(SYDNEY - SG)  Earlier today, a Quantas flight enroute from Hong Kong to Melbourne was forced to make an emergency landing in the Phillipines after substantial portion of its outer skin peeled off mid-flight.  The cabin immediately depressurized and oxygen masks dropped from the cieling, sending several passengers into a controlled panic.  That’s when Quantas’ new, and until now secret, Passenger Pacification Plan (PPP) went into effect.

“Most people didn’t notice the extra drop-down door over their heads,” said a Quantas spokesperson.  “It’s small and deploys independently once we have ascertained that the plane is under control.”

What came out of that door surprised all but the flight’s expertly trained crew.

“I had just fastened my oxygen mask around my face, and was overcome with panic,” said a passenger seated towards the back of the plane.  “Then there were all of these clicks.  They started in the front and came toward us in the rear of the plane, as hundreds of Wii-motes dropped from the cieling into the laps of all of the passengers.”

Immediately, the seatback screens flicked off of the normal map and eta displays and were replaced by an unexpected sight.  The welcome screen of a Nintendo Wii.

“The flight attendants then got on the speaker with their Wii-Motes and demonstrated how to use the devices,” said another passenger.

Before long passengers busied themselves in Wii Sports challenges, and most said it helped them feel better.  But not everyone shared the sentiment.

One passenger, a man who wishes to be called only Don, told us his experience differed significantly.

“I wanted to play what everyone else was playing but all I got was Wii Music.  I didn’t even think that game was out yet.  I tried it, but honestly after a few minutes I found myself so bored that I actually considered taking off my yellow breathing cup and letting myself black out.”

Quantas says that by Q2 2009 it plans to have it’s entire fleet PPP-ready.

“We learned a lot from this close call,” said the company spokesperson.  “But the most important lesson was that even in the most dire circumstances, people really just want to bowl.”

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