With Grand Theft Auto IV breaking records and taking names, Rockstar has decided that before EA commits it’s hostile take over, they had better get started on GTA V. I’m sure they believe, as we all do, that if Rockstar doesn’t get going on GTA V, they could find GTA IV being re-released without an I. Nobody wants that.

The first order of business is to find a city. They’ve already done New York, LA, Vegas, San Fransisco and Miami, so it’s time to think about a change of scenery. This month, Rockstar will be sending out a team of “specialists” to evaluate a list of cities. An inside source with Rockstar cited, on the condition of anonymity, that the cities would be chosen for their “personality and exotic nature.”

Here’s the exclusive list of the finalists, in no specific order.

Beijing, China

Yao Ming, dynasties, chopsticks, and communism, these are the things that come to mind when I think of China. Well, that and Free Tibet with a few human rights violations thrown in.

One of the “pros” for Beijing is that their citizens are no strangers to having their rights infringed upon. At any moment they could be murdered as part of Police brutality, collateral damage, or just run the f*** over metaphorically and literally. Transforming this into GTA V’s city wouldn’t be that big of a plunge.

Beijing is also major transportation hub. Getting to run around and car jack people deep inside Red China would be quite taboo, especially since the cops are just like the army and will shoot you for looking at them the wrong way, although Rockstar lists this as a positive. The good news is that you will always be able to “third world” someone, since the cops will all be rocking AK-47’s. The downside is that due to massive pollution, most people are ridding bicycles, by order of the government. I guess it would be the first copy of the game with a unicycle race.

One negative is that the ability to do the proverbial “Movin’ on up” will be difficult in this setting because most people don’t live as extravagantly as Tommy Vercetti in Vice City, with his Scarface style lodgings. It will just have to be less modest government issued housing. Sounds like motivation to me.

Paris, France

Ah, France…. the sights, the sounds, the surrendering? Thought by many to be the world center of culture and art, this historic city is full of awesome things to be smashed, blown up and jumped.

The French are considered to be stereotypically snobby and left wing in nature. I could think of no one better to pull out of their car while they cursed at me. Police chases will be a bit different feeling, with the distinct European police siren.

There are tons of expensive art in that city. Much like the car jacking missions, I could see having to run in to a gallery, steal a painting and get it back to a location with out damaging it. Nothing ruins a good painting like a bullet or a piece of shrapnel.

On the down side, shooting French citizens may be too good to pass up, which may overshadow the story that Rockstar spends so much time and money on. I’ll tell you what, there’s no way I’m doing a fetch quest when there’s surrender monkeys to carjack.

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