Editor’s Note: Sarcastic Gamer Community member Toshi post this humorous account to his User Blog. Thanks Toshi!
I work with a dyed in the wool gamer who would give up gaming entirely if he couldn’t use his precious PC . While it’s fun having someone to talk games with, his arrogant attitude makes me want to smash his keyboard over his head. He talks unending amounts of trash about how he’s a gaming god (slight exaggeration, but he’s pretty confident that he’s amazing), or how his computer is the ultimate and only gaming machine. There’s no respect for ANY console out there.
He hates the PS3, Xbox 360, even my PSP. With all the trash talking he does though, he’s a big fan of Rock Band and most of the Wii games, but he still refuses to acknowledge that they’re any good. My problem is that I have a hard time buying that’s he’s that good. If he was that good he’d be able to hop onto the console and put up a fight. I know I console game all the time, so he might not put up much of a fight since he’s not used to the controller and I am, but he should at least be able to hit me.
We had a small party a month or so ago and I managed to get him to hop on the Wii. I beat his ass in Wii Boxing. He didn’t land a single punch on me the first two fights. I passed the controller off to the 4 year old kid of one of the guests (this kid, by the way, had lost to his 3 year old little sister earlier). The 4 year old proceeds to lay the smack down on him not once but twice! It wasn’t like he threw the fight, or didn’t try either. He was swinging away, frantically trying not to lose but he still lost to a 4 year old!
I decided to take pity on him and offer to play some CoD4 with him since he’s “the CoD4 master” I figured he’d at least make it interesting. I gave him a few minutes to get used to the controls then began the beat down fest. 20 kills - 0 deaths. He wasn’t ready, or so he claimed, so we did a rematch on Wet Works. 20-2. After that, he refused to play anymore.
That’s when the excuses came flooding out like a dam that just broke. “I’m not used to joysticks.”, ”My mouse is way more accurate”, “I wasn’t ready”, “You’re cheating.” My favorite was the “mouse” comment though since most of my kills were from behind him so accuracy or no, he wouldn’t have gotten me anyway. Also, we were playing split screen on my 50” TV, so even with it split it’s bigger than his 19” monitor and the “I couldn’t see excuse” wasn’t going to fly with me.
After the public humiliation he received he’s been a little quieter lately, though he still looks for reasons to talk about his PC. I’ve got him beat though since he can’t play with his PC at work while I’ve got my PSP under my desk right now grinding out some job levels on FF Tactics.
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12 responses so far ↓
1 Jacob816 // Jun 30, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Very nice quality of writing. Keep up the good work :thumbsup:
2 Graham // Jun 30, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I was waiting for the point where you had a go on COD4 for the PC to balance things out… but you didn’t.
3 AKDizzle // Jun 30, 2008 at 4:51 pm
to be fair, playing cod4 on the joystick is completely different to how it is when you’re used to a mouse, legit excuse, but still a lamer
4 De Stijl // Jun 30, 2008 at 6:12 pm
This is dumb, try playing on a pc as well as you do on a console if you’re a complete console fanboy. A controller is a LOT different from a mouse, if someone isn’t used to it they’re obviously gonna play bad.
5 Kaworus_lover // Jun 30, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Yeah I am an exclusive PC gamer, and even though I am not that good I am 10 times worse on a console because of the controller. It may not be an accuracy thing, but it is still harder on a controller, and not a fair comparrision. I also must disregard your whole Wii thing because again a completely new controller, and a non-typical game. Not very fair.
Although the beginning of you’re article was little confusing at what a dyed in the wool gamer means?
6 ethan // Jun 30, 2008 at 7:53 pm
well another thing about the mouse/joystick argument.
im a console gamer.
i suck worse than a black hole with a mouse.
they are two different worlds.
7 Jacob816 // Jun 30, 2008 at 9:23 pm
@ Kaworus_lover
“dyed in the wool” is just an expression that means born into or raised from. Instead of wool being dyed after it is cut, the person of thing is so one way, that the wool is dyed even before it is cut. In this case, the writer was obviously a console player for a very long time.
8 Shadowbird // Jul 1, 2008 at 2:00 am
Yeah, it’s not really an objective competition until you’ve both tried playing both console and PC. Yay for ass-kicking the arrogance though.
9 Cody // Jul 1, 2008 at 4:24 am
Sure it would have been fair to play console AND PC but read the text again: They played a private game on a splitscreen tv. Not everybody has two PCs in a house to create a LAN.
And why do you PC guys always use the controller-excuse? What does that show? That a controller is “harder” to handle and therefore the “console guys” have more skills? That playing a fps with mouse/keyboard is comparable to shooting fish in a barrel? To me that mouse/controller argument is a lame excuse since you can use a 360 controller for pc games also-if you wanna win go and practice but dont run around whining that you are unable to handle a controller.
10 Kaworus_lover // Jul 1, 2008 at 9:03 am
Controlling with a controller is a different experience. Actually it takes more skill with a mouse and keyboard because most if not all console FPS games use auto aim. Some more than others, but almost all PC games (I have seen some that give the option) do not use this auto aim. I would like to invite you Cody to go and try shooting with a mouse and keyboard, and then entail your experience I doubt that you will be getting as many headshots on the first go around. Also it has been proven that mouse and keyboard is superior to gamepad by a two to one ratio of kills. PC Gamer did an editorial about that a while back.
Thank you Jacob for clearing that up.
11 instant // Jul 1, 2008 at 10:12 am
i’ve played fps on a PC and a console…..quite frankly playing on a PC is like driving an automatic car while playing on a console is like driving stick… imo
12 Kaworus_lover // Jul 1, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Now I can take that in two ways. One you think it is harder on the PC, or you have more control on the console. I do not know which one.
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