I’m getting sick and tired of something and frankly, that’s why I’ve got this column… to vent about things. What am I sick and tired of now? I’m sick of people using the term “kiddie games” in a derogatory sense when the game(s) they’re otherwise referring to are top notch in design. It’s a shallow and thoughtless remark that (I’m guessing here) makes them feel somehow better about themselves and their testosterone-fueled bloody, mature gorefest games that they think I _should_ be playing. You know what? Shove it. If I said I just saw and enjoyed Cars or The Incredibles you probably wouldn’t be flicking me crap, so why is this any different?!

The saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” couldn’t be more applicable here. Bright colors, cute mascot-like characters, non-violent gameplay, happy music… none of those things “make” a game bad, so why the use of “kiddie game” to describe them? Would it be appropriate for me to stand you next to Mr. Universe and call you “womanlike” in comparison? Would that make you feel good? I think the thing you guys are missing is that I don’t like a cute game BECAUSE it’s cute (although that can’t really hurt it in my opinion), I like it for what it is. Do I look at Ratchet & Clank Future and see Ratchet as a cute, cuddly, furry Lombax? Do I ohh and ahh over the cutesy little robot Clank? No. I enjoy the gameplay, the storyline, the humor, and you know what? The game just happens to have a fair amount of cuteness and family appeal to it.

LittleBigPlanet has been criticized by even one of my co-hosts of the Blu Show as being “a kids game.” I can assure you, if LittleBigPlanet had all the cuteness taken out of it and came out themed like Nightmare Before Christmas instead, awww wait… that’d still be kinda cute. Ok, if it had the cuteness taken out and had more realistic little people in there then… wait… I think that’d be kinda cute too. Animals? Nah, cute… Aliens? Cute.

Ok, so maybe the cuteness is inseparable from LittleBigPlanet, but that’s not the reason I’m drawn to the game. To be honest, what first drew me to the game was the lighting system they’ve developed. It gave everything that “real world” look. That, combined with the realistic materials they used for their objects, the levels just come off looking like an awesome mixed-media art project… and then you can PLAY them. The fact that the Sackboy character is cute and they’ve continually produced cute levels to show off the game is icing on the cake (and fuel a pretty impressive looking marketing campaign if you ask me.)

If I was somehow mesmerized by a game simply because it was a “kiddie game” then wouldn’t I be running around playing all the garbage developers pump out for the kids? When in the hell did “platformer” become equated with “kiddie game”? I mean I realize Mario games have pretty much always had the cute look to them, but again… if you make a good platformer, I’ll play it. I’m not playing it because Princess Peach is in it. I think a lot of folks simply prefer other genres… say, gun-filled first-person games… and it’s easy for them to look at popular (and cute) examples of platformers and equate them together, but I really think that’s a shallow assessment of the games. There are a lot of cutesy RPGs out there, but they don’t see to get stuck with the kiddie label.

I’m amazed at the number of people that just seem to “accept” the notion that as a kid you’re supposed to play platformers and as you “grow up” you’re just expected to move to the bloody/gory first person shooters like Halo, COD, etc. Are we really equating blood and gore to maturity here? Are we really saying that Rated M games are all that’s acceptable for a “normal” adult game player?

I’m reminded of the SNL skit I saw where a guy died and went to heaven and God offered to answer any questions about his life and he started asking funny statistical questions about his life such as “What was the 3rd grossest thing I ever ate?” I wonder, if given the opportunity to look back at the typical person’s game playing habits over their entire lifespan how they’d look. I could see at an early age people preferring simple games, beat-em-ups, intentional children’s games, etc. The premise of platformers is often very simple, so sure, there are a lot of platforming elements in children’s games. (let’s not mistake children’s games being platformers for meaning the reverse is true.) I bet there’s a peak in early adolescence where the gorier and bloodier the better, then as they age, that tendency would wane a bit. As the enter parenthood, I’m betting it wanes even more as you’ve already killed (and been killed) thousands of times (now in beautiful high definition.) As their kids get old enough to watch their parents play (and eventually play games themselves) are they more likely to trend toward games that are more family friendly? I would say for a significant chunk of people that’s probably true. For the readers of this site? I’d argue the large majority aren’t there yet so their take is going to be skewed…

So to any of the “haters” out there… take a minute to really look at your off-the-cuff criticisms of games and even genres as a whole and see if you REALLY think you’re doing yourself justice by publicly making comments like that or if you might be sending out “I’m not mature enough to know better” vibes to those of us that have already been there. Equally inaccurate blanket statements could be made about YOUR favorite genres at the drop of a hat… although they’d be just as invalid as the ones I’m talking about. At the very least, I’d hope that you would have played a game first hand and had reasons other than art style to call a game a “kiddie” game.

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