Praise from blind rights groups was heaped upon the independent gaming blog Sarcastic Gamer earlier today as the site launched a new feature allowing the various posts and editorials to be read in Braille. Using updated prototype technology from Microsoft’s Surface and upcoming operating system Windows 7, the bumps and small imprints of the print language for blind people can be replicated on a touch screen, meaning those with poor sight can simply run their fingers across the webpage and enjoy the user-created goodness of the Sarcastic Gamer community.

“It’s wonderful that we’ve been able to use our ‘big-ass table’, I quote from the guys over at the site, to make Sarcastic Gamer a website that everyone can visit,” said Microsoft’s chief Surface engineer Nick Walshton, to the cringe of every Sarcastic Gamer fan everywhere. “We’ve simply taken the technology we’ve already got and beefed it up a bit. Think of it as not only a screen that shows you things, but talks back to you too.”

The new “TouchSponse™” technology used to create Braille displays not only monitors the electrical circuit created as a user touches the screen (as a normal touch screen works, allowing the system to move the cursor to the point where the circuit is created) but can send electric impulses back, creating the sensation of the writing on-screen ‘rising up’ from the monitor itself. These small notches can be arranged into Braille, allowing those unable to see to retain their daily dose of sarcasm and flaming of certain Miami lawyers.

Walshton also confirmed that narration tools were in development, allowing users to listen to the text as they read with their fingers; confirmed narrators already include Phil Harrison (with realistic mumbling integrated into the narration) and Brucie from GTA IV. “You’ll feel the testosterone at your fingertips,” commented Walshton, prompting more groans of embarrassment from the worldwide gaming community.

Blind rights groups have approved of the move, but those of more Christian orientation disapproved of the choice of the trial website for the new technology. “A site desecrating the good name of Jack Thompson should not be chosen to test out this important software,” whined Patricia Lawrence, head of the International Christian Believer’s Association of Lost or Lesser Sight. “He’s a good man, with wise words, in no way staining the good name of Christianity. What’s he done to the gaming community aside from try to save it from damnation?”

Other observers made their own surprised comments based on Microsoft’s partnership with Sarcastic Gamer, not least the ringleaders of the site itself, including one member known as Lono. “What? Sarcastic Gamer in Braille? Microsoft using our site as a guinea pig? None of us knew about this! I’m getting them on the phone right now! Where’s my lawyer?!”

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