To sooth the gamer ego is to guide the unnatural flow of adrenaline, intensified with graphical thrills, engaging plot, and intricate detail. Satisfaction is the result of achievement, and the titles that grasp this general concept are more likely to be successful. Developing this feeling of gratification is artificial at root, but can feel organic if executed correctly. The primary objective of developers should always be to create an environment with vicarious effects.
In the desperate game of life, the survival of the fittest has played its role in determining, in a simpler sense, the winner and loser. Other organisms tend to…
… Oh my god. Oh my GOD! What THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO? WHERE HAS MY MIND BEEN FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS! The site has been raving about this god damn article for so long, and THREE HOURS FROM THE DUE DATE, there’s NOTHING. I really should have put more time into it, rather than getting high and playing with my BaconSalt shakers.
So what am I gonna do? 180 minutes…no…179 minutes until Lono needs the final copy. Oh geeze, oh geeze.
This was the article that was supposed to change the face of gaming journalism forever. This was going to win Pulitzer Prizes and hoards of grant money. I was going to quit and rub it in Doc’s face, right after I got the cash!
Okay. Calm down Matt. Just close Wordpress and chill out. Time to play Call of Duty 4.
…HEAD INTO BATTLE! PAGE 2 PAGE 2!
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I want a volkov podcast now..
lol
Bravo. For that performance, you win Lono’s family and a goat.
lol didnt get but still funny ass hell oh and DIG BABY DIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
simply beautiful.
This is really the MOST SARCASTIC unveiling in video game history. for the last three months, Doc, Lono, Dave, and Alex have all been incredibly SARCASTIC in hyping up this article.
i love this website so much
Awesome! :O So much reading to do xD Nice articel Volkov, keep it up!
Love it!
Great Work!
10 of 10!
Will change history as we know it! (Well, maybe not…
Classic!
“At least goths have the balls to hurt on the inside..”
Your my hero… marry me?
His podcast comes up as Blues under iTunes.
Lol
“I wish I could go to Valve..so I could fix their pipes AHAHAHAHA”
The podcast was the best thing in it by far. I honestly thought it was going to suck before I started reading it.
Good job.
And they say Marijuana is harmless?! Lies!
I feel so much richer for the experience of having read this post. I know the effects are going to be profound. Things are going to change in this world from this day on. I just know it.
I wish i worked at valve… so i could fix the pipes…
Perfect martini time joke… so perfect…its scary
@Doc
Thank you for the kinds words Doc.
*takes Volkov’s golden toothpick and lays it as the ground’s of Doc’s feet*
Maybe people should start digging the response…
Title “The “Greatest” Response to the “Greatest” Sarcastic Gamer Article ever.” Lol…
I wrote everything I felt. It was like an article in an article. Use those words of wisdom people. I have given you a sign of better things to always come…
Cod out.
The Impacts of Personality on the Global Gaming Scale | Eplayr.com…
\r\nIts the ultimate gaming article in the history of the world wide web.\r\nWhat…
if there is anything on the face of this earth worthy of a digg… this is it
Awesome, someone else that watches QBA… have you seen the one w/ the … … I can’t do it, I can’t even think up something that would be that twisted.
Good Article (Captcha Agrees: outflow excellent), I’m a better man for reading this. Better then what, I don’t know. But where was this brilliance 2 days ago? I’d love to see one page of this in Jive. Wait, I take that back… that’s a bad idea.
i think… umm… what…
that article sounded like a collection of things that people say in the 5 min before they pass out from partying too hard
Lol…
Lets take acid and write!!!
so this is the article supposed to change the fate of sarcasticgamer.com huh?, you guys are extremely screwed only another parody video/song could save you now
I expected something else, your regular podcasts entertain me a lot more, i am a little disappointed
THIS article is the pinnacle of Gaming journalism! And i loved your podcast WAY better (SG Podcast V2.0 rated best podcast among Elmhurst Illinois 15 year olds) than that crappy one i get off itunes. I expect episode 2 soon
This is like halo 3. Great game, just hyped into a corner. You need to work on your time management.
That was brilliant. Truly lived up to the hype.
I suppose this is somehow mocking how gaming journalism hypes up things because the publisher throws money at them, and it turns out to be awful.
(Kane and Lynch for example)
You gotta read between the lines to realise that though. Read between them A LOT.
Good job.
Absolutely hilarious. I love it I love it I love it.
Great job Matt! The randomosity was great and I was consantly laughing. You exceded my expectations.
Nice read, props to Volkov but it kinda felt a bit broken, like you wrote half of it in a couple of days and then returned to it a month later with a new idea.
Still Great Job
Thats 10 minutes of my life I cant get back!
Seems like it failed to deliver on a few promises but I gotta say; I LOVED THIS!
Far better than a serious article ever could have been!
It was easily Matt’s best article yet. Who gives a crap about boring facts and such? This is Sarcastic Gamer and I think this was the pinnacle of everything the site has achieved. We were all expecting some dissertation type article and we all just got rick rolled!!
Volkov I salute you!!
*Steal other golden things and take them for myself*
i did not think it was that great, what was the point? 40% of it was written by other people, a list, graphic, or stupid conversation
When I first read this article I said to myself, “This sucks!” But then I relized is Volkov had written a sophiticated article, would it have been any better. Of cousre not! This article was definately one of the best i have read on this site.
yeah….I feel like I just drank a case of redbull.
um….don’t worry there’s always the podcast.
page 11 ftw for i to have done those things if only in my dreams sept for gilfs ggilfs thats just sick volkov but o well good arcticle i guess???
Dude…awesome ‘podcast’.
I waited for about 4 months for this article and you know what I think of it? ITS AMAZING!!! Great “podcast” too.
Dude, what did i just read?
Hahaha, great work. Loved every minute of that article. The wait was worth it.
that was great
Holy crap. Speaking of crap, this article was full of it. It was also funny as hell.
That…was…AWESOME!!! I want more articles like this. You are my writer monkey, now write!
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