First GTA IV Patch is out!

May 2nd, 2008 at 8:55 am · 14 Comments

While many people were enjoying GTA IV this week, some seemed less than thrilled with the game. After much complaining about the difficulty of driving and flying helicopters during the days that followed the release of GTA IV, Rockstar Games has issued it’s first patch.

More information, after the jump!

Called the “Easy” button patch, Rockstar’s Ted Daniels explains, “After so many people bitched and moaned about the difficulty in driving, we’ve patched the game to include one button press access to the ‘Easy’ mode of driving and flying within the city.”

Gamers around the world rejoiced, calling the one button set up a “godsend!” Jeromy Maddams, one of the biggest complainers in the ongoing movement for easier driving in GTA IV discussed his glee. “I just thought it was so hard to drive a helicopter. All I have to do now is press one button and the game does all the work for me, while i just stare out the window into space. The game now literally plays itself, which is great, cause I don’t have a lot of time, and I’m hoping that the game plays itself to completion, so I don’t have to play it anymore.”

Upon learning that players were simply pressing the “easy” button and letting the game play itself to 100% completion, Daniels, obviously exasperated, said, “Well they paid their 60 bucks already right? Well you can tell those wankers that I said to F$ck off!”

No word yet as to whether Foo Mo Jive, of Podtacular Internet fame, has uploaded the patch, although he was recently spotted at a downtown hot spot while supposedly online and playing GTA IV…

More details as they arrive.

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    Categories: Parody News

    14 responses so far ↓

    • Tan says:

      Seriously – I got excited about this for a second.

    • Tenudin says:

      Working in a shot at Doc for his “Easy Button” article and closing with a shot at FMJ… Great article.

    • D-O-C says:

      Dude. I started fiction friday…. and this got me.

      Mother 67776er

    • Tweep says:

      Damn, saw that it was tabbed as ‘news’ (instead of ‘fake news’) and was excited till the easy button comment.

    • Phoenix says:

      Lol, this is why I love fiction friday’s.

    • SarcasticSparki says:

      When I read this “Called the “Easy” button patch” I recalled yesterdays Easy Button article.. and remembered it was Friday.

      Up until then, it’d be easy to believe a patch coming out so soon. The game does have some issues.

    • Saccia says:

      So far, I’ve only had one issue with the game. In multiplayer, it seems that because people hear the game characters in single-player using racial slurs and other profanities, they think that means they should fill in-game-voice with it. The game saying something is one thing but you shouting it to someone else is not cool. After last night’s experience, I’m wondering if GTAIV’s multiplayer might degrade to such a point that people don’t bother to play anymore. Maybe they’ll patch the “File a Complaint” system so people actually get banned for crap on in-game-voice.

    • Odins Messenger says:

      There you go Doc, its a god send for you, who need practice when you have an easy button?

    • evilsheepmaster says:

      It’s about time. I was wondering when technology would solve the you-have-to-play-the-game-to-beat-it problem.

    • Tweep says:

      I thought the “you-have-to-play-the-game-to-beat-it problem had already been taken care of in the Metal Gear Solid series…

    • Crunkhippo says:

      You had me until “Easy Button”… Bastard.

    • paulmess7 says:

      You guys should throw in broken news all throuh the week, so people don’t notice they are fiction friday articles… Thatd b funy :P

    • Tom says:

      I cant believe what i am hearing!
      The driving of cars and flying of helicopters is simple, You call yourselves gamers!
      All it takes is a bit of skill.

    • I guess Tom didnt get the joke ..

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