As violence continues to rock Liberty City, as one of the worst crime waves in history descends upon the metropolis, the seemingly infinite ranks of the Liberty City Police Department have announced a strike, effective immediately. At issue, weapons.

“We feel we are outgunned every time we pull up to a disturbance,” said one officer who spoke with us under the condition of anonymity. “It wasn’t an issue until earlier this week. But all the sudden everyone’s got assault rifles and RPG’s. We just feel silly trying to suppress that kind of firepower with a pistol or a shotgun.”

The latest outbreak in violence has taken quite a toll on Liberty City’s finest, claiming more than 2 million police officers in a matter of 4 days and ending a nearly 3 year stretch of zero crime.

“I’m not sure what the hell’s gotten into everyone, but all of the sudden, everyone’s acting like a demented psychopath,” said Mayor Fred Gorbachev. “We’ve got shootouts all over town, jackasses trying to climb on top of our perpetually taxiing airliners, and more helicopter crashes in the past 4 days than in the history of aviation combined. We’ve had to replace 21,000 helicopters in a week!”

Liberty City Police Union spokesman John Doe said that their demands are simple.

“We need to be better equipped to face these scum and win. Right now the administration’s solution seems to be sending hundreds of us into the line of fire, in a battle of attrition. If it gets really bad they send up a helicopter that just gets shot down. Then they send up another one. And another one. This system is broken and we need proper weapons to deal with this threat.”

There has been no word on whether the city is prepared to meet the demands of the police force, meanwhile many citizens of the city seem totally unaware of the violence. Earlier today the streets around the port were teaming with hundreds of folks, strolling around without any real destination. Moments later, blood ran thick into the gutters as a hijacked luggage truck slammed into the crowd, doubling back 7 times until almost no one remained.

Incredibly, within moments the mess caused by this slaughter was gone, and residents were once again seen going about their daily routines, as if nothing had happened. Then the luggage truck came back again, and ran all of THOSE people down.

While the crime wave in Liberty City is shattering all kinds of mortality records, there was some good news from officials this morning. The job market is strong, with almost limitless opportunities available in the firefighting, EMS, car and helicopter manufacturing and healthcare industries.

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