Gene Simmons, I hate your old man face…

November 25th, 2008 at 12:00 pm · 8 Comments

Remember just a couple of weeks ago that we posted about this kick ass Gene Simmons Bass Guitar for Guitar Hero and Rock Band?  Yeah, we gushed over it in Episode 63 of the Sarcastic Gamer Red Show.

Turns out, it may not be all it’s cracked up to be… More details, after the jump.

IGN.com got its hot little hands on a Gene Simmons Bass Guitar for review and they were less than pleased. First off, it’s apparently constructed about as well as a Family Home built in a Brazilian shanty town.  They said:

“To give a clearer idea of how inordinately thin and light the design is, you can actually feel a significant weight difference between the AXE Guitar with and without batteries. The build materials are so thin and flimsy that the controller feels as if it would shatter if it isn’t treated with the utmost of care. Furthermore, the base is so light that the neck of the guitar outweighs it. As a result, when standing with the guitar the neck droops down if it isn’t being held at all times. The issue of the neck drooping during standing play is only worsened by the location of the guitar strap pins. Instead of being mounted on the sides of the guitar, one is mounted vertically to the top of the base and the other to the left side. Because of the awkward strap pins, the provided guitar strap loosens or becomes completely unattached during an average game session.”

Dang, so it’s not constructed that well… But does it play well? If it does, then heck, I’ll get it anyway.  Well, IGN said:

“The buttons are extremely low profile and are very loosely mounted to the neck. We found that without direct and centered button depression, the in-game response was completely inconsistent. In other words, if you don’t push firmly and on the absolute center of the fret buttons the notes will not always register with the console. One aspect we did like about the fret buttons, however, were their realistic fret dividers, which enable users to physically feel the difference between the buttons. The strum bar, which accounts for the other half of note response, is equally flimsy. Unlike most other guitar controllers, the Gene Simmons AXE Guitar Controller has no substantial click-resistance when it is depressed. The clicking sound is made when the strum bar is depressed but when it comes to physical resistance or snap-back response, the Gene Simmons AXE Guitar is completely devoid.”

CRAP! Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crappity crap.

Crap.

In a game, where performance is key, to have such an epic failure of a device is… extraordinary.  Thanks Gene.  Thanks for putting your stupid old man face on a turd and trying to sell it to us.

*middle finger*

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