The results of a scientific study were released today about GTA IV and the way it changes children after they have played it. A small group advocating the banning of the series in Delaware because of the extreme violence funded the study. So to prove that children who cannot legally buy the game shouldn’t play it, they gave it to them for free and then watched them play it.

Let’s find out what they discovered.

The study used 30 boys and girls between the ages of 10 and 15, from prominent Delaware families. The children filed in as the researchers assigned them a Xbox360 (they didn’t want any freezes) and a TV. The researchers say that they noticed immediate changes before the kids after the initial game play that involved driving your drunken cousin, Roman, home from the docks.

“After 30 minutes of game play they had all lost their innocent North Eastern accents and were now all speaking with thick Eastern European accents. After an hour they all began to grow facial stubble and they had buzz cuts”

After two days they were no longer able to contain the children.  They all escaped and carjacked passersbys before going on the longest crime spree in Delaware history. They robbed a bank, had many high speed chases involving the police, and started a gang war with the Italian Mafia that no one knew existed in Delaware. The carnage finally ended after the kids were reminded that their families were not brutally murdered in the former Eastern Bloc, and were in fact still alive.

GTA = bad for kids, who knew?