Nobody puts the Hulk on an ATV!

May 7th, 2008 at 10:00 am · 5 Comments

Ah super hero toys. I remember the days of the Secret Wars action figures and batman toys. And that was just last week! Ba dum dum. Anyway, a couple of days ago, one toy in particular caught my eye, but not in a good way.

Who thinks this stuff up and how the hell did it ever make it to a toy store?

I mean seriously, the Incredible Hulk on a three-wheeler? The Hulk on an ATV? What Douchey McDoucherson pitched that idea. What the hell was Marvel thinking when they licensed these things?

Zoom ‘n Go Hulk? Who thought of that name. I can just see the pitch meeting in my head…

Douche #1 “Okay, the Hulk is coming to the movie theaters, but the toys kind of suck. You know what they need?”

Douche #2 “Ray guns?”

Douche #1 “No, All-Terrain Vehicles!”

Douche #2 “But isn’t he like ten feet tall and jumps from place to place…”

Douche #1 ” NO! I can see it now. The Hulkmobile, or the Hulk cycle! Now all he needs is a cape and we’re good to go…”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Why in the hell would the Hulk ride an all-terrain vehicle? It’s like having Spider-man drive a yacht.

Doesn’t. Effing. Work.

Nice job soiling my childhood. Bastards. Oh and this ties into gaming because a Hulk game is coming out soon, or something like that…

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