I have a special place in my heart reserved for the NES “Mega Man” games. They seem to be the only games in which I can fail a hundred times, but still not lose my cool (read: hurl a controller against the nearest wall). No matter how many times I fall to Quick Man’s instant-death lasers or how many times I jump into a hole on the way to Plant Man, I always happily came back for more.

Thanks “Mega Man” creator Keiji Inafune, I get to return to that 8-bit land of death once more. Bless your kind heart sir.

The Blue Bomber’s 8-bit adventures dominated my childhood, as I vigorously attempted to quell Dr. Wily’s numerous plots at world domination. “Mega Man 9,” which was released on WiiWare yesterday, is a revival of those glory days. The title might be a brand new game, but it sports the old-school look and feel of the franchise’s initial six outings. This means that, in addition to an awesome soundtrack and addictive 2D platforming, the game is unapologetically difficult. It will kick your ass and invite you back for more. And I am happy to oblige.

With three hours under my belt, I have dispatched five of the game’s eight robot masters. Granted I am making progress, but I have yet to face the green deer, Crystal Man’s younger sibling or that bug guy. This is not due to a lack of effort, but the lack of an ability to safely traverse lengthy abysses and spike-laden floors.

Keiji Inafune, seemingly not satisfied with making a difficult action-platformer, has added a few challenges to the Blue Bomber’s latest 8-bit adventure. These tasks, which are completed throughout the course of the game, include standard objectives like beating the game and defeating one hundred enemies. However, while some of the challenges are easily attainable, there are some that will drag your soul through Hades and piss on the ashes. For instance, one of the challenges requires you to beat the game in “60 minutes or less.” Apparently, I missed out on that one two hours ago. Oh well, I guess I will have to shoot for the “120 minutes or less goal.” Wait…damn! Perhaps I should just focus on making it through the game. Other notable challenges include beating the game without getting hit, completing the story “five times in one day” (how about once in a year?) and clearing the game without falling into a chasm/abyss/big ass hole in the ground.

“Mega Man 9″ isn’t completely devoid of all hope. There are some helpful items that will aid gamers in their quests to once again foil Dr. Wily’s world domination scheme. I might be jumping to conclusions, but we all know that he, not Dr. Light, is the mastermind behind this plot. That loony bastard just doesn’t know when to call it quits. Perhaps he should be a role model for us all. Not for his nefarious ideals, but for his never-say-die attitude.

“Goonies” references aside, Inafune did throw gamers a few bones. For instance, there are bolts scattered throughout each level that can be traded for items in the in-game store. These items include energy canisters and extra lives. Or, you could just splurge your hard-earned currency on the Roll costume or helmet-less Mega Man. Nothing screams awesome like fighting unruly robots with your black hair flowing in the wind.

In addition to franchise mainstays like Roll and Dr. Light, Rush, the Blue Bomber’s trusty canine companion, also returns in “Mega Man 9.” His Rush Coil and Rush Jet upgrade are essential for grabbing those hard-to-reach screws and traversing those lengthy abyss-laden areas.

The not so good stuff?  Read on.

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