A great man once said, “One must wield an awesome ax to party among the gods of shredding.” That individual? Me. Two seconds ago. Seriously, I just came up with that for this story.  Someone slap a trademark on that phrase.

As a fan of music games, I often say ax instead of plastic guitar. It just sounds so much cooler. Sadly, these peripherals aren’t equipped to slice bread, let alone sever a human appendage.  Believe me; I have tried and failed miserably. Though, I was able to leave a nasty bruise.

Fortunately, legendary rocker Gene Simmons has created a plastic guitar that deserves to be called an ax. The most kick ass plastic bass guitar you will ever see, after the jump.

Behold, the Gene Simmons AXE Guitar (with dongle), which Reuters reports will sport “Simmons’ superimposed autograph as well as his betongued likeness in full makeup.” The wireless controller, which is currently available here, will set you back $79.99. As of now, it is only compatible with “Guitar Hero” and “Rock Band” games on the PlayStation 2 and PlayStation 3, but Wii owners can look forward to picking up their own overpriced peripherals on Dec. 1. Though, that SKU will only be compatible with Activision’s money-printing franchise. Therefore, waggle box owners might want to wait until Jan. 31, when the “Rock Band”- and “Guitar Hero”-compatible guitar will release. There is currently no date set for the Xbox 360 AXE, but Hipstreet has confirmed its existence.

Personally, I think $80 is an insane amount of cash to spend on a plastic guitar peripheral. Granted, you would have spend just as much on the “Rock Band 2″ standalone guitars for the PS3 ($89.99) and 360 ($79.79), but it shouldn’t be too difficult to procure a “Guitar Hero III” Les Paul or original “Rock Band” guitar. In fact, Amazon currently sells the PS3 Les Paul and multiple Stratocasters for $49.99.

Regardless of the price tag, there will be those who jump at the opportunity to own an ax-shaped plastic guitar. You know, because it looks so awesome, and is a great way to impress chicks. Whatever, I am not here to tell you what to do with your money. The day I start mailing you checks is the day I get to dictate your purchases. Please, feel free to waste your money on this guitar that won’t make you more attractive, make your genitals bigger, or make your hair silky smooth.

Seriously, go for it. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Author’s note: All prices listed in this article were taken from Amazon.com

Source: Hipstreet via Reuters via Joystiq

Tweet This Post