Oh, it's alright, I covered it with a Bionic Commando logo anyway. No big.

This has to be the stupidest, weirdest thing I’ve ever written. Heather Mills, famous leg amputee and golddigging ex of Paul McCartney (this is what I have picked up from a glance at Wikipedia and is all I will ever claim to know) was approached a while ago by Capcom regarding the upcoming Bionic Commando game: presumably for promotional work, since the hero of BC is an amputee…yup, that’s tasteful.

Weird? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Let’s skip past the obvious point here: if I were an amputee I would personally be a little offended if a game company approached me and asked if I would promote their game just because the main character’s an amputee.

Let’s also skip past the obvious point that using Heather Mills for anything PR-related is an utter disaster waiting to happen. It’s pretty much the PR equivalent of living in Fallout 3’s Megaton.

Anyway, so far, so typical celebrity PR deal. Then it gets worse.

According to UK tabloid The Sun, Heather Mills went on to demand 10 times the sum that Capcom offered (remember, she’s the one that wanted 10 million billion quid from Paul McCartney) and demanded that, um, she become the game’s lead character.

Heather Mills: Bionic Commando. I shit you not.

As you might expect, Capcom therefore decided to forget all about Mills and carried on being sensible. As you’d also expect, they weren’t too keen on basing an entire game around her. Let’s not even go into how a bionic leg wouldn’t work quite as well as a bionic arm for activities such as grappling far-away objects; you get the idea anyway. Complete no-no.

However, according to Mills’ Twitter The Sun was lying, and Capcom were cold-hearted buggers, refusing her offer of donating “a large sum to charity”. Wikipedia says that Mills also claimed to have won a “Outstanding Young Person of the Year Award” which, according to the UK press, didn’t actually exist. And she didn’t try to contest this. Um.

Let’s not forget she’s a friend of PETA, who’ve never been one to waste time on frivolities, spin bullshit out of nothing, be generally moronic or blow things out of proportion. Not at all.

I’m with the tabloid on this one. Money-grabbing and egoism? Not cool, kids. Not cool at all.

Source: The Sun via MCV

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