Hey all you gamers and lamers out there, it’s once again time for the Super Duper Tuesday Stock Value Ticker Watch - the only place on the net to get gaming news in numerical form. Sit back, relax, and enioy the bears, bulls, and bollox.

Obesity 43 Lbs.

Joystiq informed us that Amazon.com had already sold out of their pre-order stock of WiiFit’s, not set for release until May 19th. For those of you who want the same weight-loss benefit, but at none of the cost, I recommend a healthy diet, vigorous exercise, or develop an eating disorder.

Killzone 2 3 Bugs and a Glitch

The Killzone 2 release date has been pushed back to February, leaving just a little more time to f*ck the game up. After the mediocre first game (the ‘Halo-Killer’ that wasn’t), Sony has decided to push another generic shooter down our throats, only about six months late. Perhaps they are trying to upgrade from “Bargain Bin” to “2nd Rental Choice”.

Rockstar $3.90

In their many attempts of shock value and obscenity in Grand Theft Auto 4, they never once managed to compromise my personal moral values. Next time, I expect graphic torture of newborn babies, seven different methods of sexual assault, and at least one mission that involves burning down a church and/or grade school. I better be totally and utterly offended by the end of the opening mission.

Also - more hot women. I don’t want to play the next GTA without a constant erection.

Childhood Memories23 Plastics

In a recent interview with Kotaku, Lego Universe designer Brian Booker explained the story and economy of his colorful new world. Users will use plastic as a form of currency to buy and sell plastic objects, or just melt down and mold your plastic to create your own plastic items (and lego-dildos).

In regards to why the interview was only two questions long, rumor has it Brian Crecente was shitting bricks.

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