all in one cheap bundle. I cannot implore you enough to buy this product. You will not regret it.

Horrorlogical is written by Eoco: a fat old man who likes telling people to “Clear off!” He can be contacted via snail mail (literally: place your parcel on top of a snail, and it will reach him) or by emailing .

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