Editor’s Note: Here’s another brilliant fiction friday post from everyone’s favorite SGC contributor, Youlikeyams. Nice work!

OTA, TOKYO - Female characters from the upcoming video game Soul Calibur IV lined up outside Namco Bandai Headquarters earlier today to protest against their newly designed outfits which they say are “too impractical for combat”. The protests have come following the news of English scrapper Ivy Valentine’s cover-up for her appearance on American shores, with other leading ladies taking it upon themselves to ask for somewhat similar treatment.

“It’s just a disgrace”, commented Greek combat queen Cassandra Alexandra (pictured above outside Namco Bandai HQ at the time of the protest), “It’s like Ivy’s getting special treatment just because she’s got the biggest chest and so she needs some more support. That’s a little bit unfair, y’know? We’re here to try and get our message across that we’re not taking this kind of sexist treatment anymore. Enough is enough.”

Miss Alexandra made a point of dismissing her outfit as less practical than ever, noting the low cut of the top and what she called the removal of “any kind of dignity-retaining skirt”. “How can I fight in this? I can’t focus on fighting when I’m worried about the girls popping out, or how many guys are looking up my skirt.”

Other fighters at the protest were also quick to point out the impracticality of their outfits, not least the aforementioned Miss Valentine. “Sure, after I asked them nicely to give me a little more support, the suits at Namco obliged, but it’s like they’ve just stretched the material up and made everything else more uncomfortable! I’m not even gonna go into the specifics of the thong..”

Resident ninja Taki - who would only give us her last name on pain of death - expressed extreme discomfort at the new-found tightness of her leotard, and revealed to us that she has taken it upon herself to receive respiratory treatment after she was diagnosed with breathing problems, and is currently preparing to take Namco Bandai to court over the fees for her treatment.

In response to the picket line forming outside of their own headquarters, Namco Bandai have threatened to reduce the comfort and coverage of the characters’ clothing until there is nothing left at all. As a result, gleeful nerdy fanboys have begged the fighters to continue their protests until the bitter end.

Reporting from Namco Bandai HQ, Youlikeyams for SGC News.

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