Once in a while, I find myself in a conversation about “the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever had.” While I do have my fair share of shining moments, there is one that will hopefully be on my top five for the rest of my life. Find out exactly where and how it relates to Saint’s Row 2: Ultor Exposed after the jump.

A little over three years ago, I decided to run some errands around town but needed to pay a visit to the little gamers’ room first. When finished, I washed my hands, walked out to my Jeep, and headed downtown.

My first stop was to a beauty supply store to pick up—well, what I was buying wasn’t important. The girl behind the counter was as friendly as I would have expected, if a little guarded, which was understandable given that she was the sole employee there. After she bagged my purchases, I put them in my Jeep and went next door to the game store.

I wandered around the game store for probably five minutes, reading boxes and watching the demos on the various television screens. While sifting through the bargain bin, a guy and his girlfriend came through the double doors, bringing a breeze with them. Now sometimes, a gentle breeze brings cool air that feels refreshing on your skin; however, when that breeze registers on your nether regions, “refreshing” is not the term for it.

Naturally, a brief moment of panic overwhelmed me when I realized that I must have forgotten to zip my trousers up fully. Quickly turning to a small corner where I felt inconspicuous, I coughed a little and did the classic “it looks like I’m adjusting my belt buckle, but I’m really checking my zipper” move. Panic very soon turned into horror as I realized that yes, indeed, my zipper was down—but more importantly, my man pieces were through the flap of my undergarments on full display, and obviously had been since I left the house.

Skinny dipping in the natural hot springs at 1 a.m. with friends doesn’t hold a candle to just how exposed I felt then (See? I told you I was coming back around to it!). I tucked myself back in, made a beeline for the egress, and never went back to either the beauty supply or game stores again.

You can imagine how exposed you would feel in the situation above, and given the title of this DLC pack, I wanted Ultor to feel my pain. Alas, I will not tell you the level of exposure they suffer, but I assure you that Ultor Corp. will not be caught with their zippers or pants down, and especially not with their junk hanging out.

More, on the next page.

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