I am convinced that, in the future, all couples will have to pass a mandatory evaluation before they can produce offspring. This test will be introduced within the next decade after the U.S. government discovers that many individuals are simply too stupid to raise children or even tie their own shoes.

The Associated Press has reported that a six-year-old Virginian wrecked his family’s car while attempting to drive himself to school.   It was reported that the lad “learned to drive playing ‘Grand Theft Auto’ and ‘Monster Truck Jam’ video games.” Let’s see if he retains that scholastic enthusiasm in a decade. By the time I got to high school, I was looking for any possible excuse to keep my tail in bed. I used to pray that some freak storm would cause fire to rain down from the sky. I was never that lucky.

Fortunately, the incident didn’t result in any serious injuries.

According to the AP report:

He made at least two 90-degree turns, passed several cars and ran off the rural two-lane road several times before hitting an embankment and utility pole about a mile and a half from school.

State police said the boy suffered only minor injuries and authorities drove him to school after he was evaluated at a local hospital for a bump on his head.

The boy’s negligent parents have been relieved of their guardian duties. Though, I assume that this is temporary.

Why this child was allowed to play a “Grand Theft Auto” game is beyond me. The franchise, which is known for its mature themes and adult content, is clearly not suitable for a six year old. Were these parents too stupid to comprehend the ESRB’s rating system or did they knowingly purchase an uber-violent title for their son?

I generally don’t question other people’s parenting skills, but I am tired of reading about individuals who are less intelligent than a bowl of Frosted Flakes. I am not privy to the family’s home environment, but the boy’s mother and father are clearly unfit to raise children at this moment. Otherwise, their kids wouldn’t be living with strangers right now.

Politicians and anti-game advocates continually blame game designers and publishers when children obtain violent games, but I firmly believe that terrible parenting is the root of the problem.  Instead of focusing on legislation that would ban gory titles, perhaps public officials should invest in national training classes for uninformed parents. The program could be called: “How to keep inappropriate software away from your children.” There would be one class and it would last 20 minutes. The first 15 minutes would be devoted to the ESRB’s rating system, while the last five would consist of the repeated recitation of the word “no.”

Source: The Associated Press via GamePolitics