I may not be a soldier fighting in the console wars (more of a reservist) but I am a loyal PSP fanboy. No portable gaming device even comes close to the awesome power and capabilities that the PSP provides. That said, there are a whole host of things that could have been done better. The rumor mill surrounding what the next generation of portable gaming consoles will be like has been going full force for the past few years, and yet not so much as a mouse fart from Sony or Microsoft. Until now.

Today SG is proud to reveal the world premiere details of Sony’s PSP 2!

Check out all the details after the jump!

During a conference call today with Sony’s North American PSP rep, Danny Oplaya, we managed to discover all the big changes headed our way on the PSP 2.

PMPB: First off, I gotta ask, will the new PSP have dual analog sticks?

Danny: Of course. The original PSP only having one was the result of a sarcastic comment that went terribly wrong. Just before the PSP 1 went into production the design team was asked if the PSP should have only 1 analog stick and we said “Oh sure, 1 analog stick will do just fine. Gamers won’t even notice the lack of control.” Unfortunately our use of heavy sarcasm went unnoticed and the PSP 1 WAS manufactured with only one analog stick. Sony now administers a mandatory sarcasm test every 3 months to all employees. The original manufacturing team has since been let go seeing as how they “still don’t get it.”

PMPB: Will we actually get a built in hard drive now? I mean if Ipod and Zune can give me 80GB’s, why the hell were we stuck with overpriced 8GB cards?

Danny: The new PSP will come with a micro 100GB hard drive. To be quite honest we only went with memory sticks because we needed the cash. I have three ex-wives and 13 children and lets just say all those 8GB sticks removed 13 college tuition monkeys from my back. Add to that our need for gold plated office furniture and a jukebox featuring the best of Billy Idol. Plus, most of our design staff back then were still living in the 80′s (ala Billy Idol), a time when 8GB’s of free space was still mind blowing.

PMPB: What about the actual power of the PSP 2? Are we going to be getting what we got with the PSP 1…ie a portable PS2?

Danny: This time round we are going all out with a revamped version of the PS3′s cell processor as well as a newly designed and patented 512MB video card that we refer to as the NDS2K (Nintendo DS 2 Killa). What this means is that for the first time true HD will be available in portable form or through the PSP’s HDMI output. We expect the gaming community to be so blown away by the power and video quality of the PSP 2 that gamers world wide will literally s**t themselves we they turn it on for the first time.

PMPB: What about homebrew?

Danny: We have learned a lot from the first PSP. The very idea that we could prevent piracy and homebrew through firmware updates was always a bit naive…a lot of the staff here are fanciful dreamers who think unicorns and faeries exist. While Sony has no intention of EVER allowing piracy to go unchecked, the PSP 2 will allow users to install a version of Linux or Vista portable (tba at a later date). Since we all know Vista was Satan’s idea, I’d go with Linux.

PMPB: What about UMD’s?

Danny: Honestly, I don’t know what we were thinking. They really are flimsy, easy to break and over priced wastes of space aren’t they? I blame Satan for the UMD. The PSP 2 will feature no UMD drive or anything similar. All Sony supported movies will be available through the Playstation Store, and we promise to have more than 7 good movies this time.

PMPB: Battery Life? You can’t tell me you guys can’t build a battery that last more than 4 hours while gaming.

Danny: Honestly, we are looking at some sort of extended life battery mixed with a micro solar panel. Oh, and before you ask, YES the PSP 2 will come standard with a glare screen so that you can actually play games during the day. I don’t know what we were thinking with our original batteries, I personally blame Satan (see above).

PMPB: When can we expect the PSP 2? What kind of price tag can consumers expect?

Danny: We have no set date at this time but right now we are looking at a possible 2010 release. As to price, we hope that it will retail between $200-$250…we still need to give Satan his cut so that he will leave us be.

There you have it, the PSP 2 will be everything we could possibly ask for and more. One can only hope the Dark Lord turns his eyes towards the Nintendo DS 2 this time round.