Why did it have to end this way. I had such high hopes for us. I grew more and more excited as I knew our time to be together grew near. I waited by the phone in hopes that you would call (you didn’t.) I ran to the mailbox every day to see if you had written (you hadn’t.) After much disappointment over the lack of communication, last week we finally met and were together at last.
I have to be honest… you made me believe in love at first sight again. I’d given up on that cliche until you came into my life… gorgeous and confident as you are. You seemed to want me and I knew I wanted you. It was perfect… at first. To be honest, it seemed perfect for quite some time. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Love is a fickle thing you see and I tried hard to ignore the signs things weren’t perfect and almost succeeded until things fell apart catastrophically at the end.
The tragic story awaits you after the jump…
During our courtship phase, things were great. Our first date lasted 46 minutes and I only died twice. I’ve definitely been through worse! We were just getting used to each other and I think we can both agree there were no deal breakers in sight. I was so enamored by your every little detail.
Everything about you was so new and mesmerizing. You had a look about you. People were immediately drawn to you, after even a glance in your direction. I think you knew that too, as I noticed you show off a bit, but I didn’t really care because you were with me. The date was magical. It was such a good time… and man how it flew by. Before I knew it, we were on to our second date.
The second date seemed to pick up just where the first one left off. With no awkward introductions to slow us down, we were able to cut right to the chase. Our time together didn’t last as long as I’d hoped, and I died three times, but I still feel it was time absolutely well spent. You were still so very gorgeous and I was really getting used to how to handle you. You’re a smooth operator once a person gets to know you and tweak a thing here or there.
Yes! Yes is all I can exclaim! Our third date was back up to the level of our first date at around the 45 minute mark and once again, I only died twice. I would gladly give many lives for you my lovely Killzone 2 but thank you for sparing me such hardship and pain. We make such a wonderful team you and I. I feel we’re so close now that I can just think of something and you do it. You anticipate my each and every move. I feel we’re bonding on a subconscious level. I’ve waited so very long for something like this to happen to me. Killzone 2… I think… I’m falling for you.
Unfortunately, everything isn’t always perfect… read on to fully understand…
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Hmm…
LOL what do you do when you get owned online???
I like hard games IDK about you.
you died 116 times? What were you doing, wearing a neon sign saying “here i am shoot me?” i ran in every time and knife killed everyone, and i only died 14 times….
Rothbart, I’m afraid your loosing it…
I read that whole thing, and it was BORING….
I think this is some kind of sick smear campaign because you don’t want to buy Frawlz a sumo lounge…
oh Roth, I hope those scores are from an elite run though.
You had some good analogies though (not that I did not like soup)
Entertaining article. Rather predictable, but good.
I’m on the third last level and I don’t think I’ve died more than 3 times on any of the levels. Maybe you should have picked the easy setting Rothy
wow… a real psychiatrist might be in order…
P.S. – hope you have a sumo lounge picked out
this is why you have an easy mode for crap players. or players who quit a lot
Also you commited suicide 7 times that wasn’t killzone 2’s fault
This was hillarious! I read this in the middle of the night and laughed so hard that I woke the hole house. I
haha that was gold!!!!
wow, this blog is a pure piece of art.
very entertaining but not on the expense of the content.
i can say you made a big part of my day, not all of it!
That is probably the most boring, ongoing cliched piece of writing I have read thus far since coming to the SG Forums last year November. The game has it’s flaws, it was sluggish, hard and was a tough “lover” (as you have terribly put it) I’m not a person built for FPS games, but jesus, I played through it on the 2nd hardest difficulty and died less then you, I played it online and am fastly reaching General rank. If you are seriously this bad at KZ2, then in keeping with your afformentioned cliched analogy, you will continue to be hurt, and “played the fool” by every and any KZ iteration that doesn’t say “hey, I’m easy, I pose no challenge and offer no scope to get better at this game, I am THE CAKE WALK!”. I certainly hope the next article by you is better, I can hope.
Great article Roth. I disagree of course, but it’s still a great article. Just remember you started this war…
Reading this kinda reminds me of Mark from the Playstation Nation Podcast whining how ‘hard’ Killzone 2 was.
Due to the online being quite addictive I’ve only played the first level so far but I’m enjoying the hell out of it. Oh, and I’m on about 8 deaths on the hardest difficulty from that level alone due to some annoying rocket-whore of a helghast on the bit before the tank!
Doc can’t be one of the 32..the f%$# doesn’t even own a PS3…he must be poor!
Nice article, probably the most in depth review on SG ever!
…So basically you’re problems with the game are that 1) it has some difficult parts and 2) It has online multiplayer?
Eh.. I played the entire game on veteran, and i died 33 times in the last level..
you must suck at kz2 lol
dude, it was too long winded, it was like a bad pancake, hard on the outside and soggy in the middle with a bad aftertaste.
Good idea poorly executed and especially with the fact that your main complaint is that you are not very good at this game.
Thank god i skimmed.
I don’t buy this…
I’ve played the story twice, and my old stats went from 5 hours, (from the first run of the story) to about 3. My old statistics were erased…
I want more proof. [Tisk tisk]
OK that was crap, wtf is wrong with you?
pretty funny…….wait……on Trooper difficulty? dude, if you find Trooper that hard then you shouldn’t be playing fps game man, I didn’t even do that badly on Elite after beating Veteran. It’s a game that requires strategy and it’s unforgiving to the point where if you don’t have one of the right strategies and the skills to pull that plan off then you’re screwed.
pffft… toughen up sunshine, i can see from your photos you were only playing on trooper. i beat the sucker first play through on veteran, baby. suck on that.
oh yeah. i died. a lot. over 200 times going by the statistics. the last level would’ve claimed a lot of those. i don’t know, i relished the challenge. it was hard without being stupidly impossible (eg. the super hard modes of cod 4 & uncharted – yes, i know people beat them, but they’re insane).
now i’m playing through on elite. second level now. and yes, i imagine you would have to be utterly insane to get through visari’s palace on elite.
Nice article Roth, though it appears to be going over many people’s heads. For those who don’t quite get what he is trying to say, his complaint is is with the sudden, practically 90 degree, ramp in difficulty. I get his point, most of you obviously do not. It doesn’t matter what difficulty he played on, or how good he “appears” to be a t the game; regardless of his skill or overall ability, there is an obvious “skyrocket” in terms of the game’s difficulty curve when it comes to the finale.
Maybe this will help illustrate the inspiration for my light-hearted article (and yes, this is just MY experience… keep in mind I’m not an FPS addict, nor do I need any ego boosts by bragging of completing it on any certain skill level or within any set time limits.) I played it, I enjoyed it, I disliked the last level A LOT. YMMV.
http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m95/rothbart_photos/gcn_photos/KZ2_Deaths_per_Level.jpg
the last level took you THREE HOURS?? obviously you don’t suck, you did pretty well through most of the rest of it, definitely better than i did in many of the chapters… but WOW. I mean, radec gave me a lot of trouble too, it probably took me a half hour or so for just him. Is that even what gave you trouble? I’m really curious as to what caused that to happen. You should go more in depth about what was pissing you off and causing you to die so much.
…wow you suck. I didn’t even die 15 times lmao…
I didn’t see my count, but damn man, learn to take cover.
Rothbart’s got issues
Awesome article!
I hope you didn’t contact a computer virus from that whore.
haha wow! how many deaths on the last level? 64?
but yeah radec was hard!
Basically you are making a post that are disemboweling kz2, just because you had a hard time on the last level, ok sure you had it a little harder then most did but you need to remember, 1 level is not enough to make the game look bad in a post when all the levels that came before the last level was not complete donkey shit, and you got a hefty multiplayer on top on that. Still, i guess you made a point that the last level wasn’t completely intended for the casual sing-star player j/k. Bottom line, 1: level bad=not good enough, 2: if you even say that the eyes of helghast are too bright for your own liking, your getting flamed to 1995 windows beta, 3:(Follow up to point number 2) never fight fanboys. and ofc the ever painful number 4: Save up some money for a sumo lounge chair so frawls finally get his first furniture in his apartment!!1
moreover, giving a chair to a guy who really needs it is not that painful really.
Don’t look so sad Sean, i can feel it all the way over the Atlantic sea.., finally Frawls gets he’s first furniture to decorate second life(real life) moreover, Frawls wins something other that eating competitions.
i just skipped right to the end, i got the idea after the first “date”