NOTE: You can win this game BEFORE you can buy it, from Sarcastic Gamer! See details at the end of the preview!
Every once in a while a game comes along that seems so creative, I get this little feeling in my left pinky toe. Kind of a tickle. That tickle usually indicates the game will be incredible. (On occasion it just meant I needed bigger socks.)
Today, Stardock released a handful of screenshots for The Political Machine 2008 that have my toe doing cartwheels in my Croc. I love games like this, and it’s hard to say exactly why. I’ll try with pics and a general overview after the jump.
Politics is a nasty business, and this year’s US elections promise to get a lot worse before they get better. The whole country has gone either to one polar extreme or has thrown up their hands and said “screw it”. Enter The Political Machine 2008, a game that exploits these tense times by bringing the cut-throat world of political pundits to the masses.
The game allows you to run as a pre-made candidate (including Clinton, Obama, McCain, and many others all of which have no chance in the real world) or create your own. The devs were also careful not to limit themsleves to only the US. There are European scenarios (though we’re told they border on the cruelly ridiculous) and even historic election scenarios.
In the game you’re doing all of the things that the real candidates do, including speech making, fund raising, advertising and more. You also have to gain endorsements and customize your position to the State you’re speaking to.
While we’re told the AI is a fantastic foe, it’s the MULTIPLAYER apsect of this game that has me intrigued. Yeah, if you’re so inclined you can run for president against Lono. How cool would that be? (Be ready for a dirty campaign)
At a mere 20 bucks, a bunch of people will be hitting the campaign trail on June 16th. My candidate will be the one running on a platform of snack reform and undergarment abolition. (The Commando Party)
There’s a bunch more to this game, and if you’d like the “official scoop” that got me so worked up, check it out here.
NOW even though The Political Machine doesn’t ship for another 2 weeks, Sarcastic Gamer has negtiated an EXCLUSIVE OPPORTUNITY for our readers to WIN IT BEOFRE YOU CAN BUY IT!
Just leave a comment below telling us what political platform you would represent as a presidential candidate, and what your political party would be. For extra credit, give us a speech excerpt from one of your stops on the campaign trail. We’ll select one winner each day and post them here! Be sure to register with an email address so that we can notify you if you win! Unregistered entries will not be eligible.
Special thanks to Stardock for this awesome and EXCLUSIVE chance for Sarcastic Gamer community members to win a game before it’s even released!
UPDATE: Winner Announcements
Monday – Kiljoy
Tuesday – Trigger 95
Wednesday – Krewz71
Thursday – MattyFTM
Friday – Mallavu939
Popularity: 1% [?]
Health Care Reform- Democrat
My fellow gamers, we have been oppressed for far too long. It is time we take a stand! As president, I will dis-bar any lawers that are out of line, and stop the madness surrounding games and their players. Video games should be respected like movies and music are. And this is the time and place to take that stance!
Plus you get a free cookie at the voting booth if you vote for me! Come on! I put a lot of love into those cookies!
I hope your not limiting political parties to America only as I am British (or scottish)
Id represent the Conservatives (British Party). Why you ask? These people actually care about Britain. They dont just care about money and war. They care about the people of Britain. They have told and showed us their plans for Britain.
They care about the health of the people, they care about people who are struggling with money, they care about finding homes for the homeless.
As a canidate a few of my promises I would make to my country would be…
1. Increase in National Health Service workers. At this current point of time people are spending weeks, months and some are even spending years just to be able to see a nurse or a doctor. As prime minister it would be my job to make sure we encourage more kids going through our National Education System into becomming Doctors and Nurses. This means an increase of supplies of equipment and facilities will be needed for Schools, Colleges and Universitys.
2. Lower Road Tax Rates – Right now in Britain people are paying too much for Road Tax. An investigation is needed to be taken into the current Road Tax rules. Yes we do need to encourage people to walk or cycle for short journeys but these high ridiculous tax prices is not the answer to this problem.
3. Lower fuel costs
Fuel costs are rising and rising and don’t look like stopping any soon. We have to look at our current fuel suppliers and question, “Are we getting the right deal?” There are people serving our country by delivering the food we eat and the drink we drink. Without them we wouldn’t be enjoying that lovely Sunday dinners or Fish and Chip suppers. These truck drivers are now paying £40k extra than they were a few years ago for their fuel and a lot of them are considering quitting the industry. Something needs to be done before high fuel costs leads to disaster.
These are my 3 main points that I would like to make but of course I have many other plans should I be the man to succeed Mr Brown. These include…
More hospitals
Lower inflation rates
Improve quality of teaching
Protection for school kids (Security locked doors etc.)
Improved quality of airport sequrity
These are only some of my dutys I will fulfill as your prime minister.
Well, as a presidential candidate, I would take the platform against the law that unmarried women in Florida cannot parachute on Sunday or
she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
I’m a British democrat, baby!
An exert from my speech:
“Now, you may be thinking that this seems like a perfectly reasonable law to have in place.
On Sundays, no-one wants to look out of their window and see a woman flying through the air and landing in a nearby field, causing disruption to daily life.
But with figures showing that there are continued fall in the number of church-goers, and with the rising numbers of divorce, many women are left unmarried.
And many women who are unmarried and live here or the surrounding parts may want to participate in the fantastic sport of parachuting.
Parachuting is a fascinating, exhilarating sport, and evidence would show that unmarried women would have more time to do the things that they want to do, than women in a committed relationship.
You feel the thrill as you fly through the air, looking down at the small people below, and the ant-sized cars zipping along the highways.
But depriving unmarried women of the this thrill is discimination, and any form of discrimination is a bad thing. If unmarried men are free to parachute as they like over this glorious state, why shouldn’t women be allowed to?
Help the unmarried women’s plight. It may just be here that suffers such an injustice, but injustice affects everyone.
Sexual discrimination is wrong, no matter what the instance is.
Help the cause.
Stop this discrimination.
We can help you. A vote for us is a vote for democracy, for justice, and for equality. Do it today. Do it now. Do it right.”
Brotha and sistahs! Sistahs and Brothahs! I see that you see me as the next presidential candidate to be president! I lead, I read, I need, I breed, I win! You believe, you achieve, you… um… cleave…
Anyhow, I am runningah, for the Democratic Green Leaf Party! Which means that I don’t inhale, but I will be liberal minded about it if you do! What I will do, is insure-ah that all video games are not made equal! That means that if a game is rated Mature, it is specifically made for a gamer who is able to differentiate from corny stuff and reality. AH! I hope to bring respectibility to video games, and I will TAKE UWE BOLL DOWN! AH!
Remember the words of that one kid from that one show…
Death kills people like a baboon, or like a raccoon, or like a red moon…
Death kills us like crack killed Pookie… The way Swartzenegger killed Tookie… Chewbacca was a Wookie…
REVOLUTION!
Vote for me.
Hello everyone! My name is Ruggles, and I’m running as an independent. I believe I can make America a better place, and I ask that you all would hear me out.
First off, I would like to thank you all taking the time out of your busy schedules to come listen to me today. And that’s what I’d like to talk about. The problem of people being too busy. Everywhere you go, it seems people are running around, trying to get to their next meeting or appointment, and I believe I have a solution.
As President, I would increase funding to research what I call “Super-Sleep”. Super-Sleep is just like normal sleep, however, it is 5 times more intense! The body works in overdrive to rest as fast as it can. With this sleep, your average American who sleeps 8 hours a night now only has to sleep 1.6 hours! The possibilities of having this extra time are boundless. We could spread out the work day, or have more time off after work. Our children could learn more and focus better in school, as they would be better rested when the day starts.
My fellow Americans, I beseech you. Vote for me, for a better future. For more time with the ones that you love, and the activities that you enjoy. In closing:
Don’t sleep longer, sleep harder.
I had a great idea for a fictional one – can we do fictional ones or does it have to be sticking to stuffy real life politics?
Fiction = Funny
I lean funny
Mine is an actual law.
Attention, citizens under siege! Fear no longer at the hands of your tyrannical leaders! I have seen many a nation stricken with kleptocracy and corruption! I have seen you cut down by your own merciless dictators! You need no longer quake in your shoes, as I have only three words for you: I was there!
I was there as you slouched in your prison-cell homes, contained by your repressive leaders! I was there as you planned your escapes, dodging crooked death squads and fleeing to the marshlands! I was there as you co-ordinated your attacks on dictatorship, freeing civilisations in the name of democracy! I was there as we tried to rebuild our civilisations, free from almost alien levels of terror, ready to start anew! I was there to help salvage your democratic right! I was the Free Man!
Are you ready to join the fight against the enemies of freedom? Today is the day we make the move against the forces of tyranny! Join the Free Man and prepare to fight in the name of democracy! Quake in fear, dictators and tyrants! Your days are numbered at the hands of the Free Man Party!
(I reallllly hope this isn’t too subliminal to be understood
)
Platform: Mandatory gaming for all citizens. Free Xbox 360s for everyone (because they are the best).
Party: Fanboy Party.
Platform is: Freedom (not secret police)
Party: Communism
To long have the Capitalist dogs run this great country of ours into the ground! Our comrades in China meanwhile enjoy great prosperity under the teaching of Lenin. We will create a new government run by the people, video games will be played nation wide. Not only will they be played for amusement but for other purposes, like voting, nobody wants to vote? vote from home! Just make sure to vote for me or our secret police will get you in the night… umm did I say secret police? I meant Ice Cream men, yes yes ice cream.
We will convert the world to us my fellow Americans, out with the old, the game hating Nazis and misguided innocents, with truth (and secret police). I will create jobs for you, like watching your neighbor to make sure they are loyal to me, and building statues of me. Healthcare? no problem, we just ship you off to Canada, then when your healthy you come back, after a stint in one of our “reintroduction centers” of course.
If you are sick of your oppresive capitalist leaders, then do the smart thing, and switch to us communists, atleast we hide our oppression… Dangit!
I had some fake registration from a long time ago, in case you can’t get my real stuff here it is
mtyejquinn@gmail.com
http://www.sarcasticgamer.com/forums/blog.php?u=895
Ploogle, representing the Tea Party.
“Fellow Americans, it is in times such as these that we must ask ourselves: What system is truly pimpin’ awesome? The next-gen is upon us, dear citizens. Who will you choose? I am here before you today to tell you that it is none other than Microsoft’s Xbox 360 that will bring our country closer in this economic crisis. With Xbox Live, fragging your fellow neighbor and bashing in the head of your classmates is now safe and strengthens friendships. There’s nothing like jacking your friend’s car without fear of legal repercussions to help you forget that the country is screwed!
As a president, I would establish a console-ate in each and every state! This will represent gaming rights and protect gamers against such lawyers as *cough*HIM*cough*. Furthermore, I propose an ammendment to the Constitution! On the release date of any Grand Theft Auto game, all places of business and government-funded schools must give their employees and students the day off. That way they don’t have to use a sick day to play.
Thank you, my fellow Americans. See you in the White House!
”
Let’s see I would probably be an independant or democrat my speech is on violence in video games.
People of the USA Wake up and smell the silicon! Video games have never nor will they ever cause violence! Any congressmen or senator that steps up and says they do is only waisting taxpayer money. I will not waste taxpayer money in this ridiculous fashion. If congressmen or senators are so concerned about violent video games getting in the hands of young children then they should make the parents more informed, rather than waste time in the senate or congress. I promise to protect our rights! I promise to inform Parents of the ESRB and to stop all the Hate on video games!
My email adress is gamer2774@hotmail.com
I went for a true political statement rather than a fiction one.
Yes, yes you did.
Both are as welcome as each other!
Party- PC Elitist Party
Platform- Superior Rights for PC gamers
“My fellow PC gamers, I come to you today promising you hope, hope that we shall finally see the great games that our lesser console bretherin have been rewarded with, and for the future that they shall never see. I bring the promise that we shall not be receiving the half assed console version (except for Halo 2 that was double assed) . No longer shall our games be pushed back to keep the console version near the quality that we deserve, but instead we shall get the only version of these games that rightfully belong on our platform. FPS games will return to the only system that can play them without auto-aim (console weaklings beware), and no RTS shall ever be degraded to a lesser control scheme again under my administration. A vote for me is a vote for a better life for the far superior PC gaming.”
For some reason it didn’t seem to give my email so I’ll just put it here-> dandrew90@gmail.com
the give nukes toorphans and myself political machine………did i type that out loud i mean the killer kitten with nukes fund
I am representing the wives of gamers everywhere. These poor women have been beaten down and neglected for too long. I will work to put strict gaming laws into effect. You may only game for 1 hour each day between the hours of 7 and 8 p.m. You must sell the majority of your video games on ebay and use the money to buy designer purses for your wives.
Vote for me and I will make all old and upcoming GTA games rated E. With all the content still in them.
@wifey:
Wha–? You’re NOT? :p
@NuclearNinja1429
The last thing we need is MORE little kids on GTA online…
e-mail: codinthepocket@googlemail.com
I’m having problems with WordPress, so my e-mail is here…
@silvertorch
What is the problem with little kids being online? They have every right to play online as long as they follow the rules and are respectful. I don’t think that was very respectful of you to assume that all young children are obnoxious little brats as your post insinuated. I am dearly offended, and I ask that you apologize to the little guy. Now had you said you don’t need more idiots online then I could see where you were going.
As an Englishman living in America, and the next President of the United States of America I have some simple policies:
1. No tea will be available in Boston during my presidency (bad the last time the English was running this place)
2. I will bring the United Kingdom back to America. This will include, a failing National Health Care solution; HIGH taxes; higher sales taxes; health care taxes; and of course much higher petrol (gas) taxes (8 bucks a gallon would be OK right???)! See what you missed out since that silly revolt and independence.
3. The letter U will be used in words once again, Colour; Neighbour; etc. Zee will be pronounced Zed
4. Tea and cake will be served at 3.00 p.m. (except in Boston where they can have Coffee and Doughnuts)
5. Britinia will still rule the waves, but America can have the land and air.
This I promise you as your next President (hey look at the real alternatives you are gonna get them anyway!)
Oh yeah, nearly forgot, and God Bless these United States of America.
For too long we have been living in the shadows! For too long we have been neglected, forgotten and cast aside! Even when, we oh so, rarely finally do receive some public attention it is only so that we may get screwed over, every which way but the enjoying one, by the major gaming corporations. Yes, the history of mankind contains many tragedies and many a heart wrenching tale of woe but none, I believe, as woeful as that of our eclectic community. Our community encompasses the short, the tall, the slim and the obese. Rumour even has it that there are girls among us, although as of yet we have no confirmed sightings – just one or two guys who seriously needs to consider getting a training bra.
We have a proud heritage, our ancestors include, just to mention a few, Isaac Newton, Nicolaus Copernicus, Oscar Wilde, H. C. Andersen and Christopher Columbus (who one day felt like taking a prolonged cruise westward, in order to discover something that a number of Vikings had discovered about five hundred years earlier, but then again forgotten in their drunken stupor). Yes, we are Europeans, but are we not gamers too?!
The list of infractions against us run long and our pain is deep, but together we are strong and together our arguments carry weight (Although, I grant you not merely as much as the Americans – let’s face it, those guys are getting HUGE!). Whilst Nintendo and Sony continue to cuddle the Japanese gamers and Microsoft goes out of their way to keep American and Canadian gamers in new/refurbished 360’s, nobody’s got our backs. All in all we EU citizens number around 500 million people and yet we still can’t get Sony to sell us a goddamn dualshock controller! *shakes fist angrily* We are still waiting for Harmonix and EA to bring Rock Band to all of us and we had to wait for not one, not two, not three but FOUR, count ‘em, FOUR months to buy ourselves a PS3!
Meanwhile our endearingly belligerent friends (yes, I’m talking about YOU Martha Stewart!) overseas can feast themselves on all the dualshock controllers and Rock Bandy goodness that we both crave, deserve and secretly lust for! (Come on, we all know that those huge guitars are just family-friendly phallus symbols).
But why is this so?! We Europeans have strong and vibrant ties with our overseas colo… eh, the Americans and the Canadians (Staaay frosty!) and I myself have stood proudly by the Iron Cur… eh, the Iron Fence of the White House and boldly said: “Mr. Georgieboy! Brick up this Atlantic!…” (I mean, seriously, if we fill it up with all kinds of sh*t we could just drive over and get our dualshock controllers).
But dear disillusioned companions of mine, I have a solution! I propose building, and attaching to the European continent a pair of big-*ss propeller engines and physically moving the entire continent stateside (See: http://youtube.com/watch?v=UOOpE95sV-8 @ 4:43 for proof of concept). And when that day comes, oh when that sweet, sweet day of reckoning comes I shall be able to face you once again and proudly proclaim: “Ich bin ein Amerikaner!”.
So in short: A vote for me is a vote for dualshock 3!… oh and big-*ss propeller engines! (They’re cool!)
I would represent th building of Nukes for intimidation. I would also represent using videogames to brainwash people into joining the army, and letting Lamborghinis (yes, the car) control the country (other than me, of course). The party would be the Lamborghatic Party.
“Why does everybody think that cars do not suffer from no rights? They have absolutely no rights whatsoever. It is much like how blacks and women had no rights back in the day. No one seems to care about cars, do they? No cars suffer from no rights more than the Lamborghinis. They have been holding in through thick and thin from day one of their invention. I believe that they should help control the country and represent the car population. Many car enthusiasts and racing game enthuusiasts have to agree with me, it is just cruel how these cars are treated.
Not only that, but we just have too much war in this world. We could easily reduce the amount of war drastically. The easiest way to do that is to keep countries from wanting to fight you. It might otherwise be known as intimidation. An easy way to create intimidation is to create billions of nukes. That way, countries know that if they mess with the U.S., they’re gonna get hurt. Badly.
Now, many politicians believe that videogames are bad *cough* *cough* Hilary Clinton *cough* *cough*. Sorry, I guess I have a cough. Anyway, videogames can easily be used in favor of this country. The more war games made and published, the more kids want to grow up to join the army! Not only will it increase the amount of army recruits, but it will also make gamers all over the country rejoice in happiness for more war games. It’s a win-win situation, right?
Please vote for me and give happiness to Lamborghinis and Lamborghats everywhere. Help the Lamborghatic Party!!!!!”
Platform: Sarcasim
In my new regiem, er presidency, I will start working on the huge issues. To start I will step up the “three stikes and you are out” . I like to call my new plan “three strikes and you are dead”. In my plan anyone who gets three misterminer will be given the death penalty. Also when some one is given the death penalty the sentence will be carried out after 3 months, no waiting 10 years or more.
I will also take a look at the rediculous salaries of public office holders, specifically those of Senators and House Representiatives. There is no need for them to make more the $40,000 a year.
Along the same lines I will be mandating that all proffesional sports players will have a salary cap of $100,000 a year. They will then have a chance to make more bassed on their and their team’s proformance.
Democrats-Health care reform/increase in illegal migration prevention/free health care for soldiers in Iraq regardless of any situations/ending the war/making it illegal to complain about/diss/sue in a way/write a letter to the moms of the developer/laying out false facts on fox; for video games.
Oh and make Uwe bolls movies illegal: period
Monday Winner: Kiljoy
Stay tuned all week for more.
Party- The people’s republic of unity, universal non-oppression and almost free society
Platform- We’ll tell you when you put us in power
“Basically, we cant really say what we plan to do. All you need to know it that it will be awesome and you will want to scream with joy (as well as other emotions we cant really discuss). We are like a big bag of candy you find on the floor, you dont know how it’ll taste until you stick your face in them and gobble them down. But rest assured that its worth it.
Be sure that as supreme overlord…..uh……president….. My name will be up there with all of the great dictato…ooor…oooh..uh..leaders in history.
After all who in life doesn’t love a surprise, surprises are always good. yup ALWAYS. never a bad surprise in history. You’ll (probably) love what we plan to do to…uh…..for you, after all, who likes the rainforest anyway, too many mean bugs and snakes.
P.S. I hear the leaders of all the other partys called you a smelly do do head.
You cant trust leaders like that! can you! CAN YOU!
you can trust ME
I dont want to turn this into a smear campaign, but my reliable sources tell me a certain person called LONO! intends to spend 99.999999% of your tax money to attempt to clone himself 50,000 times and put himself on every T.V/Radio show in America. can you live with that…..CAN YOU!!!
I’ll make my own version of the UK’s “Monster Raving Loony Party”
Some of the key policies will be:
1.All socks to be sold in packs of 3 as a precaution against losing one.
2.Make it illegal for super heroes to use their powers for evil.
3.Rename The Isle of Man to “The Isle of Men, Women, Children and Animals” as not just men live there.
4.As well as using computers in schools, children should be taught to reed, rite, and appreciate rock.
5.in the event of a power cut, when the power goes off, it should be switched back on 30 seconds later for 2 minutes so you can locate the candles and flashlights.
6.People who drink gin and tonics will not be allowed ice. This will help to preserve the polar ice cap.
7.Electricity bills will be cut in half. Everyone will get a free pair of scissors.
8.We will spend less on de-fence and more on de-gate and de-garden in general so we can all enjoy more of de-grub,
9.Green Vegetables shall be boiled in food colouring so that they are all bright red, because no-one likes greens
10.Chocolate will be available as a prescription drug
11.Politicians to be fitted with electric shock collars, the type used to stop dogs barking, and shocked every time they lie.
12.Semicolons should be banned; No-one knows when to use one anyway.
13.Gravity will be abolished
I am with the Swingers Party.
Platform: Shoes (get it? HA!)
Policies: Let’s get this party started, right?
Platform – EnthusiasticUtopianism
Party – America United for Utopia
The following is a Public Service announcement from America United for Utopia
Dear America
Growing up, we didn’t see the writing on the wall, America. Passing by, and moving on, we thought we knew it all. Sometimes we knew the pain. We found that previous leaders left us all alone. Everything has changed.
We must play the game, we cannot quit until we are done. We must soldier on, only we can do what must be done. In some ways we are a lot like each other America, we are just political prisoners, trying to break free.
I can see a new horizon under the blazing sky. I will be with you America, where the eagle’s flying higher and higher. I am going to be your politician in motion; all I need is a set of votes. Let us take America to where its future is lying. Saint Elmo’s fire!
Burning up? We just don’t know how far that we can go. Soon I will be home; it’s just a few miles down the road (1600 Pennsylvania Avenue). I can make it, I know I can. My incarceration broke the boy in me, but it will not break the man.
We can climb the highest mountain, America; we can cross the wildest sea. Can you feel it too? I can feel Saint Elmo’s Fire, burning in me, burning in us America. Just once in its life, a nation has its time, and our time is now. We are coming alive
I can hear the music playing. I can see the banners flying. I am going to be your politician in motion, America, all I need is a set of votes. Let’s go to where the future is lying, Saint Elmo’s Fire
We can climb the highest mountain, America; we can cross the wildest sea. Can you feel it too? I can feel Saint Elmo’s Fire, burning in me, burning in us America. Just once in its life, a nation has its time, and our time is now. We are coming alive.
Yours Sincerely
John Parr
This presentation was brought to you by America United for Utopia, and paid for by John Parr
Platform- None, I’d just make up stupid crap on the other candidates so that they don’t win. I wouldn’t take a stand on anything except that I’m better than them.
Party- Mudslingers of America (Basically, our stand is to rip apart others credibility to win)
“(Cough) My fellow Americans, yesterday June 3rd, a day that will live in infamy, I discovered some shocking revelations on my 3 opponents Mrs. Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain.
As you all well remember Bill Clinton, our former president, was indicted on charges of perjury. He lied about having a relationship with a female intern and lounge singer Monica Lewinsky. Now, I have found a new scandal for both the Clintons and Senator Obama to be ashamed of.
I was approached by a member of the Associated Press about something that I might find intriguing. He showed me pictures of Bill Clinton sitting at a table, holding hands with a younger women, most likely in her 20s. After dinner, they kissed and Bill left accompanied by the Secret Service. Always the jealous type, Senator Clinton had her own P.I. shadowing her husband and was enraged when she saw the pictures. She then contacted Senator Obama and asked to meet him at Capitol Hill. There she started crying and told Barack that she was dropping out of the race. Hilary then fell asleep and ever the crafty, conniving, and backstabbing jerk he put a nearly empty liquor bottle in her hands and a pack of cigarettes in her hands. Then, laughing to himself, Obama told Hilary that she didn’t need to drop out. Then afterward he pulled out a cell phone and called a number that belongs to the accomplice is this plot, Senator John McCain. Calling the cell phone company I was able to discover, when I called the cell phone company, that they been exchanging messages to plan this for weeks.
So, citizens of this fine country, I ask you if these are the men or woman who you want to lead our country. I would never stoop so low as to create tall tales and lies about my competitors. I plan on leading an honest campaign and hopefully presidency. So, I beg you to make a wise decision and vote for me not the Evil 3…
Has this been updated since Monday?
nope
It seems they are cancelling the competition without giving us any information as to why?
No update? I guess the competitions cancelled without us even being told. Pretty poor
This is sad.
The winners are in the Podcast this week if anyone wants to hear them.
Updating now, sorry all
i know i’m late, and i doubt i’m even eligible to win, but this looks fun, so i’m going to write one anyway.
Platform – Independent
Party – Communism
My fellow americans. too long have we been repressed by a system that has failed to work for more than two decades. too long have we had “the truth” bent and skewed to be shoved down our throats while we thankfully swallow it up and ask for more!
it is time for change.
i propose we give up status completely! that’s right, paris hilton will earn just as much as you do for being a whore! that bum on the streets will no longer be asking you for spare change – he’ll get all the liquor money he needs from the government!
It is a scientific fact that americans are smarter than 80% of the world, and where communism failed before, we will make it prevail! Comrades, who’s with me?