Hey Lara!

Faith here. You remember me! Your darling little sprinting enthusiast? You favourite able-bodied bounder? We saw each other at E3 2008…

Well, I saw you. I don’t know that you paid much attention to me. Every time I looked over to your booth, you were either nonchalantly jogging past precipitous drops, scaling rugged rock faces or…well, the other times I couldn’t really see what you were doing — the guy filming you was terrible! Close-ups of trees, the inside of boulders and extreme zoom-ins on your scantily clad buttocks!  I was the girl with the black tank top, white cargo pants and red fingerless gloves. Even if you can’t remember, you know who I am now.

You see, I was thinking. We’re kind of similar. We’re both women, neither of us can shoot very well and we both jump, leap and soar over obstacles, gulfs and adversaries. Sure, you fight tigers and I fight guards, but they’re close enough, right?

I’m going to be blunt: I’m going to cut you open and get inside your skin, envelop your clothes with mine and then transform your world into a cold, clinical, patrolled conurbation. Calm down, calm down! It’s not that bad! Honestly, it’s better than it sounds. Besides, you have no choice…it’s already happened.

Look down for a second. See? No, grubby brown tank top or dangerously short shorts. White, red and black. You. Are. Me. Look up again. Tigers, plunging waterfalls, lush infrangible vines and glistening cool waters have been replaced with rails, crates, metal meshes and the occasional vivid colour.

I had no choice, ok?! I didn’t want to do this. A modder made me. One minute I was frolicking around an autocratic city and then, in a burst of code, I was…you.

The only thing I can do is give you five tips to help you survive — they sure helped me.

1. Jump
2. Duck
3. Slide
4. Bash
5. Jump

I’ve also written this letter on a special kind of paper we have here in the future: vid-paper. I’ve included a sample video of the things you can expect to be doing. You must adapt if you want to survive.

Your ever gadding friend,

Faith.

Source: YouTube

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