In a surprise move this morning, Valve’s president Gabe Newell crashed rival Id’s QuakeCon ‘08 event to announce to the world that Valve is STILL not a Playstation 3 developer. According to an unnamed insider, Valve has spotters scheduled to attend every major gaming event for the next 24 months and have streamlined a system to have Gabe Newell on the ground, speaking negatively about Playstation 3 development within 6.25 hours. If someone high up in gaming (like Id’s John Carmack) says anything that can possibly be considered as a negative toward PS3 development, you can bet Gabe Newell will be there shortly to back you up with an “Amen, brother!” as well as his now-aging spiel.

Sarcastic Gamer is devising a plan to stage several faux press conferences at major events in an effort to “play with” Gabe Newell. At PAX later this month, we’ve schedule a panel discussion titled “Difficulties associated with PS3 Development” and will rig the doors with buckets of water on top and those little string poppers tied to the doorhandles. We figure Newell looks like an enthusiast of what we call “an unhealthy lifestyle” and with the combination of running him ragged from fake event to fake event combined with the repeated shock value of having pranks set up against him at each location, we should be rid of him in 14-18 months at which time we expect Valve to not only embrace the PS3, but proclaim that FINALLY, they are a PS3 developer.

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