Occasionally, you come across a game that seems too absurd to be real. Like Too Human, I kid. Sometimes, despite an accompanying press release for the game, you’ll find it unfathomable that such a title exists. That is how I felt when I stumbled upon “DQ Tycoon,” a videogame based on the popular chain restaurant.
Hit the jump for the deliciously atrocious details.
Apparently, the geniuses at GameMill Entertainment and Spark Plug Games want to bring the joy of making Blizzards to PC owners, not currently employed by one of America’s favorite heart attack-inducing eateries. “DQ Tycoon,” which is described as a “time management casual game,” will be available for public consumption starting December 1.
According to the press release posted on Kotaku:
Throughout the game, players will create Blizzard treats, dip Dilly Bars, and decorate the popular DQ Cakes. After hours, the player will manage the operation of up to four DQ stores, upgrading machines, managing staff, and keeping business running smoothly.
Brian Kirkvold, the executive producer for GameMill Entertainment, said, “Our goal is to create an entertaining game that also embraces the rich history of Dairy Queen and its place within the community.”
Call me a pessimist, but I think all hope of “an entertaining game” was crushed as soon as the title was conceived.
Honestly, there are certainly worse things you could do with your time. For instance, you could actually eat at one of the chain’s many restaurants. I defy you to consume a Flamethrower burger without feeling the Grim Reaper’s icy grip tickle your heart. It is impossible. I am surprised that the company hasn’t injected a combination of sour cream and mozzarella cheese into the buns of their sandwiches. Pizza Hut already put cheese into pizza crust. I fully expect another fast food chain to take the extra step.
I have seen some ridiculous software in the past, but this one takes the ice cream cake. What is next? Is someone going to develop a game based on Gattiland? While I enjoy the occasional trip to the popular pizza buffet, I certainly hope not. Though, the ability to arrange a salad bar sounds pretty exciting.
Hopefully, “DQ Tycoon” will appease PC gamers disappointed by the announcement that Epic will not develop “Gears of War 2″ for their platform of choice. I doubt it, but there is something strangely appealing about making sugar-laden treats for virtual customers.
Source: Kotaku
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My god….
I had to make sure it wasn’t friday.
i thought the same deathbywaffle
“this is too stupid to be real, maybe it’s fiction monday”
So is Made-Up Monday going to be a tradition now?
I thought the same as both of you. seriously, Dairy Queen. What’s next, “McDonalds’s Cashier”?
I thought to myself really quick if it was Friday and to my surprise it’s Monday. I must have this game.
DQ had to do something with the surplus franchise training materials.
@defleopard98
SHHHHHH don’t give them ideas
Is this real? If so sadly I’m not at all surprised. The “Tycoon” series will do anything to make an easy buck.
Hey, guys.
I know I’m three months late into the conversation, but I’m just letting everyone on this board know that DQ Tycoon just came out today on Big Fish Games’s website, and after trying it myself, all I can say is that it’s every bit as bad as you all had feared. Not only does the protagonist Emily move slower than a slug in molasses, but you can’t upgrade her speed one bit. Worse yet, the shake and Blizzard machines and the soda fountain all run just as slowly, and you’re forced to stand at a given machine when it is until its product comes out in your hand–true to life, I suppose, but not at all practical for the game itself. This is especially true considering how impatient the customers get when so much as waiting in line, much less waiting for their order. Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes…they move pretty sluggishly, too.
Honestly, this game is so terrible, it makes me want to go play Yo! Noid or McKids for the NES instead. Sure, those games were marketing ploys in and of themselves, but at least they were FAR more playable and fun than this glorified steaming dog turd. You want a fun food-based TMG, casual gamers? Try Turbo Pizza by Alias Games and Oberon Media/I-Play instead.