As a tri-console owner, meaning that I own an Xbox 360, PS3, and a Wii, I feel like I’m getting the best of every world. For those that haven’t picked up a “next-gen” console or “current-gen” for all of you “gen” snobs, you may want to know what the heck you’re getting yourself into if you buy a Wii.
So, here I am to save the day. Click the jump to learn everything you’ll ever need to know about being a Nintendo owner. Check out my Microsoft experience here and my Sony Experience here.
Enjoy!
So, you have kids, love everything “Nintendo,” have a Mario tramp stamp, but haven’t actually found a Wii in a store yet… Here’s what you’re in for, IF you ever get a Nintendo Wii.
- First, nintendo boy, you’ve got to find one. That will be the most difficult part. I suggest beginning in the deepest, darkest part of the Amazon, where the native Wii have gone unseen for decades… You mind as well start there, cause the odds of finding a Wii in the Amazon are about the same as finding one at Best Buy in the U.S.
- Being a Wii owner means never having to worry about upgrading to that new-fangled HD TV you had your eyes on. The Wii is straight SD, all the way baby.
- Being a Wii owner means that chicks won’t automatically think you’re a big dork when you mention gaming on a Wii.
- Being a Wii owner means never having to buy a game for the system. The Wii, if you find one, comes packed in with the only good game ever made for it, Wii Sports.
- Upon becoming a Wii owner you can listen to Reggie Fils-Aime brag about how freaking rich he is, because of you.
- If you become a Wii owner, you’ll be the life of the party at the fish fry at the local Retirement Home.
- If you become a Wii owner, you’ll have something to talk about with 8 year olds in your neighborhood again. Probably not a good thing… Why is Dateline’s Chris Hansen here?
- Look can look forward to becoming acquainted with your favorite neurologist, who’s treats your tennis elbow every week.
- Being a Wii owner means being part of “the Fad.” Bring along your pet rock, sucker, Reggie’s waiting.
Well, there you have it. The question you have to ask yourself is, do you want to be a Nintendo Wii owner? Do you want to be one of “us?” Part of the fad? The ladies are waiting.
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17 responses so far ↓
1 iwishihadanxbox // Jul 30, 2008 at 10:13 am
Oh, Lono xD the wii isn’t THAAAAAT bad, I mean, there’s Chicken Shoot, Deep Ocean and WII FIT!! (but on a non-sarcastic note: There are less than 10 good games : ( )
2 Havok Saunders // Jul 30, 2008 at 10:13 am
“The Wii, if you find one, comes packed in with the only good game ever made for it, Wii Sports.”
And with that, let the flood of angry messages begin.
3 Lono // Jul 30, 2008 at 10:14 am
yeah, Boom blox is good too…
Ok, so two good games.
4 Yousty // Jul 30, 2008 at 10:38 am
Add in Mario, Zelda and Metroid and that brings the number up to five. Unfortunately that’s where you can stop counting because those are the only five really good games on Wii.
And this is coming from one of the biggest Nintendo loyalists out there.
5 Lono // Jul 30, 2008 at 10:39 am
Can’t do that Yousty. You’ve gone too far.
6 Yousty // Jul 30, 2008 at 10:54 am
Haha, I know you hate the Wii like a deformed stepchild, but there’s no way you can honestly say that Mario Galaxy, Zelda Twilight Princess and Metroid Prime 3 aren’t really good games.
I know they’re not in the same category as your shoot, shoot, kill, shoot, kill, shoot, die, repeat repeatedly games, but they all are really great single player games.
7 Makidian // Jul 30, 2008 at 10:56 am
Craigslist is a good place to look also, after you weed out the scams and crazies you can find a pretty good deal and most come with at least two or three games(not Wii Sports)
8 Keith K // Jul 30, 2008 at 11:11 am
Man.. That picture.. It says so much more about the “Wii Experience” than Reggie ever could.
9 GamesAreFun // Jul 30, 2008 at 1:49 pm
I got my Wii easily. Just wet to Circut City, ordered it, and came back in a week to pick it up. I may not have gotten it instantly, but I got it, and I didn’t need to look for it like I’m on a quest for El Dorado.
10 Lono // Jul 30, 2008 at 2:02 pm
@GamesAreFun: Nobody likes a bragger.
11 lwelyk // Jul 30, 2008 at 4:51 pm
There are more good games for the Wii.
Zack and Wiki
Metroid Prime 3
Twilight Princess
Super Mario Galaxy
Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn
Mario Kart Wii
Super Mario Bros. Brawl
Trauma Center: Second Opinion
Trauma Center: New Blood
Super Paper Mario
Wario Ware Smooth Moves
Okami
Unfortunately NoA sucks and hasn’t even advertised some of their first party stuff. And there hasn’t been a good wii game in a loooong time… I’m hoping they’ll improve, but it’s not looking good for this year.
12 Alfredo Silva // Jul 30, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Oooh C’mon. This’s the best you can do? Your first articles were great, fun and clever, this one is lame and boring. What happened to you Sarcastic gamer? What happened?
13 kman571 // Jul 30, 2008 at 6:56 pm
@Iwelyk
You can add No More Heroes and Super Paper Mario to that list.
That’s really a decent list of good games for just under 2 years and it seems just as long as the PS3’s list of good games IMO.
14 Grantly // Jul 30, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Great article Lono, though I have to disagree with you on the good games section. Mario Galaxy , Zelda, Trauma Center, Super Paper Mario,Zack & Wicki, Metroid Prime 3, Fire Emblem, No More Heroes, Smash Bros, Boom Blox, and Mario Kart are all awesome Wii exclusives. Besides, it has Animal Crossing. And of course game of the year, Shaun White Snowboarding.
15 BoxOfFun // Jul 31, 2008 at 9:31 am
Really only 5 good games? I have 53 games for the Wii; all of them have at least 79% average score.
16 BoxOfFun // Jul 31, 2008 at 9:34 am
Also, Wii Fit. It works, stop insulting it because it isn’t on your favorite console.
17 iBrick // Jul 31, 2008 at 5:32 pm
The Wii has a much different target audience, and that’s very much reflected in their selection of “good” games. Still, overall, you’d have to pull your head out of Reggie’s ass to see that Xbox and PS3 both offer a better selection of better games.
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