Though not widely publicized by the mainstream press, this year’s Olympic Games in Beijing mark the beginning of a new era. It is the first year that a video game (Halo 3) has been included as an official medal event. Teams from around the world are going for the gold in both deathmatch and capture the flag competitions that begin on Monday, at China’s Boika Stadium for Technological Events.
Among those competitors are a group of 6 athletes who, despite their demure behavior, carry the hopes and dreams of a nation on their shoulders. They are the members of the Vatican City Olympic Halo 3 Team.
“In our country, Halo 3 has replaced exorcism a national pastime,” said Vincent Paul Rotocelli, the team’s coach. “It is with very high hopes that we arrive here in China for the Olympics. While our country doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in perguatory of winning any actual athletic events, we feel that in Halo we are as good as anyone else.”
Olympic rules dictate that a participant in the games must be a legal citizen of the country that they represent, however, many competitors live and work within the United States and Great Britain on visas and/or dual citizenship arrangements. The Vatican City Halo 3 team is no exception.
Jonathan Johnson has lived in Des Moines, Iowa all his life, but a message on Xbox Live got his attention during a marathon session of Halo 3.
“It was the Pope, gamertag IWAREZbigHATZ, and he said he saw my leaderboard stats and was wondering if I would compete on behalf of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in Beijing,” he said. “I’m Catholic, so what was I going to say? No?”
While some countries such as the US have very stringent citizenship requirements, others like Vatican City have been subject to a sort of international backlash over their seemingly random immigration criteria for Olympic athletes. Despite this uproar, the competitors seem committed to a solid performance.
“We’re going to bring home the Gold for our peeps back in the VC,” said Tercel Muhammed of Detroit, Michigan.
He converted from Islam to Catholicism specifically for this special event.
“I can’t wait to show G-Pope the bling when we get back! It’s gonna match his scepter like mad perfect!”
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Holy blessings are sure to guarantee ultimate bragging (and fragging) rights.
“It was the Pope, gamertag IWAREZbigHATZ”
Ok, that’s pretty friggin funny
That’s hilarious lol. Is it called “fragging” in Halo?
lol, I’ll get my squad together to face them.
I’m pretty offended by this.
I am a devout Catholic and you most definitely need to stop posting about the Pope and the Vatican in such ways. Its extremely disrespectful and although I am an avid Halo fan, I don’t think the Pope would speak so uncharitably.
@Gilver:
He means no offense at all. In fact, as I recall, Doc thinks the Vatican is pretty cool.
Vatican=cool
Pope=cool
Halo=cool
Now, I’m not catholic, but I am of the Christian faith. I think I see how you could be offended, but it is Fiction Friday, and should be taken with a grain of salt.
Also, you don’t think the Pope would play anything besides Halo, do you? It’s full of religious symbolism and it’s easily the most fun game on Xbox 360 to date.
Oh my god,
I wonder who has already changed their gamertag to IWAREZbigHATZ
@Gilver, I go to church every week, attend a catholic school, and pray every night before I go to bed. This is funny, this isn’t supposed to “bash” the pope.
Good Story Doc! Epic win.
YOU BLOODY BASTARDS!! i was so happy when i started reading this then i realized that this was fiction friday.
i fell for it so dam hard.
sad face…….
Like the Halo series have been based on the Bible because obviously the creators of it were devout Christians and we should be proud that they made such a great combat game when catholics and protestants wanted a game like that!!!
Also I got all the Halo gamez yay for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:)
Brothers, it is meant to be fun! Surely, in this day, Pope Benedict would see this and laugh! “Te Devum lavdamvs,” is that not what we profess? “We worship God!” God creates for good. It is us under the influence of sin that makes it bad. We can glorify Him by enjoying these games and continuing to simply have fun. The more saintly we become, the less we will be offended by anything. If we praise God, games will be nothing but joy for our brothers and sisters!