Starting next month, browsing the infinite product wisdom of the Sky Mall catalogue won’t be the only form of free entertainment on passenger airplanes. Northwest Airlines and Nintendo have partnered up to subsidize Wii consoles for every row of seats, including coach, which NWA officials concluded as a “flawless idea”.

Safety belts will now serve two purposes instead of one. In addition to providing material for your skin to melt to in event of a jet-fuel explosion, it now also will hold aggressive newbies in their seats, preventing potential assault charges after some SSBB domination.

Pilots will also be provided with a gaming console, but with a Playstation 3 instead. This is the direct result of concerns about sending a Wiimote through the cockpit windshield, and because pilots naturally love Warhawk. However, ground controllers are said to be banned from any sort of Wii gameplay, regarding their natural ability to wave their arms around in the air.

Since the airline industry is already in poor shape, many experts have criticized the move as ‘wasteful’. Northwest Airlines CFO, Richie Strauss, has an insightful plan on turning profit.

“Who needs to charge a fee to play WiiSports, when the service is on a compact airplane?,” explained Strauss. “At $6 per Band-Aid, $25 per stitch, and $5 per drink to help you feel less ridiculous, this little company can go Wii Wii Wii, all the way to the bank!”

However, the Transportation Security Authority is skeptical of the idea. Inside reports conclude that BoomBlox could be used to train puzzle-solving terrorists.

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