Starting next month, browsing the infinite product wisdom of the Sky Mall catalogue won’t be the only form of free entertainment on passenger airplanes. Northwest Airlines and Nintendo have partnered up to subsidize Wii consoles for every row of seats, including coach, which NWA officials concluded as a “flawless idea”.
Safety belts will now serve two purposes instead of one. In addition to providing material for your skin to melt to in event of a jet-fuel explosion, it now also will hold aggressive newbies in their seats, preventing potential assault charges after some SSBB domination.
Pilots will also be provided with a gaming console, but with a Playstation 3 instead. This is the direct result of concerns about sending a Wiimote through the cockpit windshield, and because pilots naturally love Warhawk. However, ground controllers are said to be banned from any sort of Wii gameplay, regarding their natural ability to wave their arms around in the air.
Since the airline industry is already in poor shape, many experts have criticized the move as ‘wasteful’. Northwest Airlines CFO, Richie Strauss, has an insightful plan on turning profit.
“Who needs to charge a fee to play WiiSports, when the service is on a compact airplane?,” explained Strauss. “At $6 per Band-Aid, $25 per stitch, and $5 per drink to help you feel less ridiculous, this little company can go Wii Wii Wii, all the way to the bank!”
However, the Transportation Security Authority is skeptical of the idea. Inside reports conclude that BoomBlox could be used to train puzzle-solving terrorists.
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11 responses so far ↓
1 smellmyface // Jun 13, 2008 at 1:32 pm
lot of ff articles today…
thats SG. gives u everything but the news…
2 Master Devwi // Jun 13, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Wow, awesome FF article!
3 Yamster // Jun 13, 2008 at 5:13 pm
@smellmyface: No wonder there’s a lot of FF articles, being that it’s Fiction Friday.
Great article.
4 Gareth // Jun 13, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Wii on a plane?
Like the flights weren’t already boring enough.
Nice job though Vovkov!
5 randomperson // Jun 13, 2008 at 9:16 pm
What if the Wiimote knocks out the pilot or crashes through a window?
6 Pablos102030 // Jun 13, 2008 at 11:57 pm
@Gareth: Veah, vome on everybovy, vets give Vovkov a vound ov appvause. VAY VOVKOV!
Oh yeah and good job on the article too, Volkov
7 Pablos102030 // Jun 13, 2008 at 11:58 pm
I’M SICK AND TIRED OF THESE MOTHERFXCKING WIIMOTES ON THIS MOTHERFXCKING PLANE.
8 smellmyface // Jun 14, 2008 at 3:24 am
@ Yamster
More than normal…
9 Nobody // Jun 14, 2008 at 8:02 am
BTW, while this IS an FF article, it’s tagged as news, not fake news.
10 paulmess7 // Jun 14, 2008 at 5:05 pm
First, there were terrorists on a plane.
Then, there were snakes on a plane.
Now, there is Wii on a plane.
Can’t argue with that logic.
11 Sean // Jun 15, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Good article. I believed the headline, but lost touch after a paragraph. LOL. This would be sweet if it was for real. Or a PS3 or 360
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