Occasionally, you come across a game that seems too absurd to be real. Like Too Human, I kid.  Sometimes, despite an accompanying press release for the game, you’ll find it unfathomable that such a title exists.  That is how I felt when I stumbled upon “DQ Tycoon,” a videogame based on the popular chain restaurant.

Hit the jump for the deliciously atrocious details.

Apparently, the geniuses at GameMill Entertainment and Spark Plug Games want to bring the joy of making Blizzards to PC owners, not currently employed by one of America’s favorite heart attack-inducing eateries. “DQ Tycoon,” which is described as a “time management casual game,” will be available for public consumption starting December 1.

According to the press release posted on Kotaku:

Throughout the game, players will create Blizzard treats, dip Dilly Bars, and decorate the popular DQ Cakes. After hours, the player will manage the operation of up to four DQ stores, upgrading machines, managing staff, and keeping business running smoothly.

Brian Kirkvold, the executive producer for GameMill Entertainment, said, “Our goal is to create an entertaining game that also embraces the rich history of Dairy Queen and its place within the community.”

Call me a pessimist, but I think all hope of “an entertaining game” was crushed as soon as the title was conceived.

Honestly, there are certainly worse things you could do with your time. For instance, you could actually eat at one of the chain’s many restaurants. I defy you to consume a Flamethrower burger without feeling the Grim Reaper’s icy grip tickle your heart. It is impossible. I am surprised that the company hasn’t injected a combination of sour cream and mozzarella cheese into the buns of their sandwiches. Pizza Hut already put cheese into pizza crust. I fully expect another fast food chain to take the extra step.

I have seen some ridiculous software in the past, but this one takes the ice cream cake. What is next? Is someone going to develop a game based on Gattiland?  While I enjoy the occasional trip to the popular pizza buffet, I certainly hope not. Though, the ability to arrange a salad bar sounds pretty exciting.

Hopefully, “DQ Tycoon” will appease PC gamers disappointed by the announcement that Epic will not develop “Gears of War 2″ for their platform of choice. I doubt it, but there is something strangely appealing about making sugar-laden treats for virtual customers.

Source: Kotaku