
Feeling a little blue? How about investing a little green into the Super Duper Tuesday Stock Value Ticker Watch? I accept all major credit cards, concealed cash, personal checks, livestock, intergalactic credits, or first born children.
Piracy
102 Terrabytes
Electronic Arts would love for you to think their recent ‘removal’ of SecuROM DRM from Mass Effect and Spore were humanitarian efforts. In reality, EA fed us a mild sedative, while they covered us with a thick stream of corporate piss. The only thing taken out of the game was the 10-day re-validation. They left validations while downloading new content, and limited the amount installations to three (without having to get the third degree by an EA phone rep).
My first Spore creature will appear to be a large human hand, with the middle finger raised, and pointed straight towards EA. I’d upload this fantastic beast, but my Chinese copy of Spore isn’t working online for some reason…
Action Archeology
25 Snakes (AHH!)
Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures is due to hit stores soon, and the single player demo was recently sent out into the PC wilderness. The game will have a new key element of ‘phobias’, with each playable character having their own personal fear of something in the environment. Legos may be a bunch of pansies, but you would be too if you were less than two inches tall, with plastic genitalia.
Halo 3
10,000 Microsoft Points
Grand Theft Auto 4 is headed into the record books, selling 3.6 million copies and earning over $300 (£154) million in just one day. Not only did this beat Halo 3’s single-day stint, it also became the fastest selling work of entertainment ever, beating that asshole Harry Potter kid by a cool $90 (£46) mil.
The Guinness Book of World Records has made it all official, placing it into the text right next to Namco Bandai’s record for “Best Usage of Large Throbbing Sticky Balls”.





6 responses so far ↓
1 Matt 'Volkov' Schmidt // May 13, 2008 at 4:45 pm
I just realized I ended my last two stocks with penis jokes.
God help me.
2 CooktheChef // May 13, 2008 at 5:33 pm
And your first name ends in “tt”….
3 ProudlyAnAddict // May 13, 2008 at 5:46 pm
haha lol Harry potter sucks! lol
4 Dreaded_Porridge // May 13, 2008 at 5:47 pm
hell…
At least it aint starforce.
5 dougb455 // May 13, 2008 at 9:09 pm
did it beat pirates of the Caribbean ?
6 irish boy90 // May 14, 2008 at 2:57 pm
“the fastest selling work of entertainment ever”
so yeah I annihilated pirates of the Caribbean
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