For those of you who don’t know already, I am the love child of video game legend PacMan and a female Polar Bear. Abandoned by my father, I was raised in the cold Canadian North by my loving Polar Bear mother Bernice. While I did inherit PacMan’s love of video games, my mother taught me everything I know. From finding the best garbage dumps to rummage through to picking the best tourists to maul, my mom made me the man I am today.

That’s why news that Polar Bear’s may become the newest mount in World Of Warcraft has made me so angry! Would you want a bunch of pimple faced shut-ins to mount YOUR mom?!

Find out all the details on Blizzard’s Polar Bear cruelty after the jump!

Blizzard staff member Tigole let slip this past Monday that Polar Bear’s may become a new mount for the WoW: Wrath of the Lich King expansion. This horrific news was confirmed today by Blizzard staff member Bornakk.

My extended family is furious at the news and I cannot blame them. My mother, brothers and sisters (those not eaten by my uncle Bob) deserve better. If WoW gamers wanted to mount Brown Bears, Panda’s or even Koala’s, I would not care. Brown Bears smell, Pandas are the clowns of the Bear kingdom and Koalas…let’s just say I don’t like’em and leave it at that shall we?

Mom deserves to be able to roam the ice sheets of Alaska and the North West Territories, eating abandoned fast food, starring in Coca-Cola commercials and occasionally tearing off the leg of a foolish tourist who got too close to my new baby sister Vespa, in peace, the way mother nature intended. If I showed up at YOUR house with a saddle, asking to ride your mom around the countryside, you’d be pissed off too.

Source: WorldOfWar

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