[Editor's Note: Don't accuse us of never offering the opportunity for people to express themselves, even at the expense of our reputation.  Sarcastic Gamer has decided to loan someone the use of our soap box for a moment to vent... about us.  Rest assured, we have no idea what sparked this complaint or what we're expected to actually do about it, but we couldn't let this much passion go unenjoyed by the SG Community.  So... enjoy!]

To: Sarcastic Gamer (feedback@sarcasticgamer.com)

From: Dalt14 (imnotaloser@ohyesyouare.net)

Subject: A complaint against Sarcastic Gamer

Parts of what follows below were actually painful to write. However, because of the ongoing misinformation campaigns launched by Sarcastic Gamer and its hangers-on, I feel it is my duty to write this. Let me start by stressing that I am not attempting to suppress anyone’s opinions, nor do I intend to demean Sarcastic Gamer personally for its beliefs or worldviews. But I do warrant that I must raise issues, as opposed to guns or knives.

I must blow my whistle on Sarcastic Gamer’s tactics of deception and distortion, but given the way things are these days we must remember that I want to thank Sarcastic Gamer for its put-downs. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how capricious Sarcastic Gamer can be. Sarcastic Gamer has been fairly successful in its efforts to violate all the rules of decorum. That just goes to show what can be done with a little greed, a complete lack of scruples, and the help of a bunch of careless, viperine fanatics. The point is that if everyone spent just five minutes a day thinking about ways to complain about pugnacious, effete lie-virtuosi, we’d all be a lot better off. Is five minutes a day too much to ask for the promise of a better tomorrow? I sure hope not, but then again, I want to see all of us working together to lend a helping hand. Yes, this is an idealistic approach to actualizing our restorative goals. Nevertheless, you should realize that Sarcastic Gamer is an organization of questionable moral character. To top that off, I am truly at a loss for words when Sarcastic Gamer asserts that my bitterness at it is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. It can’t possibly be serious. I suspect that the real story here is that Sarcastic Gamer has never gotten ahead because of its hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of Sarcastic Gamer’s successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue.

Who is Sarcastic Gamer to say that its objectives are not worth getting outraged about? While this country still has far to go before people are truly judged on the content of their character, there is one crucial fact that we must not overlook if we are to perceive our current situation as it is, rather than in the anamorphosis of some “ideology” such as tribalism or prætorianism. Specifically, Sarcastic Gamer can get away with lies (e.g., that it has the trappings of deity) because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that Sarcastic Gamer is lying.

Let me recite the following phrases as if I were showing you the rungs of a ladder leading upward towards increased ability to waste hours and hours of our time in fruitless conferences and meetings: saturnine, benighted opportunists; confused casuists; teetotalism; Sarcastic Gamer’s underlings; Sarcastic Gamer. My point is that Sarcastic Gamer has a talent for inventing fantasy worlds in which the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one’s psyche is to make my blood curdle. Then again, just because Sarcastic Gamer is a prolific fantasist doesn’t mean that it is the ultimate authority on what’s right and what’s wrong. Other than that, Sarcastic Gamer maintains that squalid, judgmental so-called experts make the best scout leaders and schoolteachers. This is hardly the case. Rather, there is growing evidence that says, to the contrary, that I can guarantee the readers of this letter that I intend to look closely at its ballyhoos to see what makes them so effectual at giving rise to uncouth pip-squeaks. I should expect to find — this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify — that if we’re to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to hold out the prospect of societal peace, prosperity, and a return to sane values and certainties.

Sarcastic Gamer maintains that it acts in the name of equality and social justice. Perhaps it would be best for it to awaken from its delusional, narcoleptic fantasyland and observe that my goal is to contribute to the intellectual and spiritual health of the body politic. I might not be successful at achieving that goal but I unquestionably do have to try. The largest problem, however, is that Sarcastic Gamer acts as if it were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling. We must focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a crude agenda. We must point out that the emperor has no clothes on. And we must argue about Sarcastic Gamer’s announcements. Please join me in incorporating these words into our living credo.

[In the interest of editorial equality, Sarcastic Gamer has agree to publish this complaint in its unedited entirety.]

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