
We’ve had an anonymous tip from a member of the Sarcastic Gamer Community about one of our very own writers demonstrating unacceptable behaviour, completely out of line with Sarcastic Gamer guidelines. We’re not sure whether it’s true or not, as it doesn’t sound right at all..since it’s Friday we’ll stick it up. You be the judge!
Yamster, Sarcastic Gamer’s shaggy-haired Scottish contributor, was reported to be stunned, shocked, and almost repulsed with himself after he reported that he ENJOYED a game on a Nintendo console. The writer was said to be in minor shock following an extended play session of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, the latest incarnation of the button-mashing franchise, and expressed his disbelief at finding a game he could genuinely enjoy on the Nintendo Wii.
More on this potentially groundbreaking news after the jump.
“I…I just can’t believe it.” So were the words of Yamster, one of the newest additions to the Sarcastic Gamer team following his successful front page appearances with articles from his community blog in early June. “It was actually..fun, y’know? Like, it was almost as if I was playing Lego Indiana Jones, Buzz!: Quiz TV, y’know..fun games. Easy, accessible, enjoyable, genuinely fun games. It just doesn’t add up. Sarcastic Gamer doesn’t really do Nintendo, but I’ve gone and broken the chain.”
In previous attempts to play the Nintendo Wii, Yamster has only managed to play for ten or fifteen minutes at a time before his already-lacklustre enthusiasm disappears completely and he disappears, retiring to his quarters for a session on his PlayStation 3. Similar situations have risen from the Nintendo DS, where the Scot has attempted to train his brain for a few minutes before coming to the conclusion that his IQ wasn’t rising but in fact the complete opposite.
However, when it was suggested that he play Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Yamster approached the controller with much cynicism, ready to shoot down another game on the family-oriented console. After all, in his own words “Wii Fit is a gimmick and there’s just no depth or subtleties at all to anything the console offers”. Much to his surprise, Yamster immediately bonded with Pikachu and was soon hammering away at every button available for a 3-hour playing session, emerging from the room pale-faced and dry-throated, hoarsely whispering that “it was the most fun [he'd] had in a while”.
“It’s so simple, with about 3 buttons to learn, but it’s-it’s..it’s just unbelievable fun. Just tapping this and that would make my little Pikachu shock everyone in a 3 metre radius, then I tap something else and he goes charging across the entire map..it’s just more fun than logic allows. It’s not fair! Nintendo’s not allowed to be that fun!”
We’re not sure whether this is true or not, but fingers crossed. Sarcastic Gamer wont stand for favourable Nintendo coverage, and you’d better not be going against our sacred guidelines, Yamster. Otherwise, ole buddy-boy, you’re in a whole heap of trouble!

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8 responses so far ↓
1 Eoco // Jul 11, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Phew! For a second there I thought there was gonna be DS coverage. That was a close one.
2 JameZDeadman // Jul 11, 2008 at 3:47 pm
whoa…this is shocking…i never though that yamster could…OMG.
3 Pablos102030 // Jul 11, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Wow. Thank goodness it’s fiction friday.
4 Havok Saunders // Jul 11, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I didn’t know Yamster was the inspiration for the SG logo.
5 Luckey // Jul 11, 2008 at 4:28 pm
well at least the name nintendo is in there…its a start…
6 heavenlyyeti // Jul 11, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I’m calling it false. I mean, Yamster is the biggest fanboy of anything I’ve ever seen. Seriously.
7 Jacob816 // Jul 11, 2008 at 7:05 pm
The only way that this would be acceptable would be if Yamster played as Snake.
8 HeavenlyYeti // Jul 11, 2008 at 7:27 pm
@jacob816:
ROFLcopter! XD
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