It’s pretty much the end of the world for me. The feature of Microsoft’s New Xbox Experience that I was most excited about is apparently not long for this world, as Netflix announces this morning that it has decided against being an Xbox Live feature, and will instead pursue what it feels is a more lucrative situation with Sony.
“It comes down to logistics,” explained a Netflix representative. “From the moment we launched with NXE our streaming movie servers have been ovverrun by new subsrcibers from Xbox Live. Yesterday, we were operating at 110% capacity on the main cluster and our hallmark DVD department was shipping more discs than the mail trucks could even hold. We’re drowning in customers, leaving us no choice but to go with a less stressful entertainement client.”
According to press materials provided to Sarcastic Gamer, Netflix will get their systems back into relative calms by crossing the aisle to instead pair itself with Sony on the Playstation Network.
“We welcome Netflix and applaud their decision,” said Sony’s Kyle Rogue. “We have assured them a safe and relatively quiet online environment where users are used to having lots of features they don’t use. Look at remote play!”
No word yet from Microsoft on replacing the Netflix functionality, though sources close to its Xbox division claim the company may simply buy Netflix itself to protect its market position.
“We make enough money on premium Vista support in an hour to buy that company three times over,” said our source. “Don’t make us whip out the giant checkbook.”
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Jesus Doc, you scared the crap out of me with that title.
Then I remembered it was Friday.
Double burn
1 for PS3 having less sales than the 360
2 for Microsoft’s notion that it needs to buy everything under the sun in order to stay ahead
Good one Doc.
^^^Second that^^^ I was like nooo…wait its friday. That was a good one
Doc, Remote Play is awesome and you’re an idiot if you think otherwise.
I heard that instead of using Netflix to share movies, Microsoft was making a deal with Kazaa so that everyone could share their music over Xbox Live. Kazaa – the only place to get more viruses than going to a hooker.
Harsh words Keith K… He wrote a FF article, it’s supposed to be a joke. Let’s take a step back and have some perspective dude.
You effing had me till the last line :@!
=]
Doc, you gave me a f***ing heart attack!
The whole “more customers then we can handle so were moving to Sony” bit was awesome!
I don’t have Netflix, but I first gaped at the title like everyone else did.
Nice work.
OMG. I am laughing my butt off right now. Funny funny story. Thank you guys so much for keeping me laughing.
Doc, you sunuva*****.
I’ve been tied up with clients all week and forgot what day it was. I actually called my wife freaking out and she reassured me it was a FF article.
Well done sir.
Wow. I’m surprised people still fall for the FF articles.
Awesome
Rothbart´s correction post in. . . 3. . . . 2. . . .1. . . . . .
Bravo Doc! Good one!
submit to n4g?
@ Doc
Something’s starting to tell me that you’re not a real doctor……..
I’ll get back to you when I have “conclusive” evidence.
well played, Doc, well played
This was awesome! Why was I the first one to digg it??
I am way glad I new it was friday, because I am sure I would have been hooked
I read through the whole article and then remembered it was Friday. Hilarious Doc, just hilarious.
I like the insults thrown in there too about the PS3. Great Article!
Doc, you are freaking evil. The headline scared the living hell out of me. It’s sad that we live in a world where a headline like that is possible.
I’ve got to be more prepare for thsi type of thing
Jeebus, I about shat bricks reading the title, glad i read the whole thing, was about to cancel my subscription. Then I remembered, oh yeah, “sarcastic” gamer.